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Thread: Transparency vs. Facebook Life

  1. #11
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iris lilies View Post
    Struggles? What struggles? We don't have no steenkin’ troubles in OUR family, well, nothing that a good night’s sleep and perhaps an aspirin won’t solve.

    haha. This is kinda our Family mantra but it gets us through. So of course there’s no sharing of any troubles with blood relatives On the social media sites, but for the in-laws, they don’t seem to follow that code.
    In my circle, we don't air our grievances endlessly (if at all), for which I am grateful. There's lots to be said, IMO, for the stoic/personal responsibility approach.

  2. #12
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    Son in law works for FB. You need to be very mindful of what you post, ie nothing very revealing.

  3. #13
    Senior Member jp1's Avatar
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    Like razz, I'm curious what the context is. I'll give an example that may or not be relevant. If someone suspects that a teenager in their orbit might be LGBT the right approach is not to ask them if they are gay or whatever. That could have the opposite of the intended effect. Especially if someone has been taunting them or calling them names. A better approach is to openly and positively discuss something regarding LGBT people, such as commenting favorably about something in the news like last week's supreme court decision regarding workplace discrimination. And continue to do so when opportunities arise. Or simply being out of the closet if one is LGBT. Anything that lets the person know that you are a potential ally if/when they are ready to start talking to someone.

  4. #14
    Geila
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    Ok, let me clarify what I meant. I use the term FB Life, not as the vehicle for communication per se (though many young people prefer communication via some sort of social media platform). It's more the approach to how one presents oneself, i.e., a curated life that presents an idealized picture of how we want others to see us, whether it's who we are or not. Rather than being who we are, warts and all. jp1's comment about being open about one's own sexuality if one is LGBT is a good example. This would open up an opportunity for dialogue if someone younger is struggling with their own sexuality. Or any other issue, for that matter. I think being transparent in this sense lets a younger person know that you are someone that they can open up to as well. And if anything, you will understand their struggle and offer support, or just a sympathetic ear.

    The other example that came to mind, before jp1 hit the nail on the head, is how in the old days mothers would avoid talking to their daughters about menstruation. How scary for a girl to one day have the experience thrust upon her without any warning or preparation. All because women were embarrassed about discussing such "delicate" issues. That type of thing, where having some information, preparation, advice, guidance, etc... can help a person navigate issues/experiences/struggles that we've gone through and had to learn the hard way.

    Reminds me a bit of students who are the first in their family to go to college, or have the opportunity to go to college, and how often parents, especially immigrant and/or poor parents, are ill-equipped to guide their child through the process (despite their best efforts) simply by virtue of not having gone through the experience themselves. When you contrast that to students whose parents have the resources and knowledge to guide them, how much easier and enjoyable that same experience and transition is for them.

    Does that help?

  5. #15
    Senior Member jp1's Avatar
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    The whole concept of facebook life is fascinating to me. Because yes, I have some friends whose facebook life is very curated. It's all fabulous vacations, fabulous meals, fabulous clothes. Fabulous, fabulous, fabulous! And others whose whole facebook life is OMG, I can't believe this happened to me... I suppose for some people it's an accurate representation of their moods and thoughts, and for others it's an effort to present a certain image. About a year ago I realized that my facebook life was almost entirely an even split between "aren't my cats adorable" and "San Francisco transit seriously sucks" and not much else. Now, in our covid era, I long for the days when I could take transit to go do things. It's such a pain having to drive anywhere that's too far to walk. I'm tempted to go delete all my transit gripe posts because they just seem silly and minor now, but then I think about the fact that precisely no one is likely to go digging through my old posts. I haven't added a new facebook friend in years.

    I don't think, though, that the curated life presentation is really a new thing. My mom was one of eight kids. Throughout their entire adult lives, from the 1950's until sometime after 2000, they sent around a "round robin" letter. It followed the same order (by age I think) and one would read everyone's new letter, remove their own last letter to the group, write a new one, and send the whole batch on to the next person. A couple of my aunt/uncles were in the habit of presenting what would today be the curated fabulous Facebook life. Their kids were always smarter, winning more awards, etc. Their house always had the nicest furniture from the most fancy stores. Their car may have cost a bit more but Car and Driver ranked it #1 and they got a great deal... And so on. The rest of them tended to just present everything, the good and the bad.

  6. #16
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    The dreaded Christmas Letter was a precursor to today's social media curated life.
    We used to get one every year from an acquaintance and laugh and laugh.

  7. #17
    Simpleton Alan's Avatar
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    This was my wife's Facebook post for today. It was captioned with "He's pretty tough for an old guy". I'm now wondering what it says about me?

    "Things should be made as simple as possible, but not one bit simpler." ~ Albert Einstein

  8. #18
    Senior Member jp1's Avatar
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    I'd say it says you're having a fun vacation!

    Did you insert $.50? As a kid I always found those things disappointing. At that time I wanted the real mechanical bull experience (even though I would have had no idea what a mechanical bull was). Today that would probably be about the right speed for me.

    One thing the post does say is that your wife isn't a "fabulous life" facebooker. One post per day can't convey fabulous life. Maybe one per dinner course...

  9. #19
    Geila
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alan View Post
    This was my wife's Facebook post for today. It was captioned with "He's pretty tough for an old guy". I'm now wondering what it says about me?

    I think it says your wife thinks you're pretty hot! And you know it. If you're sexy and you know it....

  10. #20
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Geila View Post
    I think it says your wife thinks you're pretty hot! And you know it. If you're sexy and you know it....
    Haha. It’s a cute picture.

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