That’s sad IL to ruin relationships with siblings over money. Ugh!!
That’s sad IL to ruin relationships with siblings over money. Ugh!!
A friend's young daughter's co-worker told her she had better enjoy decorated Christmas trees now, because when President-elect Biden gets into office, he's going to abolish Christmas. Do people really believe this kind of thing?
I would think not, this sounds like a combination of kidding and gullibility.Originally Posted by JaneV2.0
"Things should be made as simple as possible, but not one bit simpler." ~ Albert Einstein
What a cool idea!
I agree that the oldsters shouldn’t have the expectation that their heirs carry-on the physical property forever, but try telling that to an oldster. And I don’t even mean for significant assets like this family farm, I mean for all of the moms out there who want to leave their children a piece of property, their family home. “Mom’s house” inherited by a gang of children creates discord or even havoc. And generates business for attorneys.
There is a wonderful TV show made in Israel called Shtisel. It is a family drama. They treated this exact topic realistically and in a moving way. No matter how old you are, it hurts when mommy loves your brother better. It airs on
Netflix thru December 15.
No offense, IL, but I don't know if I need that kind of Shtisel right now.
haha good one!
and umm, I have not spilled beans about my father in law’s wishes about who he wanted to get the most stuff (but that did not go forth due to Reasons) and I have to say, the siblings minus one are handling it nicely.
This is not a serious problem in my family (yet) with regards to what DH and I dole out for the kids, but we do get wind of feelings now and then. I know that at least 2 of my kids don't like us renting our family home to our son. Just yesterday my daughter was asking (nicely)--so you're not covering your mortgage with their rent, right? (Subtext: You're giving them a couple of hundred free and clear every month, right?). And my musician son will say "Oh, and X__ went to __ University, and Y__'s a lawyer." (Subtext: You paid for their education, but I didn't go to college so why don't I get money to pursue my music?).
I feel I've done the best I can and will continue to do the best I can to make things as fair as possible but it's not easy because you're dealing not just with money in dollar amounts but with what these gifts symbolize.
I do worry about what will happen when DH and I are both gone with regards to our new family home in VT. My musician son who is unmarried spends a ton of time up here, loves it with a passion, and he was the one who pushed us to put an offer on it. The others love it but they have families and are not quite as emotionally involved. So, what happens to the house then? Do we split it among all the kids? Do we give the son who loves it right of refusal to sell?
IL, I think you've really hit on a real issue when it comes to estates. Food for thought.
"Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
www.silententry.wordpress.com
A good friend of mine had a father that had a nice home on a Wisconsin lake. He left it to his 6 kids. 30 years later they still own it. For many years they rented it to school teachers for cheaper rent with the provision they had to vacate for the month of July. The siblings would all come to visit and see each other for how ever long they could. Now my friend lives in it in retirement. They have had zero issues. This is probably rare.
I have set it up that everything get split equally, I hope it is clear as I have explained it to family. I have very few items of any value, by choice. Sell my house and divide the proceeds of the sale and any remaining assets. Anything not wanted can go to the dumpster.
As Cicero said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”
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