Contested guardianship

[JaneV2.0]

I know you said no answer expected, but I think a gift is a gift. I'm wondering if it makes a different if something in writing is given along with the gift - meaning i.e. my mom "gifts" me her old wedding ring along with a card saying something to the effect "I'm giving you this ring as a gift because...". I would think having that in writing would help to ensure that the gifts would remain with those they were gifted to....

That's exactly what happened to me with my grandmother's ring. My rapacious relatives tried to make off with it until my mother produced the card. Now I wish the RR had won because I have to give it to another relative. As bae would say "bother."

[iris lilies]

I know you said no answer expected, but I think a gift is a gift. I'm wondering if it makes a different if something in writing is given along with the gift - meaning i.e. my mom "gifts" me her old wedding ring along with a card saying something to the effect "I'm giving you this ring as a gift because...". I would think having that in writing would help to ensure that the gifts would remain with those they were gifted to.

The other part of this is having the living family members being made aware of what goes where and to who, and hopefully they respect YOU enough to respect your wishes. But, there may always be someone who just "wants".

To cut the judge some slack here, I have a vague suspicion that this particular STUFF is handled by state law in a way that’s different from your typical family heirloom jewelry because it’s an Aggie state and this is Aggie related STUFF. But I do not know that and neither was it offered as a reason by any of DH’s siblings.

[pinkytoe]

I guess my MIL is one of the lucky ones as she doesn't want to be in charge of any aspect of her life other than selecting meal menus at her assisted living place. She has zero interest in her finances now and before FIL died. Someone has always done everything for her. SIL takes care of her every need or whim, BIL pays the bills and niece lives in her house and supposedly takes care of it. I often wonder how this woman would have ever survived on her own. It will be interesting when she passes because DH's sibs are non-communicative. DH had POA but it was switched to his two sibs jointly for some reason when FIL died. I hope it all goes amicably but stories abound of family squabbles over estates as they often bring out the worst in some people.

[Tradd]

Herbgeek, good luck tomorrow.

[Teacher Terry]

I really hope it goes smoothly tomorrow Herbgeek.

[rosarugosa]

Another voice to say hope all goes smoothly, Herbgeek.

[herbgeek]

Thanks all.

So now we wait on the judge.

Three of us kids (the 4th chose not to participate) got to speak of our concerns, the neurologist's report was filed, mom's attorney said my mother objects to the petition. She had to add the house was "spotless"- clearly she didn't go into any rooms- the bathroom in particular is filthy. The 4th kid came to see how bad it was this weekend, and reported they had pizza last night and he found all the dishes they used placed into a dresser drawer this morning (unwashed). That's so Mom, as long as everything is thrown into a drawer, its "clean".

[Tybee]

Thanks all.

So now we wait on the judge.

Three of us kids (the 4th chose not to participate) got to speak of our concerns, the neurologist's report was filed, mom's attorney said my mother objects to the petition. She had to add the house was "spotless"- clearly she didn't go into any rooms- the bathroom in particular is filthy. The 4th kid came to see how bad it was this weekend, and reported they had pizza last night and he found all the dishes they used placed into a dresser drawer this morning (unwashed). That's so Mom, as long as everything is thrown into a drawer, its "clean".

I hope the judge can hear what is really going on.

[herbgeek]

I hope the judge can hear what is really going on.

Me too. The neurologist's report is pretty convincing if my sister's halted speech was not. Even Mom's attorney admitted that she questioned Mom about paying bills, and Mom said she still pays her own bills but when pressed, she couldn't remember any. She hasn't done bills in many years.

[catherine]

herbgeek, I hope the judge does the right thing.
Tybee, same to you at your next court date.

I pray to God I just go quickly and my kids can cremate me and bury me under a tree sapling, have a party on the lake, and call it a day. What a difficult position for families to be in.