I will definitely go by myself if it makes DD's family feel better about the Covid aspect. I haven't traveled alone in eons but its a good opportunity to try. I HATE this never-ending Covid nightmare...
I will definitely go by myself if it makes DD's family feel better about the Covid aspect. I haven't traveled alone in eons but its a good opportunity to try. I HATE this never-ending Covid nightmare...
I’m sure you’ve read that I’ve poked my DH with the prospect of me flying to Europe without him because he can’t get on a plane and go to Europe because he’s not vaccinated. I am serious, I would get a plane and go to Prague for a week happily without him.Originally Posted by pinkytoe
Last edited by iris lilies; 9-3-21 at 8:46am.
I am thinking about divorce now. I can't deal with this anymore...there is something wrong with this man.
I'm sorry to hear this. I agree there is something pretty wrong if he prioritizes not getting the vaccine over seeing close family. Most people want to see their grandchildren.
I'm sorry pinkytoe. Every time I read these threads, I'm like thank heavens my partner is not part of that nonsense (well they aren't on the right politically to begin with, so there is that)
I guess I hope it doesn't come to that, although only you can decide what is right for you. I often wonder, do you share things you like to do with your partner, or it all just (frankly crazy IMO) politics? (that obviously you don't agree on).
If you don't divorce obviously family visits with your husband will be limited for a long time (until covid dies down on it's own I guess, if it does, I mean that could happen at some point, it's not inevitable it's here forever). But you can just see family yourself, unless you too are trying to isolate to protect your husband, which is wow a heavy burden indeed. Yea I did a lot of limiting contact *before* vaccines, to protect others as much as self but that was then.
Trees don't grow on money
Pinkytoe, may I suggest a counselling session or sessions first? You both are going in different directions from the longterm past in your thinking at present. The counselling session/s will ease the way ahead and prevent or reduce regret, sorrow, grief etc.
https://www.therapytribe.com/therapy...dvice-support/
As Cicero said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”
It hopefully will not be forever (though some public health fanatics would like to keep us under their draconian rules forever - a Board of Health nurse told me today masks are great because they stop the flu and common cold and even though none of the covid cases in my city are serious enough to warrant hospitalization any day a child stays home from school sick is serious, attendance should be perfect).
Anyway, I digress but hopefully we do get back to normal. There is a term called "catastrophizing" that may apply here. Try to live one day at a time and don't worry about ever again down the road.
Last edited by Yppej; 9-3-21 at 4:53am.
I agree with Razz.
My ex-wife and I have been happily divorced for 25 years. That's four years longer than we were married. The key is we were never mad at each other. We just got to a point where we had become very different people from who we were when we got married, and we both recognized that we would be better off if we became good friends who aren't married instead of good friends who are married. IOW we both needed to pursue the things that were most important to us in life, and we loved each other enough that we wanted to give each other that freedom.
Maybe a few counseling sessions will get you two headed in the same direction again. Or maybe counseling will just smooth out your feelings about each other enough so that you can separate peacefully and stay friends. Either way, if DH agrees to counseling you'll probably be better off than if you just put "I Will Survive" on constant replay and called a lawyer.
I agree with others that counseling can be very helpful. I dragged my second husband to therapy and eventually lived with my situation until my kids were grown. The last year we were together I went to therapy by myself to get the strength to leave. Once I left I was relieved and not sad. With this last marriage I was committed to making it work. The cheating again was the last straw plus the cheating occurred when Covid was raging and he put my life at risk. I didn’t bother with therapy since this is the third time at this particular rodeo.
But I did need to figure out finances and how that would affect my life. Once I left I realized that I had been putting up with a lot of crap and I was happier without him. Marriage can be a slippery slope where one person gradually changes for the worse. It’s like putting a frog in a cold pot of water and turning on the heat so it slowly cooks to death without realizing it. Wishing you all the best in whatever you decide.
I agree with the counseling, but think it will work only if you both are honest! Not saying either one of you wouldn't be, but I have known some folks who did. Anyway, at least it might help you figure out what is best for you! Good luck and I'm sorry this is happening to you.
To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer." Mahatma Gandhi
Be nice whenever possible. It's always possible. HH Dalai Lama
In a world where you can be anything - be kind. Unknown
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