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Thread: PTSD and parents dying

  1. #1
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    PTSD and parents dying

    Okay, I am not minimizing PTSD and in fact suffered from it years ago from an abusive spouse and a life-threatening illness, so I am not minimizing it.
    But I'm wondering if I am suffering now from it from the last 8 years or so of dealing with my family and my parents and particularly my bullying brother.
    I am really struggling with things like heart racing when I see another email from him, feeling depressed for days and having sleeping difficulties as this court thing hangs on, and things go wrong, and I get their emails, of all of these people, all of whom seem to ignore the reality of my mom's condition and just want to spend all this time talking about her money and her property.

    I wonder how long it takes to get over this--if she dies before me (and some days I wonder) will it all get put to rest, or will it take til the estate is settled and these people are out of my life forever? Any practical suggestions on how to deal?

    Doctor prescribed antidepressant but it gave me muscle tics and twitches and increased anxiety, which she said it might.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    I would try a different medication. Except for reading emails I would cut the horrible brother out of your life.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
    I would try a different medication. Except for reading emails I would cut the horrible brother out of your life.
    Thanks, Terry. I pretty much have but he is supposedly coming out in person soon.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tybee View Post
    Doctor prescribed antidepressant but it gave me muscle tics and twitches and increased anxiety, which she said it might.
    I take a Buspirone HCL 5mg tablet twice a day when I'm going through an extremely stressful situation like you are. Buspirone is an anti-anxiety drug, not anti-depression, and it sounds like you have depression triggered by anxiety, not just plain depression. So ask your doctor about Buspirone to see if it will work better for you and not have side effects.

    BTW: I'm speaking from experience here as a fellow PTSD person whose PTSD manifests as anxiety that triggers depression. IOW this is not medical advice, just a friendly suggestion of something you might want to ask your doctor about.

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    Thank you, George, that sounds like really, really good advice, about the depression triggered by anxiety, yeah, that's me.

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    Yes--as I alluded to in an unrelated post, I've become gun-shy over the years, for many reasons. I just want to go somewhere stress-free and zone out. As if there were such a place.

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    Right now, unfortunately, the place that meets that definition is my bed. I get it.

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    Senior Member herbgeek's Avatar
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    I've got no suggestions Tybee, just want to say I'm in a similar boat with both brothers angry and focused on the value of the parental property. They thought that when Dad died, there would be a disbursement and so now are angry to find out no, everything goes to Mom. It is only when Mom dies does anyone get anything, assuming its not all eaten up by her assisted living costs. Younger brother and his gf came down 2 weeks ago to cram as much as they could into her Prius (I assume to sell on ebay or barter with neighbors). He was all upset we had thrown so much in the dumpster before he got there. He said we were insufficiently sentimental, but I suspect he saw $$$ in his eyes that he could have sold that stuff. My sister's house is already over full, I have everything I need, so why would I take stuff just to take stuff? There were a few small items that fit in a grocery bag that I went home with. My mother's taste is not my taste, I don't want stuff I consider ugly to clutter up my house just because my mother purchased it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by herbgeek View Post
    I've got no suggestions Tybee, just want to say I'm in a similar boat with both brothers angry and focused on the value of the parental property. They thought that when Dad died, there would be a disbursement and so now are angry to find out no, everything goes to Mom. It is only when Mom dies does anyone get anything, assuming its not all eaten up by her assisted living costs.
    Yes, this is the same situation--I keep hearing that Abba song, Winner Takes It All

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92cwKCU8Z5c

    because it seemed they had been banking on her going first.

  10. #10
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    I find it hard to believe that rational people would be surprised household wealth belongs to the woman who helped to accumulate it. I mean, why would children think they will automatically get a cut of the parental wealth if one parent dies?

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