I want to be killed instantly at age 90 in a head on crash with the other driver at fault and a big insurance payout to my family.
I want to be killed instantly at age 90 in a head on crash with the other driver at fault and a big insurance payout to my family.
These sad situations highlight the importance of getting things in writing through POAs or other documents before decline sets in. It at least provides a degree of confidence in what the parent wanted while they were still thinking clearly. At very least, it can reduce the level of disagreement among siblings, etc. about how to proceed.
So you want to seriously injure or kill another person? Nice.Originally Posted by Yppej
MIL had to be dragged kicking and screaming from her house to assisted living. She was falling down weekly and totally dependent on her daughter who lived an hour away to get her groceries and take her to doctor appts. Daughter finally had enough. She would not agree to in-home health care, ie strangers in her house. I guess stubbornness sets in at some point in addition to physical and/or mental decline.
From what I've seen I suspect a lot of these homes just pretty much kill people anyway. Of course maybe at a certain point that's for the best, shrug.
Anyway they cost money that most people may not have anyway. I don't think it's that easy to get Medicaid to pay.
Trees don't grow on money
The final month or so of my step-father's life in the care facility nearly bankrupted my father. Combined with the loss of income from step-dad's death, he basically has become homeless - he sold his home just today.
My Dad did "everything right" - he had savings, some home equity, didn't live a luxurious lifestyle.
If he had no family, he'd be doomed.
I wont Debate the specifics of your father’s situation since I don’t know them, but if he has some home equity, a car that’s paid for, and some income, he’s not doomed with destitution. Apparently his partner had much bigger income that afforded your dad a nicer lifestyle than he can afford on his own income.
We have that scenario in my household. DH has SS income of around $25,000. I have income of $56,000. When I die, my income stream disappears. When I go to the nursing home, my income will cover about half-the cost and I will pull half from first, my assets, then from our joint assets.
Fortunately, DH has healthy assets in his name only, and then our joint assets are healthy. And then, he has his family farm that he can sell! Only by then there will be so many owners tangled up in it, it will be impossible to sell. But that is completely his problem.
When I get old...
I know of an old timer who is fond of saying, "Don't complain; it only gets worse".
I understand that Yppej has a brother living in with their declining mother. I would suggest it is important for the mother to be informed about her condition... with the evaluation to come from objective health professionals. With information about her condition, I assume she would be able to make decisions about her life purpose, and what would be best for her. Her sons (and other family) may have needs and wants, but I do not see their needs and wants taking priority over her own sense of what would be best for herself. Within the family it is an occasion for (non-violent) communication.
Dad's household went from two Social Security incomes, and a moderate pension, to a single Social Security income and a lot of medical and care bills.
He's left with about $20k/year in Social Security, and will leave his home with about $100k in equity after transaction fees. He cannot afford his current mortgage on his modest condo where he currently lives in California, along with food and healthcare and health insurance, without spending down that $100k in capital.
He's 79. Men in his family line live to their mid-to-late 90s. So he has to make that last say 16 years. I don't think that's quite possible, unless he moves to someplace super cheap and reduces his medical coverage.
The medical costs and care facility fees of the past months wiped out their extra capital, putting him considerably below the median net worth for his age range ($265k).
MIL's assisted living place is low to moderately priced at around $7000 a month for that type of facility. The food which is usually her primary joy is horrible - like school cafeteria food. She and FIL, now deceased, placed great importance on leaving something "for the kids" but it looks like she will easily spend it down in a few more years. She lays in bed and watches TV all day. The upside I guess is that she is relatively safe there and not quite the handful as before.
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