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Thread: Mom has given up driving

  1. #11
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    Lovely to read of gentle kinds of solutions to tough problems.
    As Cicero said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”

  2. #12
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    Thanks Tybee. My mom got her driver’s license at age 54. My dad was getting sicker from emphysema from being a tool grinder. He had to retire at 54 due to ill health.

  3. #13
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    So much easier before something happens.
    I don't know when a doctor is responsible for filling out the form, letting the DMV know their patient isn't mentally fit to drive; I doubt that has gone away.
    A friend who owns a restaurant, that I sharpen knives for, had an elderly couple that would go in fairly regularly. The wife was mentally fit, but had never had a license, the husband had alzheimers and drove everywhere. Their kids ignored it all, through everything including when his wife had to go into a home, and the father forgot where she was.
    Another customer saw them finally react, when their dad, ordered a meal, twice, and paid for the first without eating it. They decided to have the talk with their father, who was getting up there, and their mom, that he cared for, who had alzheimers. From my friend who owns the restaurant, the family showed up, and their dad showed up a little late, and drove into the side of the building. He didn't say a word, just came in and handed his keys over.
    I still find the second one funny, not so much the first one.
    Glad it worked out for all.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    It’s one reason we moved into town because we can use uber or Lyft if needed. No way I would live in a rural area that was dependent on driving.

  5. #15
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    This happened many years ago:


    Our close friend called us at 2 o’clock in the morning. He needed a ride two hours away into another state. He had to go pick up his elderly father who was picked up by the police in another state for driving the wrong way on the highway. The police said to the effect that it was easy to get confused on this particular highway. The old dad had not intended to go that far into that state he would just got out for a little drive, got confuse, kept driving,…


    Our friend took his dad’s keys away but that made the dad very very mad. Somehow he got more keys. He continued to drive, but at least he wasn’t driving at night and he didn’t drive far.

  6. #16
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    My Dad got into several accidents in the last couple of years he was driving. My sister attempted to take away the keys once, but for whatever reason unbeknownst to me, she gave them back. It was very stressful during those times especially when he took his last long distance trip several months before he died and yeah he had a fender bender on the way home.

  7. #17
    Senior Member beckyliz's Avatar
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    I am dreading the day I have to take the keys away from DH (probably not far off). At this point, if we're going anywhere together, I drive. He hasn't been driving much since the shut-down. He will drive to the grocery store. He did drive us to church Sunday morning and did fine (it's a short drive). He has worked as a paraprofessional at a local high school the last 2 years and has been asked back. With the probable reduced class size, I won't be surprised if they don't need him. That might be a blessing in disguise and save him the hurt of them possibly letting him go this year because he can't do the job anymore.

    At this point, I'm ok with him driving to the grocery store/gas station, church and school. He has always prided himself on his driving and is quick to point out others' mistakes. I think this is especially true as his other life skills are diminishing, which means taking the keys away will really hurt him, but I know I have to do it for everyone's safety.
    "Do not accumulate for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and thieves break in and steal. But accumulate for yourselves treasure in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, your heart is also." Jesus

  8. #18
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    My friend with Alzheimer’s wouldn’t quit driving so besides selling her car he had to lock the keys in a safe when home. She actually was a good driver for a long time. Sorry you are going through this Becky. He is also young to have the disease as was my friend.

  9. #19
    Senior Member beckyliz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
    My friend with Alzheimer’s wouldn’t quit driving so besides selling her car he had to lock the keys in a safe when home. She actually was a good driver for a long time. Sorry you are going through this Becky. He is also young to have the disease as was my friend.
    Thanks, Teacher Terry. DH is 68 and I'm 60. I started noticing symptoms 3-4 years ago; he was diagnosed almost 2 years ago.
    "Do not accumulate for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and thieves break in and steal. But accumulate for yourselves treasure in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, your heart is also." Jesus

  10. #20
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    I consider that young for dementia. It’s amazing he’s been able to work which I am sure is good for him.

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