Selfish

[Tiam]

I haven't read through this entire thread but I can easily say that it always bothers me when people tell me that suicide is selfish.

[iris lilies]

I haven't read through this entire thread but I can easily say that it always bothers me when people tell me that suicide is selfish.

I have what you might think is an impossibly conflicted point of view about suicide but it is this: it is a terrible act that is selfish because it is devastating for those left behind. But that doesn't mean it is wrong. It still may be the best choice.

[catherine]

Re suicide is selfish..

I was set straight by a friend of mine whose brother and daughter both committed suicide. She said that sometimes the pain of living leaves some people in a place where they see no other choice. OTOH, could it be selfish for those left behind to hold onto them and refuse to let them go? Of course, it's a tragedy all around, especially for surviving children, but is it really selfish?

[iris lilies]

Re suicide is selfish..

I was set straight by a friend of mine whose brother and daughter both committed suicide. She said that sometimes the pain of living leaves some people in a place where they see no other choice. OTOH, could it be selfish for those left behind to hold onto them and refuse to let them go? Of course, it's a tragedy all around, especially for surviving children, but is it really selfish?

I have a continuing problem with these labels such as “selfish” and why does it really matter? Who cares if anyone calls me selfish? Certainly I lead a self centered life. Is that selfish? Maybe it is, overall. So what?


So what does it matter what we as a society or what Catherine or what Tiam calls someone committing suicide? Or what we call a family member of a person who committed suicide? It’s just a pejorative word. Just a word.

reducing such a shattering action to just a word is so limiting. Those left behind have such pain, and any words that allow them to process their pain seem ok to me.

[happystuff]

Maybe "choosing death" (versus choosing life) is a better alternative to "suicide"?

I find it interesting, for instance, that the act of a soldier who throws himself on a grenade, possibly to save others, is heroic but it's not considered "suicide". I guess maybe it is where one draws the line.

[Teacher Terry]

Throwing yourself on a grenade sacrifices one person to save many lives. Committing suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

[bae]

I will say, as a first responder who has to deal with suicides and suicide attempts far too often, please consider the horror and trauma you will be causing others... And if you then decide to proceed, think it through and be polite about it.

[iris lilies]

Throwing yourself on a grenade sacrifices one person to save many lives. Committing suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Hmmm I don’t think debilitating, unrelenting, life altering depression is “ a temporary problem.”


I also think the medical community, as much as it likes to think it’s so advanced, along with the community of therapists and mental health experts, thinks they can accomplish more than they can. Sure sometimes treatment results in a great improvement. Sometimes it doesn’t. There is no one-size-fits-all.

[happystuff]

Throwing yourself on a grenade sacrifices one person to save many lives. Committing suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

I see what you are saying, but I think it is more of a grey area. While I don't think suicide is an answer in most cases, the act is, obviously, an individual's decision to make or not. The loss of a loved one - regardless of the how's and why's - is always painful for those remaining.

[catherine]

Yes, a tragedy all around. Then there's the survivor guilt. I've posted before about my DIL whose ex-husband invited her to lunch the day after she told him she was marrying my son, and when she went to his house for lunch he had wrapped a plastic bag around his head, intentionally staged so that she would be the one to find him. So, to use bae's term, I don't think that was a very polite way to do it. The poor girl has to live with that.