Urging Mom to get dressed every day

[rosarugosa]

My mother has never been much for strong routines like I am, and I feel like this is making the Alzheimer's challenge a little more challenging. Lately we've been having a little bit of friction on the subject of getting up and dressed every day. She really hates the winter and the cold, and would really just as soon stay in bed reading all day. She understands that she should not do this because it causes issues for her, primarily constipation if she isn't up and moving about. So she does get up and about within her house, but is inclined to stay in her bathrobe and pajamas all day if she isn't going anywhere. I've been pushing her to get dressed because this is what heathy adults do (at least most of the time), and I feel that the more these healthy routines/ADLs are "muscle memory" for her, the longer she will retain these abilities. She keeps her house at a toasty 78 degrees, and the house is well-insulated and very warm.
I would like some input as to whether it is appropriate to urge her to get dressed each day, or if I am just being needlessly annoying to my poor confused old mother.
She is still early AD, and it is possible to have reasonable conversations with her. She still lives alone, and it is in the best interests of my mother and those of us who love her to keep her as independent as possible for as long as possible.

[catherine]

Uh oh. I'm still in my pajamas (11:26am on the East Coast).

I am not an expert in Alzheimer's by a long shot, and I can certainly understand the value of keeping to daily routines. If the argument/discussion is causing her stress, maybe that's not a good thing. OTOH, it would probably be better for her to get dressed. Can you find out why she doesn't want to get dressed? Are her day clothes uncomfortable? Is it a struggle to decide what to wear? Maybe if you arrange a comfortable "uniform" for her to wear every day, she'll be more motivated to dress.

I'm off to get myself dressed now!

[iris lilies]

This is why loungewear exists. Sleep in it. Walk out to get mail in it. Go to the grocery store in it.

I think you have two separate issues. What she’s wearing, and getting up and moving.

I wouldn’t argue with the first one, I would see if she is open to abandoning “pajamas and robe” to wear loungewear to wear all the time.

The second one is important. moving, getting circulation going. That may be worth a fight. But in the end you have to ask yourself how much minutia of her life you can/will manage. Maybe this is not worth your life energy.

[Alan]

Uh oh. I'm still in my pajamas (11:26am on the East Coast).

12:54 Eastern time here and I'm still in pajama bottoms and a tee shirt. I guess I'd better get dressed too before going out to check the mail.

[JaneV2.0]

I'm with Iris Lily on this--completely. There are days I don't want to struggle to put on more "formal" clothes--thank heavens for loungewear.

[Teacher Terry]

Once my dad had a massive stroke he decided he was done with getting dressed. He wore pajamas for 14 years until he died. No one waited on him so he was forced to move around.

[Tradd]

Definitely agree on getting your mom some different clothes if needed.

Heck, my boss (work from home and his own company) told me he often works in his bathrobe in the winter.

[Simplemind]

You're lucky you can still have reasonable conversations. My mom got to the point where she wasn't changing her clothes and she had previously been quite the clothes horse. She had never been one for jammies so she was actually sleeping on the couch in her clothes. I was going out on the pretense of helping out with the laundry and in the beginning could talk her out of her clothes and set new ones out. It became tense in trying to talk her into a shower between clothing changes.
Changing or stopping daily routines were always a way to tell when the level of cognitive ability had dropped off with both of my parents. My dad always got up to build a fire in the morning and wind the clocks. I knew we were in new territory when I would come into a cold quiet house. The clothing was a biggie with him too. He would tell me he didn't need to change them because they weren't getting dirty.

[herbgeek]

My mom gets dressed every day, but sometimes its the same thing 5 days in a row - according to my sister. I see her once a week. I don't think she's taking a shower that frequently though and certainly not washing her hair because her dry hair is greasy when I see it at least 80% of the time. I struggle with saying something- my sister will tell her to take a shower before doctor visits, but it is worth the hassle of reminding her when there really isn't any place she has to be? She is in huge denial that she has any problems whatsoever, and will often start crying and lashing out when reminded of her [incontinence, lack of shower, needs to brush her teeth], so I tend not to say much. What's the point? Its not like she is going to change. She no longer cares about her appearance for the few friends left, and they know she has dementia anyways. Its really me who's embarrassed- to see a formerly really proud woman not be able to care anymore. What's funny is that she still notices OTHER old people and will comment on their lack of grooming but doesn't see it in herself/doesn't care herself.

[frugal-one]

My mom gets dressed every day, but sometimes its the same thing 5 days in a row - according to my sister. I see her once a week. I don't think she's taking a shower that frequently though and certainly not washing her hair because her dry hair is greasy when I see it at least 80% of the time. I struggle with saying something- my sister will tell her to take a shower before doctor visits, but it is worth the hassle of reminding her when there really isn't any place she has to be? She is in huge denial that she has any problems whatsoever, and will often start crying and lashing out when reminded of her [incontinence, lack of shower, needs to brush her teeth], so I tend not to say much. What's the point? Its not like she is going to change. She no longer cares about her appearance for the few friends left, and they know she has dementia anyways. Its really me who's embarrassed- to see a formerly really proud woman not be able to care anymore. What's funny is that she still notices OTHER old people and will comment on their lack of grooming but doesn't see it in herself/doesn't care herself.

Depression too?