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Thread: "Is it true, is it necessary, is it kind?"

  1. #11
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LDAHL View Post
    This would certainly be a quieter world if this rule was observed.
    I agree--and who gets to decide what is necessary?
    Should we be limited to "Watch out for the car!"
    Talk about the end of discourse.

  2. #12
    Senior Member KayLR's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JaneV2.0 View Post
    I agree--and who gets to decide what is necessary?
    Should we be limited to "Watch out for the car!"
    Talk about the end of discourse.
    Maybe add "Is it worth my energy?"
    My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already!

  3. #13
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    I agree--and who gets to decide what is necessary?
    Should we be limited to "Watch out for the car!"
    Talk about the end of discourse.
    yea by those rules taken literally, it seems to me almost nothing is worth saying, lots of silence I suppose.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  4. #14
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ApatheticNoMore View Post
    yea by those rules taken literally, it seems to me almost nothing is worth saying, lots of silence I suppose.
    A little more silence would probably serve us all well.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
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  5. #15
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    I think "necessary" is too high of a bar. Pleasant conversation is seldom exactly necessary, but I think it helps to make the world a better place.

  6. #16
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    I've always taken this Rumi advice to mean that if you are going to comment to someone, before you open your big mouth, ask yourself "is it necessary, is it true, is it kind."

    I don't think it's about discourse in general. I think it's like:

    Saying to someone when you both are going into a party together, "You should have brought another type of dish" (not necessary: it's too late for that) Or "that dress is not very flattering on you (not kind, unless the person asked for feedback) Or "I've heard that Bob and Marie are involved" (possibly gossip and not true).
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
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  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post
    I've always taken this Rumi advice to mean that if you are going to comment to someone, before you open your big mouth, ask yourself "is it necessary, is it true, is it kind."

    I don't think it's about discourse in general. I think it's like:

    Saying to someone when you both are going into a party together, "You should have brought another type of dish" (not necessary: it's too late for that) Or "that dress is not very flattering on you (not kind, unless the person asked for feedback) Or "I've heard that Bob and Marie are involved" (possibly gossip and not true).
    I like that explanation, Catherine. Another way I try to think of necessary is, will it do any good? And kind, would I want someone to say it to me? If it would embarrass or hurt someone or make them look less than, then no, I would not want someone to do that to me.

  8. #18
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post
    I've always taken this Rumi advice to mean that if you are going to comment to someone, before you open your big mouth, ask yourself "is it necessary, is it true, is it kind."

    I don't think it's about discourse in general. I think it's like:

    Saying to someone when you both are going into a party together, "You should have brought another type of dish" (not necessary: it's too late for that) Or "that dress is not very flattering on you (not kind, unless the person asked for feedback) Or "I've heard that Bob and Marie are involved" (possibly gossip and not true).
    Bob and Marie were my uncle and aunt. Tell me more...

  9. #19
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JaneV2.0 View Post
    Bob and Marie were my uncle and aunt. Tell me more...
    Haha!!! I'll never tell!
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

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    I much prefer to be like Walter.

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