New direction with house hunt

[Tybee]

We decided to change our plans somewhat and sell the paid for house out of state, so that we would not have to leave my mom at this time. We put it on the market and it sold in a day, with nine offers, and we took the cash offer and it closed in two weeks. Very, very speedy. So now our dilemma is what to do here--house prices have increased a LOT since we bought this one, less than a year ago.

DH wants to dump this house while market is good, so that we can get something we like better, closer to my mom's nursing home because it is a real haul to get there, around 2 hours each way. Unfortunately, the houses that meet this criteria are about double what we should spend if we are getting enough acreage to do what he wants to do.

So we either have to keep driving, stay where we are in a house we don't care for, buy something we can afford with little land until we sell this one, and then buy something--maybe keep that house as a rental?

Renting a place for us after selling is the sensible option but won't happen with DH, so we are thinking of making a contigent offer, contigent on sale of this house? But who would accept a contingent sale in this market?

Part of me wants to just hunker down here and just get out of the stress of house hunting for a while, like maybe a year. Prices here seem to be going down a little.

But I am not going to be comfortable selling with no place to go. Yet maybe that is what has to happen?

Feeling confused right now. But it is a relief to only have one house.

[razz]

Congratulations on the sale of your out of state house as owning two houses is a stressful situation when life and future are unsettled.

May I suggest that you determine what 'your needs' will be in 10 years and look for that sort of accommodation. It may take a lot of discussion to agree with different wants and needs but deciding on 'your future' without your mother involved in the planning. Two hours of driving is demanding so I understand your dilemma.
Put yourselves first and family commitments second. What do each of you, DH and you, really want longterm? What are your common values and the differing values that need to be reconciled?
Conditional offers are a poor choice in the current market as you acknowledge.
Wishing you well.

[Tybee]

Razz, this is really good advice, I can feel it. "Put yourselves first and family commitments second. What do each of you, DH and you, really want longterm? What are your common values and the differing values that need to be reconciled?"

[iris lilies]

How often do you need to see your mother? Could you make a 2 hour drive, see her that day, stay over night in a motel and see her the next day, and then go home? That would be seeing her two days per week. Seems like enough visits to me.

You should be getting a place like razz suggests, leaving the equation of your mother out of it. that is, IF you have to make another move. I would stay where you are for the time being. It is too bad you dont love it, though.

But didnt you move there for grandchildren too? How far away are they?

Why does your husband need so many acres?

I would love to be buying real estate in New England!

[pinkytoe]

We have the same house dilemma choices without the mother part. It's like having two brains thinking divergent thoughts. It is very stressful to think about constant tomorrows and house-hunting. We are just focusing on today - where we are now. I do wonder though how long you think your mother will be in her present situation?

[Tradd]

I’m sad you sold the Michigan house but understand why. Hope you can determine what’s best for your next move so not too much stress.

[Tybee]

I’m sad you sold the Michigan house but understand why. Hope you can determine what’s best for your next move so not too much stress.

I'm sad too, real sad, and thanks. I just can't even think about it right now. Got to get the stress down.

[Tybee]

We have the same house dilemma choices without the mother part. It's like having two brains thinking divergent thoughts. It is very stressful to think about constant tomorrows and house-hunting. We are just focusing on today - where we are now. I do wonder though how long you think your mother will be in her present situation?

I just don't know. I would think not long, but then she is physically amazingly strong. Her sister lived to be 97 but was in much better shape mentally.

I hear you about two brains thinking divergent thoughts. My husband and I have very different needs, and none of us likes it here as much as we did other places we have lived. But it's early, and there's been so much negative stuff here around Mom.

[Tybee]

How often do you need to see your mother? Could you make a 2 hour drive, see her that day, stay over night in a motel and see her the next day, and then go home? That would be seeing her two days per week. Seems like enough visits to me.

You should be getting a place like razz suggests, leaving the equation of your mother out of it. that is, IF you have to make another move. I would stay where you are for the time being. It is too bad you dont love it, though.

But didnt you move there for grandchildren too? How far away are they?

Why does your husband need so many acres?

I would love to be buying real estate in New England!

Grandchildren are very close to where Mother is. He needs acres to do what he wants to do with the place. We both like privacy and room to feel we can range around. That much is similar. I am happy with about 3 acres and he always wants more.

We see her once a week, that's all we can manage as we are both still working. Right now, we are trying to look at different areas to see if we like them more. So that is more work, more driving, more demands on time that we don't really have given our work schedule and demands of the family.

You should buy in New Hampshire, I think. It would suit you. Bargains are a thing of the past, though.

[Yppej]

You should try to get on Love It Or List It. Take some of your money from the house you sold, fix up the house you have to increase its sale value, then look at what Hillary has done with the place and decide would you rather keep it or move to someplace else that David finds for you.