Smallest Space Lived in Happily

[Tradd]

Regardless of the sucky reasons, I think a lot of us older women should think about a time when we will be on our own since many of us outlive our partners. I have been doing so a lot lately since I have been cooped up with DH during this past year I would opt for the slightly larger space but as someone earlier posted "one cannot plan for all eventualities that might occur." I think the smallest space I have lived in was 700 sf and that was more than sufficient but it had a large outdoor porch.

I already am on my own. What’s important to me is a ground floor unit with no steps, due to my knees. I will never live in a upper floor unit again.

[iris lilies]

Right now, my 550 sq ft condo with no in unit balcony on the second floor is less space than I want for a single domicile for me, a single person.

I have long thought, though, that my city house’s first floor plus basement would be everything I would want as a single person at this stage of my life. It is about 800 sq ft. It would need to be arranged differently, of course, with a bedroom instead of a breakfast nook. The basement is for laundry and storage of flower show stuff. We have a huge patio and and big yard. I wouldn’t want this big of a yard in my 80’s though.

[catherine]

I already am on my own. What’s important to me is a ground floor unit with no steps, due to my knees. I will never live in a upper floor unit again.

One of the things that precipitated my MIL moving to NJ was when she literally couldn't get downstairs. She had an episode of gout. My BIL was helpless as ever--we had to tell him to call 911. When I think of aging in place in my Vermont house, I'm pretty comfortable with it, as I can easily build a ramp if I needed to. Four steps are needed to enter the house. My NJ had no steps getting into the house, and we could have very easily set up our first floor "bonus room" as a master bedroom.

Maybe naively I keep thinking of my great-aunt and grandmother who, in their 80s and 90s, were climbing up and down many stairs every day--to get to the car as well as to go to bed. Boy, I hope I have their genes.

[Teacher Terry]

My mom did steps until her cancer got bad before she died. Her sister lives alone at 96 but can’t do steps due to a bad knee. Any condo building I consider will have a elevator since I want to be on a higher floor. I also have to have a outdoor patio or balcony. 6 months out of the year I can be outside and I love to read outside, visit with friends, etc. I am outside so much that I have a patio heater. I will have to leave it behind and it will never get used.

[iris lilies]

TT I am glad your DH is buying out your part of the house, if I understand the situation correctly.


That is such a freedom for you and now you can entirely focus on a new place to live and you don’t have to think about cleaning out your house and putting it on the market. Ugh, a lot of work!

I hope a suitable condo comes up in the market for you soon.

[Teacher Terry]

Thanks IL. Yes he can get a big enough mortgage to buy me out. Because we have no debt besides the mortgage his payment will be 50% of his take home pay. It’s way cheaper than rent but dumb. He could buy a small condo and have money leftover. He is bad with money so it won’t be good but not my problem. The fact that he packed for a week and it didn’t make a dent is telling. I know it would have fallen to me and my son to do everything for a sale. I am so relieved to just take my stuff and go. My son is happy because he would have cut his trip short to help me. He is supportive and willing to do anything to help. I don’t need help now as I am packing and hiring movers.

Surprisingly I don’t even feel bad about the loss of a marriage because of not only the repeated cheating but the laziness, hoarding, having to literally do all the work. I actually feel relieved although if not for the cheating I would have continued to suck it up. My kids used to really like him and now not so much. I will miss the ability to have someone to do things with spontaneously versus planning. However, I am comfortable doing things alone.

[nswef]

Teacher Terry, I am sorry for the loss of a marriage, and so glad that you are able to leave without having to deal with the house, you can feel relief that you can make a life the way you want it. You will find a good place. Sending you best wishes and calming thoughts.

[Teacher Terry]

Thanks Nswef. This is my third. I divorced my first husband because after 3 years we were constantly fighting and had a baby. He was too immature to get married. Interestingly for someone that was a crappy dad he ended up in 3 marriages, 6 kids and was a alcoholic. He killed himself at 37 when he relapsed and lost his job. Stayed with my controlling and verbally abusive second husband for 22 years until the kids were adults. He didn’t want the divorce and told me he learned from that divorce and treats his wife very differently. She is the controlling, bitchy person in that marriage.

Now at 23 years it didn’t work again. None of this is for lack of trying and dragging husbands to therapy to improve things. If anything I have persevered. The final straw for my first marriage was him cheating and I immediately left. Looking back I should have done that the first time in this marriage.

[JaneV2.0]

My mom did steps until her cancer got bad before she died. Her sister lives alone at 96 but can’t do steps due to a bad knee. Any condo building I consider will have a elevator since I want to be on a higher floor. I also have to have a outdoor patio or balcony. 6 months out of the year I can be outside and I love to read outside, visit with friends, etc. I am outside so much that I have a patio heater. I will have to leave it behind and it will never get used.

Is the heater that large? Most condos have outlets on their balconies.
I've considered elevator buildings, but they're not that common in this area. I've never felt unsafe anyplace I've lived, though.

[razz]

Just a thought - ground floor condos have both ready stair-free access and often patios, do they not? So, what would it take to give a sense of security? The reason that I raise this question? I installed roll-up shutter on my patio door and LR window to reduce the heat from the west sun. They also make a big difference when the temps are really cold. I was surprised how much more secure I felt when I rolled them down at night. That was an unexpected bonus that I would repeat if I have to move in the future. https://rollac.com/products/rolling-shutters/

I had seen a variation of them in Greece and wished that I could find them in Canada. Then I found the right phrase to Google - roll-up shutter - I found that there are a lot of them available for all seasons. Condo associations may have some directions for their use, of course.