What would you do: Wedding shower + COVID

[Tammy]

I would not go. We are still increasing and have not peaked.

An old friend of ours died of covid. His widow had a regular visitation and funeral, everybody together for hours. This is not wise.

[Tammy]

I’m home on day 7 with my covid experience. My husband is on day 6. I continue to watch for shortness of breath but we’re ok there. Other symptoms continue. I’m sleeping 15 or more hours a day. Body aches. Headaches. This is not to be taken lightly.

I’m well aware that we are now entering week 2, where some people go suddenly downhill. I have a packet of medical paperwork and insurance card for each of us on the counter, ready in case we would have to call 911.

In light of all this why would anyone go to a voluntary social gathering is beyond me.

[Anne Lee]

Since you can't decide at the last minute to not attend due to bad weather, I would decline. Thirty is still a lot of people even in an outdoor setting. I doubt DH would be the life of the party if he's worried about C-19. These are the times we live in, I guess.

[Geila]

I think it would be wise for you and DH to stay home since he is high risk. But what about asking if any of your kids want to go 'represent' and share the day with their sis/sis-in-law? Less risky for them, DD will have family there, and they would probably enjoy the gathering more. I always think it's awkward when family does bridal showers; it used to be something you did with your girlfriends and you could make jokes and embarrass the bride with skimpy lingerie gifts. If mom and grandma, and now dad and grandpa are sitting there, it's so different. You guys can always hold an event later when things are safer and throw them a good party.

[sweetana3]

This is our new normal. If you expect their marriage to be a life long event, I would not put health at risk for a social event with unknown people in an unknown location (the possibility it could be inside) with unknown health status.

Explain you are basing your decision on your husband's health, the difficulty and danger of traveling right now, and want you all to be there to celebrate other important occasions of her life.

[rosarugosa]

I'm with those who think that neither of you should go. Thirty people is a lot, and any risk you take on personally you are also taking on for DH since you live together in a small home.

[JaneV2.0]

Maybe some of the attendees can appear via Zoom or something to pay their respects?
Like others, I really can't imagine why people would risk disability or death for social gatherings.

[Tybee]

Maybe some of the attendees can appear via Zoom or something to pay their respects?
Like others, I really can't imagine why people would risk disability or death for social gatherings.

I think of this as more of a life event than a social gathering, but I can certainly see why you would say that. I would definitely put the wedding in the life event category; shower is a little blurrier, but yes, those are both social gatherings, but to me something like a wedding or a funeral if a life event rather than a social gathering or a party.

[catherine]

I think of this as more of a life event than a social gathering, but I can certainly see why you would say that. I would definitely put the wedding in the life event category; shower is a little blurrier, but yes, those are both social gatherings, but to me something like a wedding or a funeral if a life event rather than a social gathering or a party.

I agree. I hate to have my DD fly solo on this. Jane, I in addition to the 30 people my in-laws invited from their side to be there in person, I have invited 20 people from both sides to be on Zoom, so we are definitely doing the Zoom thing. This shower was tacked on to a family event they had already planned, so it's not like all those people traveled just for the shower.

Geila, I like the idea of a family stand-in! But it's a hard ask because one of my kids has to work and the two others have families, and it's a long drive for both of them (4-5 hours). So, I feel I am actively going to give DH permission not to attend. I think I still might go, but I'll wear a mask the whole time and stay outside. I'm hoping we can do the Zoom outside, too. If it rains heavily, I'll leave. I do not want to bring anything home (besides cake .

Thank you for your opinions--I have taken them all into account.

[razz]

I would avoid the event. I think this sort of thing during the pandemic is foolishness.

This gathering is being done for the benefit and the convenience of others, at the risk of any/all attending not being able to attend your daughter's wedding. I am having a hard time understanding that this is beneficial in any way to you, your DH or your daughter. I don't understand your daughter's thinking that her dad's safety is not the priority to ensure his presence at her wedding over an event held elsewhere.