Word for not-spouse?

[LDAHL]

Colleague? Co-conspirator? Accomplice? Associate? Fellow traveler?

[razz]

Perhaps a better question to ask yourself - what do I want to convey about this relationship, why, when and to whom? That may guide you to the most appropriate usage for you.

[jp1]

Perhaps a better question to ask yourself - what do I want to convey about this relationship, why, when and to whom? That may guide you to the most appropriate usage for you.

Yes. Good friend would be an accurate description of SO. But using that phrase would not describe our relationship in 3 seconds to a random person that doesn’t know us. Partner does. Husband also would but isn’t technically accurate now since the supreme court’s obgerfell decision.

[happystuff]

I'm reading the responses and wondering - what term would the other person like to be used? After all, it's being used to describe them. Would they want to be called "partner", "significant other", etc.

[catherine]

I'm reading the responses and wondering - what term would the other person like to be used? After all, it's being used to describe them. Would they want to be called "partner", "significant other", etc.

I'm sticking with "partner" on that one. Honestly, I think that term is the most universal in this day and age. "Significant other" seems outdated. "Good Friend" is not explicit enough. "Boyfriend/girlfriend" is too cutesy for adults. "Lady friend/Gentleman friend" is too prissy--in that vein, how about "paramour"?

It has to be "partner."

[JaneV2.0]

Besides, "partner" conveys an egalitarian spirit of mutual respect and cooperation that appeals to me.

[iris lilies]

I’m ok with “partner” and will get used to it. I guess.

Part of my resistance to this word is that an “influencer” who I actively dislike uses it ad nauseam for her husband.

I do understand the concept that less loaded terminology will not be adopted if it’s not used.

[Rogar]

Friend or good friend is good with me unless you want others to be aware of some sort of romantic bond.

[ApatheticNoMore]

I'm reading the responses and wondering - what term would the other person like to be used? After all, it's being used to describe them. Would they want to be called "partner", "significant other", etc.

my bf calls me his girlfriend. I suppose I've used partner occasionally, but considering I'm almost always using a term when nooone has even seen their face, it seems like a guessing game "oh tell me is it a man or a woman?". None of your business. Oh wait I already told you something that's frankly none of your business, which people consider oh so important, whether the relationship is entirely platonic or not. So I'm hetro-romantic, move on. No of course I don't say that.

My boyfriend does the same, if asked what he did that weekend by coworkers who have never met me and never will he says "took a hike with my girlfriend" or whatever.

Otherwise to people who know them well when referring to my boyfriend, I use, wait for it ... their name!!!

Friend or good friend is good with me unless you want others to be aware of some sort of romantic bond.

and then you call them "my lover".

[jp1]

This conversation reminds me of a conversation my mother had with someone when I was a teenager. Our neighbors across the alley were an old couple. Mrs. OC died and a few days later there was an old lady in the yard watering the flowers. My mother said hello asked if she was Mr. or Mrs. OC's sister. She responded very excitedly "Oh no! He's my lover! I'm Shirley" Mom was quite caught off guard but quickly regained her composure and told Shirley that it was nice to meet her. Over the next several years Mom and Shirley actually became pretty friendly neighbors. Shirley was quite a character, but also a total sweetheart.