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Thread: And the friend passed yesterday.....

  1. #1
    Senior Member gimmethesimplelife's Avatar
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    And the friend passed yesterday.....

    The friend I posted about recently that has been trainwrecking their life via active alcohol and drug addiction - passed yesterday at 529 PM at Deer Valley Honor Health. This death is hitting me very hard - this was the first real friend I ever had and likely in some ways the best friend I am ever going to have. It's frustrating as help was available for his issues - and this help worked for extended periods of time in the past. Due to this help, he was for many years able to hold down a good paying and for him interesting forestry job - he was also able to marry a wonderful women of whom i have nothing but respect, and he also had a son who has turned out to be a very respectable man.

    I guess what I am trying to say is what a waste. And unnecessary. I grieve but life goes on and I have to be productive at work today as we had one supervisor just up and quit because they could not get the vacation time they wanted. Ay carumba.

    I'll be OK. I just feel like an imposter lost at sea today - but I will be OK. One thing I'd like to add is that my friend was always straight - which is one reason I found this friendship so special and meaningful. The world is a slightly less kind and pleasant place with this passing as far as I am concerned. Rob

  2. #2
    Senior Member Yppej's Avatar
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    Sorry for your loss Rob. Relapse is so common with addictions, even after long periods of sobriety. I hope more research on the brain can help down the road in treating these conditions.

  3. #3
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    It is a tragedy and a waste, and I'm so sorry for your loss, Rob. As the daughter of an artist-carpenter-business owner-loving father who committed slow suicide with alcohol and died young, I know your pain. My sincere condolences.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

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    Senior Member KayLR's Avatar
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    Ah, so sorry, Rob. It is such a shame, yes. I wonder how much the pandemic had affected his sobriety. I know several in recovery who have said not being able to meet in person in their support groups has led to loss of members. I feel for you--the loss of a friend is tough, no matter the circumstance. Take care.
    My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already!

  5. #5
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    Losing a good friend is tough. Addiction is a terrible thing.

  6. #6
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Awww, that is too bad.

    Last Friday I had an hour talk with a former friend, someone we hung out with regularly for a few years. Then he dropped me. And then he dropped several other people including his mother. And then he became a hermit. His level of paranoia was getting bad back then, but DH last saw him two years ago where he was reporting being controlled by people within his computer.

    In my interaction with him last week he could talk about very little besides how he’s being controlled and boxed in by his upstairs and downstairs tenants as well as their compatriots in the porn industry as well as, and especially, people who control what he can see on the Internet.

    His level of delusion is disturbing, it’s been going on for years now, and I can’t see that he’ll ever come out of it. He is mid-50’s in age.

  7. #7
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    So sorry Rob!

  8. #8
    Senior Member jp1's Avatar
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    So sorry rob. I too have lost a couple of close friends to addiction and know that it’s such a heart breaking tragedy when it happens.

  9. #9
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    I'm so sorry, Rob. It's probably a good thing you have a challenging job to distract you.

  10. #10
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    When sorrow hits like this, it has helped me to focus on what I loved about that individual. With time, the gratitude that he came into your life will wash away the sorrow.
    Last edited by razz; 8-4-21 at 5:56pm.
    As Cicero said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”

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