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Thread: Safe Places and Current Attitudes

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    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    Safe Places and Current Attitudes

    I sometimes search different forums and try them out. Some places are truly unpleasant places. On the opposite extreme are forums that are so focused on being safe places that they decide many subjects and words are ďtriggering ď and unsafe to talk about unless itís hidden and you have to click on it. I really donít understand people being harmed by starting to read something. If you find it disturbing why not just stop reading. Itís mostly people under 40 and makes me wonder how such people function in the world. My kids and my friends adult kids arenít like that. Are we creating a generation of special snowflakes or are these people just in the minority? Opinions?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
    I sometimes search different forums and try them out. Some places are truly unpleasant places. On the opposite extreme are forums that are so focused on being safe places that they decide many subjects and words are “triggering “ and unsafe to talk about unless it’s hidden and you have to click on it. I really don’t understand people being harmed by starting to read something. If you find it disturbing why not just stop reading. It’s mostly people under 40 and makes me wonder how such people function in the world. My kids and my friends adult kids aren’t like that. Are we creating a generation of special snowflakes or are these people just in the minority? Opinions?
    My first thought is that it's like a train wreck or accident - one just has to "look".

    Staying on the same forum for a long time, sometimes TOO nasty or the same subjects over and over again are just tiresome - not necessarily safe or unsafe - just tiresome. New topics, fresh discussions, different ideas/perspectives are sometimes hard to come by when it's just the same old posters, topics, ideas, etc. going around and round. I sometimes liken forums to soap operas... you can stop watching for a year and, except for a new affair, death or baby, it's the same old story.
    To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer." Mahatma Gandhi
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    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by happystuff View Post
    My first thought is that it's like a train wreck or accident - one just has to "look".

    Staying on the same forum for a long time, sometimes TOO nasty or the same subjects over and over again are just tiresome - not necessarily safe or unsafe - just tiresome. New topics, fresh discussions, different ideas/perspectives are sometimes hard to come by when there it's just the same old posters, topics, ideas, etc. going around and round. I sometimes liken forums to soap operas... you can stop watching for a year and, except for a new affair, death or baby, it's the same old story.
    haha, so true! Good analogy.

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    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Yes the snowflake attitude rather I should say the attitude of “snowflakes “is concerning and annoying to me. On the other hand, there is a sincere effort in recent times to combat any hint of racism and other isms in social media because it is considered supportive if you stay mum and allow someone their words that convey an ism.

    While I understand the sentiment to eradicate all isms, I don’t think it’s at all practical to think we can cleanse the digital world because there’s too much interpretation to give to someone’s words. And in that radical cleanup of any unacceptable words will come the disappearance of many other sentiments expressed in social media.


    Free-speech and support of same is an important value to me and so I very much want us to lean on the side of allowing all kinds of speech. Even if it hurt someone’s feelings. But especially, if it is perceived it *might* hurt someone else’s feelings. See, this is where much of the cancel culture comes from—these self appointed heroes of the internet feel they must cleanse it for others. Weaker, trodd-upon others.

    Part of my job at the public library was to receive complaints about library materials. A fair number of them were initiated from a place of “I am not hurt by this material but someone else may be hurt, someone who is weaker/younger/blacker/ than me. “

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    Senior Member KayLR's Avatar
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    I've noticed it among the younger. Everything is scrutinized for shaming, triggering, bullying and fearmongering. If you don't agree with someone, you are accused of one of the above. There is no discourse unless you agree with them.

    I'm only halfway kidding when I say I think it's because of participation trophies. It's interesting in my own family; the older daughter is pretty laid-back, can filter BS and go with the flow. She can take criticism. The younger flies off the handle at any. little. thing.

    editing to add: I really hate that "triggering" reference. I think it takes away from true PTSD sufferers, who, unless I am mistaken, are the ones who originated that phrase.

    Now, it's simply a term people (snowflakes) use when they are called out, embarrassed, or uncomfortable with a disagreement.
    My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already!

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    I don't relate to the snowflakes, I'm pretty seriously liberal , but that is really not my crowd, and I think never really will be as a Gen Xer. It would be arrogant and presumptuous to assume how many millennials, Gen Z it really represents though.

    I think it could be looked at historically as far as internet goes, the early (and yet available to the public with their dialup modems, I'm not talking early early) internet was an incredibly brutal downright abusive bullying place, oh sure the internet had and has good sides, but it seriously was. So it might be some kind of extreme overreaction in the other direction. Both of which are extreme and neither of which I have ever really related to, neither the bullying nor the censorship.

    But anyway some seem so lost in their own world, so happy that everything is much more progressive in some ways these days, but so oblivious to how much better say the economy was then (and I remember) than now where it is so merciless. This is "progressive" slavery. Ah well.

    If I wanted new ideas I don't think internet forums are where I'd look, nor blog comments nor etc., I'd read a book or something. What I get from reading other peoples commentary about things sometimes is to refine (not change most of the time) my thinking, but much is just shooting the breeze. I do find out where to buy tiolet paper online though
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

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    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    Yeah, the whole situation is pretty lame. Oh wait--I can't use "lame" because it might inadvertently offend someone who doesn't understand that words can have more than one meaning.

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    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JaneV2.0 View Post
    Yeah, the whole situation is pretty lame. Oh wait--I can't use "lame" because it might inadvertently offend someone who doesn't understand that words can have more than one meaning.
    I would bet 10 to 1 that the vast majority of people under the age of 50 do not know the word “ Lame “meant differently abled at one time.

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    Senior Member bae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
    I really don’t understand people being harmed by starting to read something. If you find it disturbing why not just stop reading. ... My kids and my friends adult kids aren’t like that. ... Opinions?
    Well.

    If you haven't been traumatized by something, it is perhaps difficult to understand how things that retrigger memories/experiences of that trauma might cause issues in those who have.

    I work with victims of sexual assault. At some stages in their healing journey, they are quite vulnerable to being triggered and sent to a difficult mental/emotional place by things that might not even be noticed by someone who hasn't been impacted by such abuse.

    Or consider those with PTSD from combat and loud noises/fireworks/whatnot.

    Or, anecdotally, I find myself far more impacted by scenes of violence and bloody injury now that I've been on hundreds of 911 calls and had people die in my hands.

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    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bae View Post
    Well.

    If you haven't been traumatized by something, it is perhaps difficult to understand how things that retrigger memories/experiences of that trauma might cause issues in those who have.

    I work with victims of sexual assault. At some stages in their healing journey, they are quite vulnerable to being triggered and sent to a difficult mental/emotional place by things that might not even be noticed by someone who hasn't been impacted by such abuse.

    Or consider those with PTSD from combat and loud noises/fireworks/whatnot.

    Or, anecdotally, I find myself far more impacted by scenes of violence and bloody injury now that I've been on hundreds of 911 calls and had people die in my hands.
    Sure, but the question is how much does the greater network of social media have to be sanitized for the very small percentage that have been severely traumatized, and then re-traumatized By something they read on the website.We can’t keep the world safe for people like that.

    We cannot keep the world safe for everyone if their “safety” is defined by never being concerned, upset, or traumatized by what they read. Certainly the government can’t keep everyone safe.

    I suppose trigger warnings are OK as long as it’s not done excessively. Almost everything I listen to is adult content so they all have trigger warnings or warnings of sex, strong language, drinking, smoking,. OK whatever I don’t even see those warnings anymore, they’re ubiquitous
    Last edited by iris lilies; 12-10-20 at 7:27pm.

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