May Purge

[Tybee]

So sorry Tybee. I know how this sucks. I'm right behind you. A sheriff will be serving papers to Mom next week, informing her that my sister and I have filed papers for a conservatorship. She will most likely be entering an assisted living facility this summer, kicking and screaming the whole time and insisting she is fine and is taking care of her house (she isn't), and that she still cooks (she doesn't, at least not without burning herself or the food) and doesn't need any help while she continues to call my sister many nights a week saying how lonely she is. We've tried a day program, but its not enough, and she fights my sister each time she goes (like refusing to put on clean clothes, my sister took her anyways) even though the bus driver and people at the facility say she enjoys herself while she is there.

I'm sorry about your mom, herbgeek. What a nightmare, that the sheriff will serve her papers. I am really sorry that has to happen.

We had the emergency court hearing last week, and the final hearing is in a couple of weeks. The visitor from the state came out to interview her and she denied having any children, and did not understand what the woman was talking about, or where she is now, even. I am glad you are getting your mom out of the house sooner rather than later. That will give her time to make a good adjustment to assisted living--my parents loved it once they got used to it, but they could no longer meet her needs at the assisted living place. But there was a happy first year there for them before Covid hit, much better than being at home alone, and they made friends, and I hope your mom does, too.

[rosarugosa]

I'm sorry , Herbgeek. My mom is at least compliant and grateful for anything we do for her. That makes it on the one hand easier to be kind and patient, but on the other hand more painful to witness her anguish. She is so distressed at the thought that she is a burden to us, despite our constant reassurances that she is not.

[Teacher Terry]

It’s a odd disease where many people refuse to bathe, put on clean clothes, become paranoid and often wrap items in Kleenex and hide them. When my friend did all of these I found out it’s common. Some people get very combative. Hugs to all of you experiencing this.

[ejchase]

I'm so sorry to all of you going through these difficult transitions with your parents.

I'm the single mom of an only child, so I REALLY worry about being a burden to my daughter. It's one of the main reasons I'm constantly working on my clutter issues. And I know I need to think about a plan for assisted living sooner rather than later so that she doesn't have to manage that.

[iris lilies]

Fortunately my mother was like rosa’s, mostly compliant. Which doesn’t mean there was not drama in her life situation.

[frugal-one]

Sorry about your mom herbgeek.... hopefully it will go better than you think!

[rosarugosa]

So having completed the semi-annual closet cleanout, the score is currently as follows:
Rosa: 11 items in, 14 items out, for a net of 3 out (plus a pocketbook)
DH: 2 items in, 11 out, for a net of 9 out
So DH is winning this weird little game that we play (we, but mostly me, DH just kind of goes along to humor me). There are a lot of things I'm sure I could sell on eBay, but I really just want them gone. There isn't much of a market for my clothes, but DH's large Brooks Brothers casual shirts would sell. It requires a fair bit of time and effort though, and then I end up with something like $10 for an item after fees, and it works out to a lot less than minimum wage. I'm going to donate them to a good secular non-profit thrift store that I like, so that at least makes it feel a bit more satisfying.
I'm struggling with some items though: things that fit, look fine, but I haven't worn them in the 3+ years since retiring. It does seem like this category gets smaller each year, so I guess progress is being made. I think I would find it easier to let go of things if I didn't have such a hard time finding things that fit and if this stuff hadn't been fairly expensive in the first place.