Are you" isolated" ?

[nswef]

I find I am enjoying- (perhaps too much) the lack of socialization. I just ordered Dinner theater season tickets and haven't been or plan to go yet, but felt I should support them. I like having no schedule and am spending a lot of time in the yard, writing-although not nearly as much as I could be doing with the time I have, and doing some housework more thoroughly. I have been focusing on my meditation and doing webinars on writing. I did meet with my sisters- distanced on my porch - it was wonderful to see them It had been since November for one and Feb. for the other. One friend has visited a few times, again distanced on the porch or in the yard. Some phone calls, but I'm not real good about that. I feel very fortunate to have a husband I like to be with! He's golfing which involves having breakfast with 5 other guys...some not so careful, but we've been OK so far.

[Tammy]

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about this idea of enjoying the quiet isolated life, as mentioned above.

I find nothing wrong with enjoying isolation. I hope that as we are less impacted by the pandemic, people feel free to continue the isolation if that is what they enjoy.

I’m done with the idea that we all need to be extroverts.

[KayLR]

Well, I hope I am not hijacking this thread, but something is really bugging me, and what better place to express?

We live in an older neighborhood, c. 70s homes. Our large backyard abuts two backyards, no alley between. I mentioned one odd couple that "accidentally" sprayed me with Roundup a while back. All of the yards are separated by cyclone fencing.

Then there is another couple next to them. Mom, Dad, two little girls--they have a dog and are raising ducks and chickens! I have no problem with any of that. Their home is much like mine was when I was raising my two girls. We don't interact much. Sometimes when I'm out back weeding or throwing stuff in the compost I'll wave or say, "hi." The little girls don't speak. That's ok. Well, one day one of them (probably 5 or 6) was holding one of the hens. I remarked to her that it was a very pretty chicken and asked if it was her favorite. She said yes and then here came the mom. She was a bit guarded, but I introduced myself and made small talk. She told me her name. I kept it short, and went on my way. It kinda made me feel good that I had at least made some contact with a neighbor.

Well last weekend there was a lot of racket going on and I looked out to see the dad boring fencepost holes in the ground and by Sunday night a 6-ft (at least) fence was erected. Can't see a thing.

Now I don't consider myself a busybody---that brief convo was the first since they moved in last summer---and somehow I am really taking this fence personally. It makes me kinda feel bad. I wonder why they felt the need to erect such a wall between themselves and all the neighbors. I feel boxed in now too.

Not to mention, some of us neighbors kinda watch out for each other....not gonna happen with them now.

[razz]

Is there a cultural aspect to this situation?

I have one neighbour who built a new house about the same time I moved into mine. It is surrounded by high 6 foot fence. All the windows are masked with a type of glass frosting. The mother escorts her son everywhere. The father is an MD in a specialty field. He does mow his lawn but seems to have limited understanding of yard maintenance including fertilizer. It has taken 6 years of my smiling and gently greeting them whenever our paths cross - now they smile immediately and nod in reply - never a word spoken. This seems to be the approach with the other neighbours as well. I wonder if they have come through some challenging times or have language limitations.
Not every culture is outgoing and neighbourly is my thinking.

[catherine]

That's a bummer about the fence, Kay--hopefully it doesn't take away from your views or feelings of openness in your yard. I wouldn't take it personally. I think some people are fence people. They were probably going to put the fence up anyway. It will probably help protect the ducks and chickens, and if they have a dog, that's another reason to put a fence up.

[KayLR]

Is there a cultural aspect to this situation?

I have one neighbour who built a new house about the same time I moved into mine. It is surrounded by high 6 foot fence. All the windows are masked with a type of glass frosting. The mother escorts her son everywhere. The father is an MD in a specialty field. He does mow his lawn but seems to have limited understanding of yard maintenance including fertilizer. It has taken 6 years of my smiling and gently greeting them whenever our paths cross - now they smile immediately and nod in reply - never a word spoken. This seems to be the approach with the other neighbours as well. I wonder if they have come through some challenging times or have language limitations.
No1t every culture is outgoing and neighbourly is my thinking.

nope, just your average white couple like 95% of SW Washington.

[KayLR]

That's a bummer about the fence, Kay--hopefully it doesn't take away from your views or feelings of openness in your yard. I wouldn't take it personally. I think some people are fence people. They were probably going to put the fence up anyway. It will probably help protect the ducks and chickens, and if they have a dog, that's another reason to put a fence up.

Yeah, maybe they would have---guess the cyclone fence they had wasn't sufficient.

[Jane v2.0]

If I bought a house without a fenced yard, I wouldn't waste any time getting a fence built. Some people really value their privacy. I wouldn't take it personally.

[nswef]

Kay, Perhaps the round up sprayer person made them worry about the kids and animals. Maybe they hate cyclone fences. I don't know what I would do if we lived closer to people's houses like in the suburbs, maybe I would want a fence. As it is we have a nodding relationship with both neighbors and one other is rather stand offish, but is coming around. We tend to talk to the neighbors more in the summer when we are all out doing yard things. The ones next door have 3 kids and I LOVE hearing them.

[Teacher Terry]

We are friendly with our neighbors and they are nice. We have lived in places where that’s not the case. Our yard has metal fencing with privacy slats. There is a wood fence by our patio and we will keep it when it needs replacing. We sit outside a lot and like the privacy. We have dogs so fences are necessary but regardless without one neighbors kids would be in the yard, etc. Kay, your neighbors are acting strange.