And the rest of this story, TT?Originally Posted by Teacher Terry
And the rest of this story, TT?
As Cicero said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”
A former coworker just found out his ex wife was cheating on him and the child he thought was his might not be. Tests will be coming. Yes, DNA can have many surprises, and hopefully IL you like your half sibling and it turns out to be a pleasant surprise.
Razz, I told the story in a thread I posted 2 years ago.
I’ve never done a DNA test so I suppose anything’s possible but knowing my parents it would truly be shocking if I were to have a half sibling out there. More likely would be to find a treasure trove of cousins. My grandfather was orphaned fairly young and left what was left of his family as a kid and never acknowledged their existence (if they did exist) to my dad or his siblings.
A friend of ours found the 30-something son he’d long suspected existed after he did 23 and me. (When he joined the navy shortly after high school he was involved in a months long 3-way relationship with a straight couple that ended badly because the woman was not mentally stable. At the time she’d said she was pregnant but he didn’t trust her to be honest and then she had disappeared so he shipped out and went on with his life. )
Whoa. That is big. So the idea is that it is from my dad, this extra sibling?
You asked about accuracy--yes, half sibling would not show up as first cousin, in my experience. My only first cousin who has taken the ancestry test shows up as my first cousin.
Are you going to get in touch with him?
Ok—here is the deal. Likely I have no half brother, “ likely” because of the following but there IS a story and my father IS likely involved in an adoption story.
definition: cousin once removed can be the child of your first cousin
23andMe DNA testing revealed For me a 1st cousin once removed named Ryan. Ryan is in his 30’s. Ryan falls in line with all of my other “cousins once removed” who have had their DNA tested, and I know who their parents are. I do not who who Ryan comes from.
I share 8% of DNA with Ryan and share around 6% of dna with other “ cousins once removed” i.e. children of first cousins that I know. So, he is someone related to me.
Because I am lazy and want only executive summary of this stuff, I emailed my cousin the genealogist asking who this Ryan chap is. I did not even know if Ryan was from my genealogist cousin’s side of the family. My genealogist cousin sent back evidence he had from another genealogist cousin who had made contact with Ryan one year ago.
Here’s where it gets interesting.
1) Ryan’s father is adopted
2) Ryan’s father, Brian, had no interest in finding his birth family and would not test his own DNA
3) Brian was adopted out of X hospital by an obstetrician and his wife. The obstetrician learned of this baby needing a family from a colleague who also worked at X hospital
4) my father worked at X hospital during this period
5) In 3 photos, Brian looks like my father (!) But he has hints of two of my uncles in his face
For context:
1) My father was married to my mother during this period and I was 18 months old when Brian was born. My father was not a philanderer. But shit happens.
2) my father looks like all of his 5 brothers, family resemblance is strong
3) My cousin, let us call him G, fathered an out of wedlock child and I have vague recollection of my mom talking about it and maybe even talking about a doctor adopting him. But that last part is very vague in my mind and maybe I just made it up who knows.
4) G would have been only 13 or 14 years old when he fathered Brian. So how likely is that? Possible.
The bottom line is that 23andMe says Ryan, the son of the adopted child, shares only 8% of his DNA with me. If Ryan was my nephew he would share around 25%. So because we are talking about pretty close relatives I don’t think the DNA is wrong here. But boy this family resemblance of Brian to my dad is really bugging me.
The end of the story is that Brian died a few months ago. That is sad that I will never meet with him but it sounds like he would nor want to meet with me anyway. He died at Y hospital. My brother works at Y hospital and might’ve taken care of him, wouldnt that have been a coincidence?
Yesterday I called my brother to relay all this and we both laughed hysterically at the idea. That’s kind of how we react to things in my family, laughing. Because it would be ridiculous and shocking if we did have a half brother, Great entertainment.
I need more coffee, but I having trouble following this because of the first cousin thing--if Brian is your first cousin, then how is he your half brother? Ryan is Brian's son, I got that much.
Agh, so confused.
Interesting that he looks so much like your dad but can’t be his with the percentage of dna he shares with you.
Brian is the mystery man, adopted, related to us, , but who spawned him is not known. It would’ve been someone who was sexually active in the year 1955.
your question is a good one and I have to go back and think about uncles who could’ve produced this child. Because it is more likely that it was an uncle generation, not a cousin generation, that produced Brian.
I do have first cousins who are old and are long dead. I mean G died more than a decade ago he would be 80 years old today.
My father had a lover for almost the entire time he was married to my mother. He eventually married her. I did not like her at all. At this stage in life, I would not want to know if I have half-siblings from their union. A simple living idea I guess.
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