Contested guardianship

[iris lilies]

Good point - thanks for "fixing" it.

In my household I truly do not think I would mind being moved to a small place that is easy to take care of. Two rooms and a little patio would make me happy. However – I’ll tell you — I would have a very hard time swallowing having to live in a plain modern building that all these assisted-living places are in. That would be the stickler.

I’ve already scoped out the assisted living place in Hermann and it is hideous. It is One of those modern sprawling buildings built by the highway, where even the setting is not nice in a place where the setting COULD be nice.

I might have to go back to St. Louis where there are assisted living places in the old nunneries and multiple Catholic Church facilities around here. Those structures are cool.
.
Oh by the way I would love having someone cook for me two times a day. Bring it that on baby!

DH will be the one who is hard to move. I hope I’m dead and do not have to move him feom his Hermann aceeage. It is really hard for men who are constantly Building, fixing, and maintaining large areas to move to assisted living where all the sudden there’s nothing to do. All the wood shops in the world in those places do not make up for this.

[frugal-one]

In my household I truly do not think I would mind being moved to a small place that is easy to take care of. Two rooms and a little patio would make me happy. However – I’ll tell you — I would have a very hard time swallowing having to live in a plain modern building that all these assisted-living places are in. That would be the stickler.

I’ve already scoped out the assisted living place in Hermann and it is hideous. It is One of those modern sprawling buildings built by the highway, where even the setting is not nice in a place where the setting COULD be nice.

I might have to go back to St. Louis where there are assisted living places in the old nunneries and multiple Catholic Church facilities around here. Those structures are cool.
.
Oh by the way I would love having someone cook for me two times a day. Bring it that on baby!

DH will be the one who is hard to move. I hope I’m dead and do not have to move him feom his Hermann aceeage. It is really hard for men who are constantly Building, fixing, and maintaining large areas to move to assisted living where all the sudden there’s nothing to do. All the wood shops in the world in those places do not make up for this.

Cold, drafty, mold.... old building can be a nightmare too. Be careful what you wish for.

[iris lilies]

Cold, drafty, mold.... old building can be a nightmare too. Be careful what you wish for.

Umm…ok.

[JaneV2.0]

I remember my MIL, who was always so stalwart and active, showed some signs of lethargy and maybe even depression at the end of her life. She told us that nothing excited her anymore. ...

I fervently hope I lose interest in life just before I die--I'd hate to leave wanting more.

[iris lilies]

I fervently hope I lose interest in life just before I die--I'd hate to leave wanting more.

Yeah, that shows the kindness of Mother Nature, having us wanting to check out at about the same time we DO check out.

[Teacher Terry]

My mom never lost her interest in living even being a few months short of 90. Her sister is 96 and had to go to assisted living and is now done. She needs a wheelchair and is almost blind.

[Tybee]

Having seen my mom and dad so desperately want to die at home, I think I will set a year by which, if I am not dead, that I will move into assisted living myself, so as to build the best life there I can,, for whatever years I have left.

It's just really hard to pick an age where I would be ready to leave my gardens, my riding mower, my place to do projects--but it's still a really good idea to pick the age myself and work towards that.

I can see why someone would feel bad having someone else make these decisions for them, even though they are the only sane decisions to make. Still, I want to make the decision, so that I am not scaring my family and living in squalor.

This is without the wild card of dementia, which would definitely speed up the process of getting out of my house, as I think it's possible to glide towards death rather than crash and burn the way some people do, insisting on remaining at home.

With dementia, it becomes really hard to control one's mood, although my mother did a great job for many years remaining cheerful. But to make oneself be brave and cheerful requires a lot of capacity and self control and it's not really possible at the end. although I see my mom working hard not to blow up at people. She remains polite most of the time, which I think is incredibly gracious, under the godawful circumstances that she has had to live over the past two years.

[Teacher Terry]

My aunt made the decision to go by herself.

[iris lilies]

I talked about one of my garden club lady friends who is hale and hearty and in her mid 70’s. But she lives in one of those houses that requires a lot of upkeep in a place that requires a ton of upkeep. Her kids are talking to her about looking for a place to live. She has a husband who doesn’t want to do the upkeep anymore.

She went to one of the extensive, expensive step by step senior living places, a place not too far from where she lives. And she told me that after looking into it she has decided not to move.

You all said she’s too young to move! . No I don’t think she’s too young at all, At least, she’s not too young to downsize and get a plan in place. I have another garden club lady friend who is a similar age who has another big old giant impossible to maintain house that’s 130 years old. She has just started to downsize. Her husband has thousands of books. He let go of three of them last week in their downsizing exercise.

This is all this madness, I want nothing to do with this sort of thing.

And then I think about my friends who are 82 years old who sold their giant Victorian house 12 years ago to move into a sleek condo. They had to get rid of stuff from a 4500 square-foot house,a 35 year accumulation, a chore for sure. But they are hearty and active. I mean they are super active, still working part time jobs, very social, community gardens, trips to Europe every year. I want to be them and not the sad people are who are hanging onto their decaying properties with their fingernails.

[rosarugosa]

there fixed it.

We ALL need to be paying attention here. None of us are spring chickens.

Even spring chickens do not stay spring chickens.
I have chosen 80 as the age I would like to die. My sister says life's cruel joke will be for me to live to 100, or I could certainly die tomorrow. But I do think 80 is a good age to go.