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Thread: What is the one spiritual quality that you value most?

  1. #1
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    What is the one spiritual quality that you value most?

    I recently felt the need to withdraw from both the Board and membership of a small cherished organization. I struggled with alternatives to withdrawal but found there were few that were doable.

    Being introspective, I wondered what the challenge really was about. I liked the people basically, the purpose of the organization was basically good so what was the straw that broke my camel's back?

    The activities of the organization included community donations to other organizations of time and money.

    It came down to values once again.

    At the end of my reflection, I realized that I value transparency. I mentioned at different times the importance of the organization being transparent and being seen to be transparent as well as our efforts on its behalf.

    Over the past three years, some of the members would undertake activities that would reflect on the organization that the rest of the Board knew nothing about. Some activities even left the Board members vulnerable to dealing with possible legal issues. I raised this concern several times. These were not evil people but their skill set lacked a sense of public accountability.

    Sometimes expensive contractor services for the building maintenance were solicited without all the Board being consulted regarding the need or options. These all got dealt with as they arose.

    The 'straw' - some of the group continued to hold public meetings when all meetings were halted by a government mandate during lockdown due to Covid 19. I initially was not aware of these meetings and yet I as a Board member would be held accountable as would the organization itself.

    So while I always had considered kindness and empathy as very important values, I now know that I value transparency more.

    What quality do you value most?
    “The medium is the message. This is merely to say that the personal and social consequences of any medium – that is, of any extension of ourselves – result from the new scale that is introduced into our affairs by each extension of ourselves, or by any new technology.” (Marshall McLuhan, Understanding Media: The Extensions of Man, 1964)

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    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Like Ben & Jerry's ice cream, it's hard to pick just one.

    That's why I actually had a bracelet made for myself with stones representing my elders and the virtues I associated with them. I was so lucky to have fantastic elders as role models.

    So here are the virtues I thank my elders for every day in prayer:

    My mother: Courage and The Heart of a Child
    My MIL: Grit and Temperance (Frugality)
    My grandmother: Devotion to God
    My great-aunt: Simplicity and Peace
    My aunt: Grace and Beauty

    I truly can't pick one. If I were to pick the one that I need it would be courage. If I would pick the one I want, it would be Beauty. If it would be the one I want my grandkids to associate with me, it would be Simplicity and Peace. If it were the one I really admire, it would be Grit.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

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    My life’s mantra is unconditional positive regard. I love the humanist psychologists.

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    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Transparency is important, foe sure! What a crummy way to make end runs around the Board!

    I see our little hobby groups doing some of that, at least, members might see it that way, but these are plant societies essentially run by the founders. So, while input and participation by all is extolled, Founders essentially do what they wanna do.

    And really? I’m OK with that because these are small hobby groups with limited reach and small treasuries so it’s not like anyone is stealing the money for personal gain or ruining the reputation of our organization Because the founders are the figureheads and essentially are the voice of the organization. Like it or not.

    Now when it comes to my neighborhood association (and I’m on the board for that) those that manage are all quite sincere in involving the community and other board members in decisions. Some of the committee heads are fairly useless or run their area “my way or the highway” and consequently are not the best ambassadors of the organization, but With volunteers you get what you get and can only guide them.

    Razz, I will bet your organization will take serious note of your resignation. That may cause them to change some of their ways.
    Last edited by iris lilies; 10-26-20 at 9:15pm.

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    I like these lyrics from Jewel "in the end only kindness matters".

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    I'm really not sure what would be defined as a "spiritual quality" versus other qualities. So many qualities are equally important and often go hand-in-hand.

    But to answer the question, on an organizational level, I think I rank "honesty" pretty high. On an individual level, I think I pick "kindness".
    To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer." Mahatma Gandhi
    Be nice whenever possible. It's always possible. HH Dalai Lama
    In a world where you can be anything - be kind. Unknown

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    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    I like my word to mean something. There are many aspects to that, but I dont like making promises that
    i cannot keep. Or I dont like taking on tasks And responsibilities I cannot finish.

    In that regard I am the conscience of our neighborhood organization. I am always on alert for the things we seem to say we will do, obligations we make, that dissipate over time and are easily forgotten by new Board of Directors.

    Having been here for 30 years I have heard the same ideas floated over and over. Each generation floating the idea thinks it is a great new idea. I DO respect that the New People get to decide the trajectory of our organization and
    i want them to be successful, but I also tire of hearing their breathless enthusiasm at throwing out ideas that have been thrown out for 30 years. The magical/mystical grant writer who will fill our coffers with gold. The super organized administrative assistant who will run our organization for $8,000 salary. The constant call for volunteers, and when those volunteers appear, their communications are not answered, these people are ignored.

    The same mistakes over and over.

    That is what I am trying to stop at the Board level.

  8. #8
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    IL, I can relate to being the conscience. Eventually, one gets tired of that role though.
    “The medium is the message. This is merely to say that the personal and social consequences of any medium – that is, of any extension of ourselves – result from the new scale that is introduced into our affairs by each extension of ourselves, or by any new technology.” (Marshall McLuhan, Understanding Media: The Extensions of Man, 1964)

  9. #9
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by razz View Post
    IL, I can relate to being the conscience. Eventually, one gets tired of that role though.
    If your fellow Board members do not take the errant actors in hand, you have no choice but to resign.

    The actions you described are not remotely like anything my neighborhood org does. My fellow board members know better.

    speaking of “representing the organization” I was reminded recently how my neighborhood org had to create elected positions on a committee in order to STOP one volunteer from schmoozing City officials, telling them she represented our organization. We had to say to city officials “only these elected people may speak for our neighborhood.” She was a nasty piece of business. She is now dead. Our lives are easier for that. She was mentally ill but physically healthy, so the craziness went on for decades.

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    What's the difference between a spiritual quality and a regular one?
    my angels riley and lucy ~ 💕

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