This is a question about disharmony within a family of adult siblings who are dealing with end stages of life with both parents.
The facility my folks are in reached out to me this week to recommend my dad enter hospice, as he now his prostate cancer has returned with mets to the spine. He has gone on new medication and appears to be tolerating it.
Siblings do not agree about hospice. I am only one who wants it, and I want it badly. Sibling who is in charge of his health proxy does not think "it's time." Sibling who is actually there taking him to doctors says he cannot have it because he won't be able to get treatment. I told facility that family would not agree and dad wanted to fight but that with the spinal mets, what used to be considered curative treatment might be reclassified as palliative quality of life issues due to issues like incontinence and potential loss of ability to walk.
Siblings are angry this was suggested, angry that facility talked to me about it, and not going to agree to anything. Meanwhile, facility now shut down again to indoor visits and only him going on hospice would allow us to visit.
I am really upset and feel angry and shut out of decision making. I also feel very worried about my dad as facility feels strongly he needs hospice. Siblings have decided he doesn't.
Any good ideas on how to handle this?