It shouldn't be as complicated as it is.
I like the ideas of a burial tree as described in Returning to Earth by Jim Harrison or sky burial, both Native American practices that are now outlawed although sky burial is successfully practiced elsewhere by Parsis and Tibetans.
A special interest lobby has convinced our government that the practices original to our continent are wrong and must be replaced by expensive and in many cases toxic practices. Even with a growing Muslim population green burial, which does not use toxic chemicals, is rarely allowed.
People usually don't get to wash and wrap their dead, which was common in colonial times, or to hold wakes in the home of the deceased, also once the norm. An industry has taken over a key milestone, and government allows them and them only to sign off on how we exit this world.
I hope you are able to find simplicity and peace as you make these plans.