PTSD and parents dying

[Tybee]

Mom's trial completed and all the guardianships/conservatorships set up.

Now the problem is a large house out of state that must be emptied and sold.

[Yppej]

Mom's trial completed and all the guardianships/conservatorships set up.

Now the problem is a large house out of state that must be emptied and sold.

Take a deep breath. You're running a marathon not a sprint. Wishing you the best in the next chapter of the saga.

[happystuff]

Mom's trial completed and all the guardianships/conservatorships set up.

Now the problem is a large house out of state that must be emptied and sold.

Congratulations - those are two big accomplishments! Good luck with the house.

[Tybee]

Thank you, Yppej. You're right, I find I am holding my breath, even right now.

[iris lilies]

Thank you, Yppej. You're right, I find I am holding my breath, even right now.

That is a good first step, setting up the conservatorship.

I know that you have a lot of trouble with your siblings, at least a lot of trouble with at least one of them. Have you formulated in your mind a path forward in how you will deal with him?

It seems to me that your presence isn’t really required in the house and stuff clean out, is it? I say this because you already took photographs and mementos.

I think it’s great that you were instrumental in getting your mother settled into a better care home. That was a wonderful service you did for her.I believe you when you say you’re more interested in what happens to your mother than what happens to her house and her stuff, unlike your siblings.

So can you look at this logically? Could you let your siblings deal with the physical objects of your mother’s estate while you put your focus on her well being and health? the “stuff” of her estate really doesn't matter, especially since it is easy to sell real estate most anywhere in this market.

Do you know what your sibs will demand from you in the estate clean up? Is it possible they would prefer you not be involved at all?

[herbgeek]

Mom's trial completed and all the guardianships/conservatorships set up.

Now the problem is a large house out of state that must be emptied and sold.

So glad this part is done for you. We are still in the emptying stage. We threw out a lot and had a free table for the neighborhood for the little stuff. The furniture that is worth saving is going to a charity organization. We also have to remove the oil tank (or find out if we can fill the empty tank with sand or similar) that is buried in the yard before listing it for sale. My parents had a thousand gallon tank installed, too big to put in the house and burying it was what they did back then- no longer legal due to the possibility of leaks into the ground. My sister is interviewing a real estate agent next week. The house is so so dated, only one full bath that is the original beige. Dad installed a half bath downstairs, and its not what I'd call a professional installation. Lots of outdated floral wallpaper. We are removing the wall to wall carpet that was installed on day one- there are beautiful hardwood floors underneath that don't need any work. On the plus side, they added a full length room to the back of the house maybe 10 years ago that has sliding glass doors along the whole length and looks quite modern, the addition was 2 story with a workshop and lots of storage underneath.

[Tybee]

herbgeek, it sounds like you are doing a great job together--is your parents' house local to you? That would make this a lot easier, and is definitely part of our problem. The nearest of us are a thousand miles away.

I bet the your parents' house will sell easily, in this market.

[herbgeek]

My parents house is an hour away, so the emptying/sorting work has been easy to do on my own time. I cant imagine trying to do this remotely.

[Tybee]

You have been doing so much--yes, it's kind of only possible to do it right if you are within a couple of hours drive.

[Teacher Terry]

Tybee, I thought you moved to be closer to your parents and that you and your siblings only lived a few hours away. If not after people take what they want if no one wants to tackle the situation just hire a junk removal company.