Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 18 of 18

Thread: Parent(s) ashes

  1. #11
    Senior Member Simplemind's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    1,404
    Curious what your mother's thoughts are on the disposition of the remains. Sounds like he just want to have things done and isn't taking anybody's feelings into consideration. I would want it settled as well but not at the expense of other's feelings.

  2. #12
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    13,671
    I'm glad that everyone I cared about is buried at Willamette National (veteran's) Cemetery outside of Portland.

  3. #13
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    5,850
    Brother met my email sent with attempt to explore options, including splitting ashes, with a hostile email saying fine, we'll do nothing, and I wrote back attempting to placate him saying whatever he wanted to do was absolutely fine and we should do whatever made him feel better. Other brother called to say he did not know why older brother was bullying me but he had noticed and thought it was because older brother was grieving. (There is no excuse in my book for the way he is acting, but it's probably an explanation, I was scapegoated in the family and he is doing what he always did to me.)

    I appreciate all the comments here and have been working through and thinking about them all. My mom has no thoughts about disposition of remains as she has severe dementia and does not remember my father. Jane, I wish my dad had wanted to be buried at the veterans cemetary in Beaufort, but he did not. It sure would have made the whole thing simpler for both of them.

  4. #14
    Senior Member herbgeek's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    2,567
    I wrote back attempting to placate him
    You realize this is impossible, right?

  5. #15
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    5,850
    That's my problem, herbgeek, realizing this and acting on that knowledge. So many years of bullying, so many years of kow towing. There is no placating him; he seems to be losing it, which makes me wonder about his mental status--forgetting things, losing things, etc.

  6. #16
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    4,378
    So sorry this is continuing to be so hard, Tybee. I hope things get settled quickly and you all can move on.
    To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer." Mahatma Gandhi
    Be nice whenever possible. It's always possible. HH Dalai Lama
    In a world where you can be anything - be kind. Unknown

  7. #17
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    5,850
    Thank you, happystuff!

  8. #18
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    5,850
    On a much happier ancestry note, I am going through my grandmother's photo album and have reached out to my dad's first cousin as I have many photos of her grandmother and grandfather, including on their wedding day, and of her mother as a small child. I also found two letters from her mother to my grandfather, so hopefully she will want them, and I can get these to their rightful owner.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •