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Thread: After the last year , What I learned

  1. #11
    Senior Member SteveinMN's Avatar
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    After a year, I've:

    - learned how to cut my own hair without looking like I did;
    - rearranged meals -- shopping only every two weeks requires making a priority of using the fragile foods (spinach, fresh fish, etc.) first and makes for some odd combinations toward the end of the two weeks to use up stuff and substitute for what we no longer have stocked;
    - adjusted our budget to just getting whatever it is rather than making another stop (or, worse, another trip) to get something elsewhere. It's great that item X that we use a lot of is on sale at store Z, but if I can get X at store Y and not expose myself to another bunch of people and surfaces, so be it;
    - gotten too comfortable with the world I can see from my laptop, which grew to include lectures and concerts and friend gatherings I would have preferred to attend in person;
    - grown to like using pandemic rules as a get-out-of-jail-free card for social commitments I don't want to attend;
    - seen that too many people don't seem to much value the effort of first-line workers (doctors, nurses, grocery store cashiers, cable TV repair people) despite talk of "heroes" and all. I know there's a gray line between keeping people employed and keeping them safe but I think folks who can isolate themselves for the most part don't think enough of what they're asking those who can't.
    Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome. - Booker T. Washington

  2. #12
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    I love your list, Steve. I don't know if it's related to COVID, or to my particular stage of life, but COVID has given me a blank canvas, which I've tried to take advantage of. I've tried to eliminate all unnecessary activity. Of course, 3/4 of that is mandated through state laws, but 1/4 is also a self-imposed vacuum between myself and "busyness."

    I'm trying to see myself as the blank canvas I was when I was a child, and put to rest other beliefs about myself that I thought were true, so I can concentrate on figuring out what I'm called to do in the 3rd act of my life.

    Had COVID not happened, not sure I would have had this luxury of downtime for introspection and soul-searching.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
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  3. #13
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    Very insightful, Cath.
    As Cicero said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”

  4. #14
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    The one practical skill I’ve learned is how to use the Instacart app for online grocery shopping and pickup.

    I have learned that their product list does not cover everything in the store, cannot buy a 5 lb bag of carrots. Some of the descriptions are wrong so I end up with strawberry flavored cream cheese ick. The substitutions game is time consuming. Pickup has gone smoothly only one time out of 5.

    But I do like the way I can use the cart as a grocery list. And then, the system keeps a record of products I have purchased which is usually good, but sometimes bad.

  5. #15
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    I learned that I will probably alternate grocery trips between different stores to always get everything I want eventually, but only hit one store a week. Mind you there is a TJs within a block of work so I would probably make exceptions for TJ runs were I there and the pandemic over - because it's just so easy.

    There is a fine line between soul searching and depression with me, but so it goes, time to reflect and to ruminate and regret. But I do like more time, I may even like hermitage, I may even like being a bit low as without any hopes or expectations, but it can get too much. Have I mentioned this was one crappy year. :P

    Considering line-cook was one of the mostly dangerous jobs in the pandemic, as I learned recently, the most risk one asked of others is when they ordered delivery or take out maybe. But at a certain point it became inevitably clear we were never going to do a ZeroCovid policy, no matter how much anyone may have wanted it (and keeping things closed polled well), it was never actually in the cards, and so one lived even the very limited life they did.
    Trees don't grow on money

  6. #16
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ApatheticNoMore View Post
    time to reflect and to ruminate and regret.
    No regrets, ANM. I have them, too. But what's the point on ruminating on them? I acknowledge to myself that I screwed up on some things, but I make up for it with other things, and I can always redeem myself. I have gotten very liberal at forgiving myself over the past few years. I'm not sure I agree with Edith Piaf "non, je ne regrette rien" but I am getting better at putting it behind me and moving on. That's what the 2020 experience has given me. A chance to put into a fuzzy background the meaningless vestiges of my belief system about myself and bring into clarity what I am and can be moving forward.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  7. #17
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Catherine, these thoughts are expressed in a lovely way. Cool.

  8. #18
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    Amazon Fresh and Whole Foods delivery both have large bags of carrots--I have five pounds of organic carrots on my list as I type. You might alternate among providers to get what you want.

  9. #19
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    Some people count sheep--I count Mistakes I Have Made as I nod off.

    I have raised being an underachiever to an art form, so I have regrets, too.

    But, as Catherine points out, what's the point of dwelling on every flaw and shortcoming?

    This life has been a bye, but I hope I can bring what I've learned--if even subconsciously--into a more notable next life. If not, I've bungled along as best I could, given an uncooperative body, so I'm at peace with who I am.

  10. #20
    Senior Member KayLR's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post

    I'm trying to see myself as the blank canvas I was when I was a child, and put to rest other beliefs about myself that I thought were true, so I can concentrate on figuring out what I'm called to do in the 3rd act of my life.
    Yes! This articulates perfectly what I have been feeling anxious about for the past year. Looming retirement, quashing of friend and family socializing, inherent depression, and adult child estrangement--they're all playing havoc on my concentration.

    And, like you say, I do have more time to calm myself and think.
    My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already!

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