Final Arrangements

[Teacher Terry]

Yes crematories provide transportation of the body. 5 years ago when my friend was dying it was 500.

[frugal-one]

Here there is a cremation society. I would imagine all states have them. The cost includes everything except a fancy urn but does include an interim one.

I wondered what documents would be needed if you died in a different state. So I called the cremation society here and was told none are needed. Since we are planning on being gone a number of months this year it is nice to know there would be no problems just being cremated in that state.

[iris lilies]

My son used to work for a company which deals with body donations for medical purposes. It is an option suggested to families where a sudden, unplanned death has occurred and they have little to no money for cremation. There are surgical suites on-site and students come in and practice surgeries. What they do and how they do it is rather fascinating. He was always bothered by the amount of money that is exchanged. These families get a free cremation but on the flip side big money is exchanging hands. Oh boy, does he have some stories...
He was at a family picnic and got paged to go make a pick up. He laughingly said to his uncle that he had to leave to go pick up a box of squids. His uncle shouldn't have asked but did. They often take all the long bones out of the legs and arms and sew them up loosely. So using your imagination think of tentacles. They roll them up and put them in boxes to be picked up and cremated. I thought his uncle was going to faint.

yikes!

I guess we all have to remember back in the days of grave robbing in the 1800s when medical schools were desperate for bodies to practice on. Grave robbers were paid good money.

[GeorgeParker]

A good movie related to this topic is Departures.

An out of work musician applies for a job dealing with "departures" thinking it's a clerical job, but it turns out the job is performing the traditional Japanese ceremony of preparing a corpse for burial and placing it in a coffin, usually while the family looks on. (basically a funeral ceremony, but with no embalming) This is a drama but not overly dramatic if you know what I mean. It's a good and very satisfying movie that I've kept in my personal DVD collection.

[Simplemind]

I love that movie GeorgeParker. One of my all time favorites.

[Simplemind]

I understand how you feel Tybee. I've mentioned it here before but I am still so deeply touched that my son (in his young 20's) got permission, went and picked up my dad, took him to the mortuary and dressed him in his finest. He and I then had the place to ourselves and we put all his favorite things with him (down to his favorite meal from his favorite restaurant in a box signed by all his favorite servers) and cremated him ourselves. Not for everyone (my siblings didn't attend) but it was a huge gift to me. It felt serene and perfect, the first time I felt calm and settled about his passing. I know my dad would have absolutely loved it. We toasted him with his favorite scotch and sent that with him too. When it was completed we spread his ashes at Lost Lake where we always camped and fished.

[iris lilies]

I understand how you feel Tybee. I've mentioned it here before but I am still so deeply touched that my son (in his young 20's) got permission, went and picked up my dad, took him to the mortuary and dressed him in his finest. He and I then had the place to ourselves and we put all his favorite things with him (down to his favorite meal from his favorite restaurant in a box signed by all his favorite servers) and cremated him ourselves. Not for everyone (my siblings didn't attend) but it was a huge gift to me. It felt serene and perfect, the first time I felt calm and settled about his passing. I know my dad would have absolutely loved it. We toasted him with his favorite scotch and sent that with him too. When it was completed we spread his ashes at Lost Lake where we always camped and fished.

that is SUPER DOOPER great!

In Korea the family watches the cremation. One of my friends was engaged briefly to a Korean man and his mother died.
She went with his family to the cremation event which was on a stage and at a particular time. The family shuffled in to watch the cremation. It took place. And then they left. Not sure if they took ashes.

[happystuff]

I know some Buddhist Koreans that will have the ashes interned in a temple for a set period of time (or forever) and at the end of the set time, there is a ceremony where the ashes are released.

My son was not cremated in Korea, but 1/2 of his ashes were interned for a while at a Buddhist monastery in his birth city.

<removed a bunch of very personal stuff>

We were able - with the help of some WONDERFUL friends - to spread some of his ashes in his birth country. The other 1/2 has been spread here in the U.S. - I just have a little bit left to release.

[iris lilies]

I understand how you feel Tybee. I've mentioned it here before but I am still so deeply touched that my son (in his young 20's) got permission, went and picked up my dad, took him to the mortuary and dressed him in his finest. He and I then had the place to ourselves and we put all his favorite things with him (down to his favorite meal from his favorite restaurant in a box signed by all his favorite servers) and cremated him ourselves. Not for everyone (my siblings didn't attend) but it was a huge gift to me. It felt serene and perfect, the first time I felt calm and settled about his passing. I know my dad would have absolutely loved it. We toasted him with his favorite scotch and sent that with him too. When it was completed we spread his ashes at Lost Lake where we always camped and fished.

The more I think about it, the more I think this is the perfect sendoff. This is the perfect sendoff story, I’ve not heard a better one. I will now file this away in my head as a perfect ending story.

I also have run into a perfect wedding set up that someone at my workplace did about 15 years ago.

When I live my lives again I will do these things.

[Tybee]

I understand how you feel Tybee. I've mentioned it here before but I am still so deeply touched that my son (in his young 20's) got permission, went and picked up my dad, took him to the mortuary and dressed him in his finest. He and I then had the place to ourselves and we put all his favorite things with him (down to his favorite meal from his favorite restaurant in a box signed by all his favorite servers) and cremated him ourselves. Not for everyone (my siblings didn't attend) but it was a huge gift to me. It felt serene and perfect, the first time I felt calm and settled about his passing. I know my dad would have absolutely loved it. We toasted him with his favorite scotch and sent that with him too. When it was completed we spread his ashes at Lost Lake where we always camped and fished.

That is a beautiful story, Simplemind. The day Dad died I brought down some love letters he had written my mom and gave them to the mortuary guy, along with a flannel shirt he liked and his Semper Fi Marine hat and a pair of khakis and underwear. That is how he went out, with the letters in his pocket.