Quote Originally Posted by Oddball View Post
On paper, their affairs are reasonably in order. They have wills and medical directives and have done significant (50 percent) downsizing. I don't know all of their financial details, but I have access to their accounts and know where their files are.

However, there is no clarity about how they will get out of their house. It's three stories. They could live on the first floor if they had to, and this seems to be their plan. If it's their deepest desire, I'd rather think about how to help them do this than try to persuade them otherwise. Maybe they will change their minds at some point, but I think it will need to be their idea.
Hello Oddball, perhaps chiming in a bit late here but the above is somewhat similar to my late parents' situation except for the 50% decluttering. Mom died in 2015, Dad in 2017. On paper they had everything together: will/trust, medical and financial POAs. But their house? Stuffed to the gills from years of accumulation not only of their things but they also stored both a lot of stuff from both sets of grandparents. They did do some downsizing of large items such as a camper, a piano, some big equipment, their 2nd car but there came a point where Mom was no longer physically able to do it and Dad, well just wanted to do other things. Eventually the spaces they cleared out got replaced with more stuff. Going through the stuff was a nightmare complicated by a difficult sibling who was the executor (long story is posted on another thread).

We started decluttering after Mom died and while Dad was still alive. I wasn't sure that was a good idea even though Dad said he was OK with it at first but it was obvious he was being pushed into it by executor sibling. As time went on, he became more stressed by the process because same sibling kept pushing for more than what he was comfortable with. At that point, I said we should stop because unless it's really his idea, this wasn't going to work.