Moving decision - head or heart?

[Teacher Terry]

Where do you want to live if you outlive your husband? If you decided not to move back you could fly or take the train instead of driving. Some of my Wisconsin friends wanted me to move back after the divorce but I love it here. I love my kids, friends and the weather.

[rosarugosa]

What about doing something like Frugal-one is planning, and buy a mobile home in a retirement or over-55 community in TX as a second home?

[catherine]

I pinch myself that I made my dream to move here come true - I love being here....

I don't know. That sounds like the answer. It sounds like issue is, how to be sure that you can be part of your grandkids' lives in a meaningful way--not should you move to be with them (and not really "with them"--two hours away).

When I think about my relationships with the elders that I loved, it was all about that really trite phrase "quality time, not quantity time." A couple of weeks a year even--either you going there or them going coming up to see "grandma and grandpa" can become wonderful, life-changing memories. Colorado is a wonderful place for kids to go to for summer vacations.

So if the grandkids are the only reason you would move back, and you love Colorado, I'm in the camp of setting up nice budget for visits, and for hosting the kids/grandkids in Colorado.

[Tybee]

Yes, when you say, "I love being here," and "I hate the idea of going back to Texas," it makes me worried for your happiness if you do sell the place in Colorado and move back to Texas. But you have a very legitimate need and desire to have the grandchildren know you are in their lives and get to see them more often. Is there a way to accomplish that, maybe go part of the year and rent an air b n b, or make six trips a year for two weeks at a time, or something like that?

We are trying to figure out how to see my son in another state and those grandchildren way more often, so I totally get where you are coming from. Your heart is divided, it sounds like.

[jp1]

As I mentioned on rob’s thread about libraries when I was growing up my favorite aunt regularly had me for visits without the rest of my family (occasionally my sister also came but she spent much of the time with our cousins of a different aunt/uncle). I will forever remember fondly the time spent with my aunt. And it was easy because we lived about 5 hours away so my parents would drive me halfway and then I’d get in my aunt’s car to go the rest of the way. Colorado to texas is a bigger trip and would likely need airplanes and all the complication of kids traveling alone by plane, but you could work that out and then have them for visits where you could be a part of their lives. And they would get the benefit of learning how to do stuff like travel independently and be away from their parents for a period of time. Finding some sort of inexpensive way of being in Texas part of the time isnt a bad idea but it’s also not the only idea.

[pinkytoe]

I sometimes imagine they might enjoy having the Colorado connection as I did growing up - a way to escape the stifling Texas summers. We are headed to the high country for a few days and will revisit this whole business when we get back. Leaning more and more, especially with the uncertainty of the economy right now, that it might not even be a good time to move anyway.

[sweetana3]

Small point: Are you assuming you will have a big significant part in the grandkids life if you move 2 hours away in TX? This will add another layer of timing to the activities that the kids have with parents and another set of grandparents who live very close. Will you be the one traveling every time to see their games, to be at their birthdays, and what about holidays? A two hour drive done more than a couple of times is LONG (for us anyway). Who will host the holidays and will you two be traveling all the time? And kids change over time and often do not like being required to travel often to others homes over and over again.

We lived in Alaska and saw our grandparents seldomly, but I sure remember the times they came and stayed for longer than a couple of days. We did fun things and I got to know them. Memories were created. This was during the days where we could not Facetime with people to extend the relationships when they were not around.