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Thread: And the friend passed yesterday.....

  1. #21
    Senior Member gimmethesimplelife's Avatar
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    Thank You everyone, for your kind words and support. It's a week since the death today and I am starting to accept it - something that is helping is that two weeks from now when the ashes are spread in Strawberry, Arizona, up on the Mogollon Rim (pine trees and 5000 ft. plus altitude) I have been asked to speak. Not that I am so special but somehow this seems appropriate to me - it sure will helps with some closure for me personally. And thanks again, everyone! Rob

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    Oh rob, just read this, so sorry for your loss.

  3. #23
    Senior Member gimmethesimplelife's Avatar
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    Ran across some pics this morning of our last road trip last December - Bisbee and the (sp?) Chiricuahua National Monument. What a gut punch that was. I'm glad I got called in today for a few hours (was supposed to be off).

  4. #24
    Senior Member jp1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gimmethesimplelife View Post
    Ran across some pics this morning of our last road trip last December - Bisbee and the (sp?) Chiricuahua National Monument. What a gut punch that was. I'm glad I got called in today for a few hours (was supposed to be off).
    I assume he had things under control at that time? Yeah, seeing when someone was doing ok and then looking at how they were when they weren't is awful.

    My first BF was an amazing church organist. Multiple times I went to play my clarinet at whatever church he was serving at. I'll never forget the time I went and played the Weber Concertino with him (him jacked up on several cups of coffee) accompanying. We ROCKED it. It's a flashy piece of music so we jammed through it absurdly fast with him in his caffeinated state and I kept up. And it was awesome. A decade later we had long since broken up but remained friends. He became HIV+ and took meds for a while. But then stopped. And started selling and using meth. And then died after a short illness of non-hodgkins lymphoma. I'm no longer angry at whoever introduced him to meth but I will miss him for the rest of my life.

  5. #25
    Senior Member gimmethesimplelife's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jp1 View Post
    I assume he had things under control at that time? Yeah, seeing when someone was doing ok and then looking at how they were when they weren't is awful.

    My first BF was an amazing church organist. Multiple times I went to play my clarinet at whatever church he was serving at. I'll never forget the time I went and played the Weber Concertino with him (him jacked up on several cups of coffee) accompanying. We ROCKED it. It's a flashy piece of music so we jammed through it absurdly fast with him in his caffeinated state and I kept up. And it was awesome. A decade later we had long since broken up but remained friends. He became HIV+ and took meds for a while. But then stopped. And started selling and using meth. And then died after a short illness of non-hodgkins lymphoma. I'm no longer angry at whoever introduced him to meth but I will miss him for the rest of my life.
    Yes, he was clean and sober for a brief period of time late last year. His Mother died in March and then we went completely off the deep end. I will miss him the rest of my life. He was completely straight, nothing ever happened between us - which made the whole thing so much more special to me. Dealing with him was like watching an early Pedro Almodovar movie - I felt like I was dealing with someone who "got it" and I felt very much like I could be me around him without having to worry about filtering everything.

    Tomorrow is two weeks since his death and his son went down to Tucson yesterday to gather his things - that's always been so creepy to me - dealing with the possessions that the dead left behind. Rob

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by gimmethesimplelife View Post
    Tomorrow is two weeks since his death and his son went down to Tucson yesterday to gather his things - that's always been so creepy to me - dealing with the possessions that the dead left behind. Rob
    It is not an easy task - my condolences to his son.
    To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer." Mahatma Gandhi
    Be nice whenever possible. It's always possible. HH Dalai Lama
    In a world where you can be anything - be kind. Unknown

  7. #27
    Senior Member gimmethesimplelife's Avatar
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    Just an update. My friend's celebration of life will be held in Catalina State Park outside of Tucson, with a sweeping view of the Santa Catalina Mountains. The date is September 26th and I will be one of the people who stand and speak. I did get that day off and it's so important to me that my upcoming three days off - this Wednesday through Friday - I offered to give them up in exchange. I believe my offer was appreciated but corporate is looking to reduce OT - I have really been cashing in on the lack of staff by actually volunteering to pick up extra shifts. I want to build up my savings and invest more and here I've lucked into the chance to do so. But last I know I still have those three days off and September 26th off.

    I'm hoping that I get some closure from this experience. I have a friend who I've kept in touch with that I met online here who just had a close friend die too and I was almost jealous in a way - because he got to have several conversations with his late friend before he passed. I did not get that with my friend who at the end was so far gone on drugs I seriously doubt anyone could have gotten through to him. At any rate, I will go and speak and hope for closure. At least the ashes are being spread in a place I'm sure Tim would have picked out were he given the choice. I can take some comfort in that much. Rob

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    Good luck getting closure. I hope your celebration of life, does not become what my bosses did. He was an alcoholic, and his brother always complained about his "drunken Thursday's", yet turned the celebration of life into a drunken Thursday, for all the drinking buddies.
    No closure for the rest.

  9. #29
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    I hope it provides you with the closure you are seeking, Rob. Good luck.
    To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer." Mahatma Gandhi
    Be nice whenever possible. It's always possible. HH Dalai Lama
    In a world where you can be anything - be kind. Unknown

  10. #30
    Senior Member gimmethesimplelife's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by happystuff View Post
    I hope it provides you with the closure you are seeking, Rob. Good luck.
    Thank You, Happystuff. Rob

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