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Thread: Estate settled

  1. #1
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Estate settled

    DH’s father died December 2018. The estate was settled this week. 2 1/2 years it took. It is true that Covid slowed down much of the action, but a recalcitrant sibling slowed things down quite a bit and took the estate to court to get things to be “fair”. So when this sibling won the big challenge in court, that actually meant that DH got more money. A victory of sorts.

    The sibling ended up with about $1700 more than if there had been no court action. Attorney fees would’ve been more than that so I cannot see this as a “win”. The sibling was operating as though my father-in-law intended to distribute everything evenly among all of his children, and those carrying out the estate thwarted his wishes.

    But here’s the big secret—the old man had a second will. The second will did not distribute things evenly at all.The second will would have damaged the angry sibling as it left most of the siblings with less and it favored one child. The challenging sibling has no idea about this 2nd will simply because this person didnt bother to attend family meetings, help clean out the house, etc.

    The Second will was never executed. The old man’s attorney knew about it Since he wrote the preliminary document, but the attorney said the 2nd will was never finalized.

    So here’s the angry sibling dancing around trying to make everything fair because that’s what daddy wanted. Only daddy didn’t really want that, necessarily. It is theorized that their father had too much dementia at the end to finish the second will that favored one child over the others.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Tradd's Avatar
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    What drama! Glad it’s over!

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    Senior Member bae's Avatar
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    Congrats! I know the pain of these things all too well, and you have my sympathies.

  4. #4
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    Even with siblings agreeing, it is a blessed day when all is finally settled.

    Dad's second wife started to contest what the 3 kids were doing. What she did not know is that we would have been fine with a four way split. But when we got our own attorney for the estate because she hired one first, it was found that our Mom's earlier death had made the trust irrevocable and all that was in the trust was to only go to the 3 kids. She was protecting us from Dad.

    Stepmom would have gotten more from us if we all had been able to work together. (Note: I think it was a lot of grief and fear that worked on her but my brother's wife added to the issue by calling her a gold digger)

  5. #5
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    Disappointed heirs.

    "Man has an infinite capacity to be miserable about an infinite number of things."

  6. #6
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    Whew! Done! My kids tease me about this favourite saying to the point that they do the same when a big job is finished. I always say, "Done!" and that is the end of the whole issue and its discussion.
    As Cicero said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”

  7. #7
    Senior Member SteveinMN's Avatar
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    I'm glad for you that that drama has ended. Death and leftover belongings sure make people weird.
    Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome. - Booker T. Washington

  8. #8
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    Sweetana, so did stepmom end up with nothing then?

  9. #9
    Senior Member Yppej's Avatar
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    Glad his first world problem is over. I expect no inheritance and life may not be easier that way - generational wealth is a real benefit - but it saves you a different type of stress.

  10. #10
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    Teacher Terry, no she got what California designates for a spouse outside of the trust which is pretty straightforward. He had already told her she could not afford to keep the farm so that was not much of an issue. She got a nice chunk to live on and had income outside of the estate. He had bank accounts and such outside the trust. We did not contest any of that and were totally blindsided by the way the trust was written. Parents were very secretive all their lives and I dont even think Dad knew exactly what happened to the trust on Mom's death.

    PS: I would have been fine if Dad left me nothing. Not something I based my life or decisions on. Wished he had used more of it for himself but he seemed happy with the way he was living.

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