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Thread: Would allowing my daughter to visit her mom in jail for 7 months be a good idea?

  1. #1
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    Would allowing my daughter to visit her mom in jail for 7 months be a good idea?

    Would allowing my 15-year-old daughter to visit her mom who will be in jail for 7 months for check fraud be a bad idea even if they have a good relationship since then she will see the inside of a jail and prisoners? Not to mention her mom in a jumpsuit. My daughter would like to go and seems enthusiastic and my wife says bring her if she wants but I’m not sure



    Actually my daughter does not seem scared but instead seems excited and enthusiastic to visit. This is strange to me. Do you find this normal? My daughter seems to find the idea of her mom having to wearing a uniform, sharing a room funny. I wonder why she would think it is funny. My wife says bring her if she would like to and my daughter says she would like to but I don't know if it is a good idea. She hasn't gone yet so we can still discuss it together.

  2. #2
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Your daughter is old enough to make this decision for herself. If you can facilitate the visit for her, I think it’s a good idea to do that, especially since she has a good relationship with her mother.

  3. #3
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    Maybe it would be a good thing because it is not going to be easy to visit. Lots of protocols and guards. Have a long talk with daughter to tell her that everything in her mom's life is restricted. What she eats, when, how, where and she is not socializing with the "best" of society.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by sweetana3 View Post
    Maybe it would be a good thing because it is not going to be easy to visit. Lots of protocols and guards. Have a long talk with daughter to tell her that everything in her mom's life is restricted. What she eats, when, how, where and she is not socializing with the "best" of society.
    Absolutely take her with you at least once. It will open her eyes to the reality of the situation and remove those rose-colored glasses. But do have "The Talk" with her first as sweetana3 suggested so she'll understand what she'll have to do and that jail isn't like summer camp, it's more like being locked in an empty bedroom all summer with four people you don't like.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Tradd's Avatar
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    Let her visit if she wants to. Maybe it will be enough to keep her on the straight and narrow if she starts swerving off.

  6. #6
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    Also be sure she understands that the visit will just be talking to each other on a telephone while looking at each other through a window (or whatever the conditions are). No touching, etc.

  7. #7
    Yppej
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    Quote Originally Posted by i3700 View Post

    My daughter seems to find the idea of her mom having to wearing a uniform, sharing a room funny. I wonder why she would think it is funny. My wife says bring her if she would like to and my daughter says she would like to but I don't know if it is a good idea. She hasn't gone yet so we can still discuss it together.
    It is funny because it is a role reversal. Kids often have to share a room with a sibling, now it's the adult who has to. Kids sometimes have to wear uniforms (to school, Girls Scouts, etc) now the adult does.

    Let her go.

  8. #8
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    I agree - let her visit, but definitely go with her. It could also present a good opportunity for conversation between both you and your daughter after the visit.
    To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer." Mahatma Gandhi
    Be nice whenever possible. It's always possible. HH Dalai Lama
    In a world where you can be anything - be kind. Unknown

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