I have a friend (T) who I worked with for a couple years and we have kept in touch since. But I always have to go her way. She never will come my way and if it is a group get-together she will insist it be somewhere in her hometown and say next time we'll do something nearer where the other three of us live, but next time comes and it's the same old her way or the highway.

She has been a good friend otherwise and a few weeks ago I went out to see her. I suggested a place which she of course shot down. So we met in her hometown. But I would like to see the other place so I tried to get the other two people in our circle to go. C said great let's ask A and T. I said I already asked T and she is not interested but I will check with A. A had other things going on that weekend so I told C and said let's try next month. She said yes, let's, and said she had brought it up with T who said she only wanted to go to the beach. I said the place I want to go is a beach. C said, "Well you'll have to explain that to her." But I know T only wants to go to the beach near her house, it's not that she doesn't know that the place I want to go is a beach.

Now I know that not all friends meet all needs. T just likes to sit and talk. She will never hike or go out to eat or swim or anything else. My other friends are more adventurous. I do not fault T. She is tired from working full time and taking care of her elderly parents. That is why I went to see her. And it's why I've offered to help her with grocery shopping or anything else she might need but she always says no.

So since C talked with T about my trying to get other people to go to the destination I wanted that T rejected, T has been very distant. We would text every few days, at a minimum every weekend, and when I last checked in with her and she took over a day to respond, was very brusque, and has not contacted me since. If she doesn't want to go with me I don't think she should resent my trying to go with other people. She was the first one I asked.

She also is getting very secretive. I had been a reference for her for two different jobs, but she didn't ask for her most recent one and hasn't even told me where she is working. She also tried to come back to our company but didn't tell C or me, but C found out through the grapevine.

Anyways, I am getting annoyed with T. I know she will probably try to strong arm everyone into going to her hometown and she will pick a time around her birthday to get together so she will say she gets to pick the destination for that reason. She has never gotten together with me for my birthday, just sent something in the mail. My thoughts are I am going to dig in my heels when this invitation comes and say no thanks, I'm interested in either the destination I suggested or something closer to where the other three of us live. I know she's got lots going on in her life, but so do the other three of us, and not small stuff either.