DD discouraging a Fall visit

[pinkytoe]

Due to DH's no vaccine status...which I understand since she has two little kids in and out of daycare and often sick. I guess it is more important to DH than ever seeing his family again. We are going through the same conundrum now with a potential visit to my siblings. Do I tell them? I can't lie so...Going by myself is of course an option but really awkward at this point trying to explain my once intelligent spouse's position on all this. It is looking more and more like we will just stay simple-living hermits until/ if this is ever over.

[Yppej]

Due to DH's no vaccine status...which I understand since she has two little kids in and out of daycare and often sick. I guess it is more important to DH than ever seeing his family again. We are going through the same conundrum now with a potential visit to my siblings. Do I tell them? I can't lie so...Going by myself is of course an option but really awkward at this point trying to explain my once intelligent spouse's position on all this. It is looking more and more like we will just stay simple-living hermits until/ if this is ever over.

I'm not sure your situation. Are you retired? Still working? If not working, would the two of you stocking up on food and staying home for two weeks as a pre-visit quarantine put everyone's mind at ease? How far away are they? Could you travel without having to stop for bathroom breaks along the way, or would you be willing to go in the woods rather than around people if nature calls?

My suggestions are probably extreme for many, but I am trying to think outside the box.

[ApatheticNoMore]

I don't see how staying home two weeks will help if the concern is infecting DH rather than the kids (as makes sense in terms of risk although neither are vaccinated).

[iris lilies]

Pinkytoe, I can speak practically to parts of your dilemma but other parts I can only theorize about.

As you know my DH is not vaccinated but I don’t dwell on it. I poke him now and then about it and we have some, err, lively discussions. On the scale of emotions I’m only a little bit embarrassed, and a little bit worried. Mainly I go about my business not upset because that is my mental outlook in general in life.

In the end he is his own person and he can make his own decisions.I’m sure some people “judge “me for his unvaccinated status, but that’s OK, they get to do that. Such is life.

I am taking literally what you say “I guess it [remaining unvaccinated] is more important to DH than ever seeing his family again.”

Yes, that is his position. He gets to make his own decisions about his health.

For heaven sake‘s go see your grandchildren and your other family members and leave your DH at home. It’s not that big a deal whether he goes or not.

I admire the way your daughter draws a line in the sand to protect the health of her girls. I would be very proud of her if I were you. I will just mention that a few years ago you were expressing quite a lot of reservation about getting a vaccine ( not covid) to be around the newborn baby granddaughters. You had your own science-based ideas about it. Your a DH believes he has his own science-based ideas.I think his ideas are less valid, but since we see vaccinated people getting Covid, that is not a sure path to protect grandchildren.

[Tybee]

I am with IL on this one. Go and visit your granddaughters, and your husband may have time to reflect on whether this is what he wants, and maybe he will decide to get vaccinated.

[Yppej]

Give him props for being honest, not lying and saying he is vaccinated and buying a fake vaccine card on the internet.

[GeorgeParker]

I am with IL on this one. Go and visit your granddaughters, and your husband may have time to reflect on whether this is what he wants, and maybe he will decide to get vaccinated.

I'm with IL and Tybee on this one. If DH refuses to get vaccinated and his daughter refuses to let him visit because her children can't get vaccinated, you should go visit your grandkids by yourself. Your DH made a choice and refuses to change his mind, so let him suffer the logical consequences.

[razz]

Go visit your grandchildren and family members as others have mentioned. Your DH has made his choice. You need to make your choice as you are free to do.

The first time that you leave him to follow his decision is hard, as I know from similar scenarios with my late DH, but you are free and owe no explanation to anyone beyond stating that you are respecting his freedom to make his choice and respecting your freedom to visit family with the protection of the vaccine. Keep it simple!!!!

You are complying with your values in having ongoing contact with your family members as your DH is his by his choice to prioritize his preference to avoid the vaccines.

[Teacher Terry]

Go visit your daughter and grandchildren. Your husband made his decision.

[happystuff]

I'm with everyone else - go see your grandchildren!