"You missed your calling!"

[iris lilies]

I agree that this may be true for some. Not me, but for some.

The only thing "looking back" has every really done for me has been to show me how/where I am now. "Woulda, shoulda, coulda" may be a fun game to play, but the reality is that my life, the way it is now, is because of the decisions I have made - and I am confident that those decisions have been the BEST decisions for me at the time I needed to make them.

When I look back at life pathways, I never regret taking the path I took. I do, however see the other path and I can see how that could’ve gone well too. I guess I’m lucky in that I always had opportunities where choice A or choice B either one was a pretty good choice.

[JaneV2.0]

Yea if you have an obvious calling follow it. But mostly I would advise a younger me/maybe a younger nearly anyone to not invest so much importance and calling in work, not expect to find *purpose* that way. It will very rarely fulfill it, it's a misdirection, a waste of resources and energy, very few people will find a calling in it, most work is fairly mundane, you might have some aptitude for it though. I mean I can understand how it is kind of what I was raised to believe, but by unfulfilled people anyway (mom was unfulfilled as a mother and uh I don't know what you do then, it affects the child for life, I mean there was palpable resentment). ...

And the thing about bliss is I was raised to see life as anything but following one's bliss, eh I'm not sure that being raised to see life as just about bliss is realistic of course, but kind of all that mattered was doing the right thing.

I agree. For most of us, paid employment is just a ball and chain--unless you're very lucky.
Like IrisLily, I never had the slightest interest in having children, and like ANM, I never got the idea that life was anything about one's "bliss."
I've managed to make a fairly comfortable life for myself, but have no idea what my purpose, if any, might be. I am, however, glad to be here.

[iris lilies]

Well again I am fortunate because I understood from the beginning that life is primarily about following your bliss. That’s what it’s about. And I was lucky because I was super engaged with my work. Until I wasn’t. And then I retired.

[pinkytoe]

I am one of those who still doesn't know what I want to be when I grow up. I never could make a living at the things I was good at (art/design) or the things I love to do (gardening) yet they remain passionate hobbies. In the end, my most satisfying "work" has been raising a child who has turned into a happy, responsible human now raising her own children. My paying job as a university executive assistant fulfilled my love of organizing and planning, allowed me to be around very interesting people/research and has provided me with a good retirement so no regrets really. As I get older, I often think that we all take ourselves way too seriously. A contented life with simple pleasures is all that matters now.

[LDAHL]

Bliss, smiss. I think worrying about whether you’re living your best life is a pretty good way to stay miserable. Plan, sure; but expect to be the butt of a few cosmic jokes along the way. Happiness sneaks up and ambushes you. You don’t hunt it down.

Within reason, I say follow the money and the good stuff comes or it doesn’t in due course, but you will at least have some money. I don’t care how many time PBS airs it. We ain’t heroes and this ain’t a journey.

[happystuff]

Bliss, smiss. I think worrying about whether you’re living your best life is a pretty good way to stay miserable. Plan, sure; but expect to be the butt of a few cosmic jokes along the way. Happiness sneaks up and ambushes you. You don’t hunt it down.

Within reason, I say follow the money and the good stuff comes or it doesn’t in due course, but you will at least have some money. I don’t care how many time PBS airs it. We ain’t heroes and this ain’t a journey.

Disagree with this on so many levels, but if it works for you - yay!

[catherine]

Within reason, I say follow the money and the good stuff comes or it doesn’t in due course, but you will at least have some money. I don’t care how many time PBS airs it. We ain’t heroes and this ain’t a journey.

I couldn't disagree with you more. We get one shot at life. I agree that happiness is something that is not to "pursued" but rather is the result of being grateful and content with what you have. But... to "spend your life doing mundane work as a cog in the wheel and at the end at least you have money"?... that's not how I see it.

I think we ARE heroes. Life IS a journey. Why are we so drawn in by stories like Greek myths, and Superman, and Star Wars, and the Wizard of Oz? We are on our own paths and we strive to see ourselves in Luke Skywalker and Dorothy, and isn't it better to be on our own paths than someone else's?

And taking the journey towards the life I am called to do excites me.. there is NOTHING miserable about the prospect. As Helen Keller said, "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."

I've had a few adventures and I've had to slay a few dragons, but I wouldn't mind another 3rd act trip into the unknown. I can't pack my suitcase fast enough. There is just so much to do!

[happystuff]

I think we ARE heroes.

This reminded me of a line from one of my favorite songs:

"And heroes don't look like they used to
They look like you do"


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tXzlVjU1xs

[ApatheticNoMore]

If you have to see yourself as a hero very well, get on with that. But yea it strikes me as pretty pretentious most of the time as well. I'm not all about money, but I do appreciate money more with time, but maybe that has to do with getting singed a few times by jobs and the job market and the harshness of it all.

(Meanwhile Hellen Keller's shrink tells her she has an issue with black and white thinking.)

[happystuff]

If you have to see yourself as a hero very well, get on with that.

Speaking only for myself, I don't see myself as a hero... I see others as heroes.

Whether you see yourself as a hero or not, someone else may see you as one.