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Thread: The Vultures Part 2

  1. #11
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by razz View Post
    IL needs to improve her dictation into the phone to avoid such confusion.
    oh my dictation ap! Blame it all on that! Yes, true.

    “when the will is read” is what I said. I’ll not correct it because you guys are being funny.

  2. #12
    Senior Member boss mare's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tybee View Post
    Gee, these relatives sound like a real pain, real takers.
    Your DH is not the uncle's guardian, is he? If he is not his guardian, he has no legal standing to prohibit them from visiting the uncle in the nursing home.
    He is his POA for financial. medical and executor of his will. The reason that the assisted place called him is that R and Ra have been MIA in his life for four years. and all of a sudden, they show up and they are fawning all over him. Ra is a nurse and is extremely intrusive and tries to act like she knows more than she does. She was questioning the assisted living supervisor about his meds and putting in her two cents worth and was being very pushy. So, they contacted DH about them.

  3. #13
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tybee View Post
    Maybe "when the will is read?"
    Good guess, Tybee!

  4. #14
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    It's definitely something to run by a lawyer. The financial POA does not give anyone the right to limit his visitors. The medical one might, if you can show that they are detrimental to his peace of mind. Guardianship would, and medical POA has more power over the circumstances of their lives. Which is not to say the facility will not do whatever your husband asks, but they may not be doing it legally. And so they might go to court to challenge that.

    Lots of people use POA's more like a guardianship. But they are not in our state, but maybe this is a durable POA, or springing, where if he becomes incapacitated the POA then converts to a guardianship. But where I live, you would not be able to prohibit the other family from visiting.

  5. #15
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    In all of this I don’t know how incapacitated the old uncle is.


    But the old uncle himself could tell the nursing home people: keep these people away from me, dont let them in. He likely doesn’t have the will to do that however, even if his brain is fully functonal.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by iris lilies View Post
    In all of this I donít know how incapacitated the old uncle is.


    But the old uncle himself could tell the nursing home people: keep these people away from me, dont let them in. He likely doesnít have the will to do that however, even if his brain is fully functonal.
    Exactly right, and maybe he already did. I would!

  7. #17
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    Also the assisted living facility is private property, they're within their rights to ask visitors to leave if they're stressing out and/or upsetting the residents, or making it difficult for the employees to do their jobs.

  8. #18
    Senior Member boss mare's Avatar
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    I would like to make clear... Dh's Brother and SIL (R and Ra) are allowed to visit UB. The assisted living workers just gave us a heads up about the unusual and frequent visits of R and Ra . and Ra nosey and intrusive questioning about his medical his story.

  9. #19
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    The advances of money and a vehicle to R & R (in advance of probate) have an odor of elder abuse about them.

    With (non-violent) communication, it may be possible to reach a cordial understanding among all the heirs that advances to any heirs are definitely not in Uncle B's interest. DH, as Power of Attorney for financial matters, can declare that from now on, he will act in the interest of Uncle B to prevent any gifts or payments other than customary charges for services rendered for Uncle B's care and comfort.

    In 1859 it was said, "a Buncombe Fence is horse high, bull strong, and pig tight."

    Without endorsement (I have not personally done business with the organization), there are third party bill-payers/check-writers, such as Silverbills. When DH and Uncle B and the financial advisor do meet, perhaps they would agree to put payments in the hands of Silverbills, to erect a Buncombe fence.

    I do not know what state Uncle B resides in. Certain states have become hotspots for abusive guardianships. But several other states have passed legislation to implement "Supported Decision-Making" as an alternative to guardianships: Texas, Delaware, Alaska, District of Columbia, Indiana, Nevada, North Dakota, Rhode Island, Louisiana, Colorado.

  10. #20
    Senior Member boss mare's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dado potato View Post
    The advances of money and a vehicle to R & R (in advance of probate) have an odor of elder abuse about them.

    With (non-violent) communication, it may be possible to reach a cordial understanding among all the heirs that advances to any heirs are definitely not in Uncle B's interest. DH, as Power of Attorney for financial matters, can declare that from now on, he will act in the interest of Uncle B to prevent any gifts or payments other than customary charges for services rendered for Uncle B's care and comfort.

    In 1859 it was said, "a Buncombe Fence is horse high, bull strong, and pig tight."

    Without endorsement (I have not personally done business with the organization), there are third party bill-payers/check-writers, such as Silverbills. When DH and Uncle B and the financial advisor do meet, perhaps they would agree to put payments in the hands of Silverbills, to erect a Buncombe fence.

    I do not know what state Uncle B resides in. Certain states have become hotspots for abusive guardianships. But several other states have passed legislation to implement "Supported Decision-Making" as an alternative to guardianships: Texas, Delaware, Alaska, District of Columbia, Indiana, Nevada, North Dakota, Rhode Island, Louisiana, Colorado.
    Thank You so much for your input Everyone one here in this debacle lives in SW Washington

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