Regarding photos: We moved three times in ten years, downsizing each time. The first time we moved boxes of photos in their dated envelopes. The second time, we went through every envelope and allowed ourselves a selection of one or two photos. We digitized these, put captions on them, and tossed the rest.
It was hard, but it was necessary.
When I was married to my second husband we moved ourselves because he was very careful and I knew nothing would get ruined. With husband 3 I hired movers because I had nice furniture and I knew he wouldn’t be careful. I am a Cancer and the older I get the less sentimental. I was more so when younger but moving cross country a few times with 5 people gave me the cure.
It's so good for me to read threads like these because it's totally clear to me that I could easily end up like your friend the closet hoarder if I don't stay vigilant. I've made a lot of progress over the last six years, but there's no guarantee I won't backslide. I definitely have serious hoarder tendencies, and I don't want to leave my only child with a lot of stuff to deal with.
I once went to a meeting of Clutterers Anonymous and was struck by the fact that almost everyone there was over 60. I think hoarding is a "progressive disease" (as alcoholism can be), and many people who stay on top of it when they are younger find it gets out of hand later.
Helped the sister of a friend condense her storage units today. She has/had 1 large unit and 1 smaller unit, which we condensed down to the 1 large unit. (She has moved out of state and is waiting to "land", so....).
Glad to help her but was proud of myself for drawing some lines. I did NOT bring home everything she had in the donation pile, as I just don't have room for all of it! I did take some stuff and provided her with some contact information on three local thrift stores for her to contact tomorrow. Of the stuff I bought home, 11 brand new canning jars will stay, seeing if a neighbor wants some fishing stuff, and the rest is packed up and ready for my next donation pickup. Good day all around!
To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer." Mahatma Gandhi
Be nice whenever possible. It's always possible. HH Dalai Lama
In a world where you can be anything - be kind. Unknown
I find working with friends to help move, or clearing spaces to get ready to sell really helps me at my house to try to keep the clutter down. Also, remembering almost 6 years ago I got rid of almost everything I owned to move out here has helped. Living in the tiny apartment behind the gallery for three years definitely helped. But now I have a 1500 sq. ft. house on almost an acre and the creep of stuff is happening. But it's all good stuff, and useful for the life I have now. Art is on the walls, books are in the shelves, and nice kitchen equipment allows us to cook good meals every night.
I can see myself, years down the road when I have inevitably outlived my current husband, doing the whole down-sizing thing once again. There is no way I could handle this house on my own, so I would have to sell. But for now, I am going to enjoy this lifestyle I never thought I could have. And declutter stuff that is not useful to me. Our little town has an amazing flow of goods from person-to-person. The travels various useful items get is truly amazing! I have two previously owned decent leather couches I got for free!
Enjoy your life, SQ. What a remarkable adventure you are having with your move to NM.
As Cicero said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”
A few years ago, I did something similar. Mostly vacation photos still have to finish going through personal / family photos but at this point I whittled it down to 2 small boxes. I hope by the time I am done it's down to just one box.Originally Posted by Simone
One time DH and I moved some friends of his. In spite of knowing months in advance they were moving, they were not in any way prepared when we (and other friends) showed up. Just by luck, we had a commitment later that day that required us to leave by a certain time (1-2 PM) and we said so from the outset. We packed up their stuff in their condo and were getting ready to leave when they said "wait there's more" and opened up their garage. It was packed floor to ceiling, to much groaning. We left anyway but it sure showed us the importance of setting limits, even if it was by chance that time.
I had a side hustle as a professional organizer for about 10-12 years before I shut it down the end of 2019 (guess i had a feeling?). At any rate, I did try to help a couple of hoarders, against my own best judgment. I didn't have the training for it. I think they enjoyed working with me and I tried to be patient, but neither would work on the "homework" i gave them between sessions. I found this website to be helpful - it's called "challenging disorganization" not hoarding now. Lots of ways folks experience it. I do think it's linked to mental illness. Both of the folks I tried to help said they wanted a less cluttered home so their adult children and grandchildren would feel welcome, but their attachments to family mementos and collections were too strong.
https://www.challengingdisorganizati...oarding-scale-
"Do not accumulate for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and thieves break in and steal. But accumulate for yourselves treasure in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, your heart is also." Jesus
The only things I still am deeply attached to at 72 are those my mother made. On these last moves, I began letting many of them go. I agree with you that moving long distances, especially to smaller places, really helped.
Today I sat and had a long chat with a garden club friend who is 80 years old. She’s talking about moving out of her house of 40 some years. Her new place must have three bedrooms. Three! She must have three bedrooms! Because there are so many things that she must take with her, she will not give them up! She is the only person in her household.
i’m just shaking my head. It’s going to be quite a while until she finds a condo with three bedrooms on one floor which she must have. It all have to be on one floor, but a condo. Not a ranch house. Although did she did say that she could live with two bedrooms on one floor and the third bedroom could be down in the basement.
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