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Thread: What is the one spiritual quality that you value most?

  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by iris lilies View Post
    Kindness is no good if there is no honesty behind it.
    To me, this is the point. It is not kindness if there is dishonesty. True kindness - at least for me - means being honest, ethical, etc. Someone is not being kind if they are being dishonest.
    To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer." Mahatma Gandhi
    Be nice whenever possible. It's always possible. HH Dalai Lama
    In a world where you can be anything - be kind. Unknown

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by rosarugosa View Post
    It might be just a matter of semantics, but I don't buy that there can be a component of cruelty to kindness, although I do think "tough love" can have it's place among acts of kindness. I do agree that there is more to it than surface manners.
    I agree about more than surface manners. Intention and motivation behind the actions play an important part.
    To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer." Mahatma Gandhi
    Be nice whenever possible. It's always possible. HH Dalai Lama
    In a world where you can be anything - be kind. Unknown

  3. #23
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by happystuff View Post
    I agree about more than surface manners. Intention and motivation behind the actions play an important part.
    We all have that friend who tells us what we want to hear. And we don’t exactly trust them because that’s not honest.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by iris lilies View Post
    We all have that friend who tells us what we want to hear. And we don’t exactly trust them because that’s not honest.
    Exactly.
    To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer." Mahatma Gandhi
    Be nice whenever possible. It's always possible. HH Dalai Lama
    In a world where you can be anything - be kind. Unknown

  5. #25
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by happystuff View Post
    To me, this is the point. It is not kindness if there is dishonesty. True kindness - at least for me - means being honest, ethical, etc. Someone is not being kind if they are being dishonest.
    I don't agree with this. If you show me a picture of your child who looks like a boiled monkey, it isn't kind of me to tell you so.
    I strive to be both kind and honest, but I sometimes fall short.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by JaneV2.0 View Post
    I don't agree with this. If you show me a picture of your child who looks like a boiled monkey, it isn't kind of me to tell you so.
    I strive to be both kind and honest, but I sometimes fall short.
    My first thought would be, what is your intention/motivation for even thinking of telling someone their child looks like a boiled monkey?

    Edited to add: I still say true kindness means being honest, but your example shows that honesty does not necessarily encompass kindness. Again, for me "kindness" and "honesty" are not the same thing, but I still think true kindness includes honesty.
    To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer." Mahatma Gandhi
    Be nice whenever possible. It's always possible. HH Dalai Lama
    In a world where you can be anything - be kind. Unknown

  7. #27
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JaneV2.0 View Post
    I don't agree with this. If you show me a picture of your child who looks like a boiled monkey, it isn't kind of me to tell you so.
    I strive to be both kind and honest, but I sometimes fall short.
    On c’mon, this is easy. You find something nice to say about the baby that expressed your sincerity. Ooooo, freshly made baby, nice!” Or “I see he is a nice weight,” or a more honest “His hair is funny! Babies make me laugh!”

    It isnt hard.

  8. #28
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iris lilies View Post
    On c’mon, this is easy. You find something nice to say about the baby that expressed your sincerity. Ooooo, freshly made baby, nice!” Or “I see he is a nice weight,” or a more honest “His hair is funny! Babies make me laugh!”

    It isnt hard.
    Exactly! I think all babies look like boiled monkeys; so I often comment on their smiles, "Looks like such a happy baby!" FB makes it easy because I can click the like button and be done with it. Parents or grandparents are welcome to think I like their baby, but I'm really just glad their boiled monkey is making them happy.

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by iris lilies View Post
    We all have that friend who tells us what we want to hear. And we don’t exactly trust them because that’s not honest.
    Wishy-washy... hate that!

  10. #30
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    I think kindness, like real lovingkindness the way the Buddhists describe is absolutely an important virtue. Kindness is an attitude of compassion and sympathy, and then taking action on it. Like you see someone is sick, you send them a card. That's being kind. It's not insincere flattery. =
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

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