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Thread: Simple aresponsibility

  1. #1
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Simple aresponsibility

    I mentioned in the "what are you reading" thread that I read How To Do Nothing--Resisting the Attention Economy. I wound up recommending it to my DIL. She ordered it. My son saw it on the couch and, not knowing I was the one to recommend it, said to himself, "I bet Mom would love that book"--and he ordered a copy and had it sent to me.

    So when he told me he sent me the book, I told him that I was the one to recommend it to his wife! We laughed about that and I told him that he definitely knows me well!!

    He mentioned that DIL finished the book and moved on to taking the next step: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. So I read the reviews and am now reading it. DIL and I are on the same path to Krishnamurti's brand of happiness--"Here is my secret: I don't mind what happens."

    We have been dog sitting DD/DSIL's dog for a while until she can get him acclimated to the new baby. So the discussion goes back to, do I want a dog again? The answer is still no. As I said to my son, "I have spent my whole life been responsible for a lot of things. I don't want to be responsible anymore. I want to be irresponsible."

    I don't like being irresponsible, so I think what I want to be is aresponsible-- meaning responsible for as little as possible, except for the things that truly call to me. I really think aresponsibility (which isn't a word but I think I should offer it up to Webster's) is a good hallmark of the simple life.

    What do you think?
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
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    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    I had The Simple Art of Not Giving a FUNK on reserve the library for a long time but the line was so long I gave up.

    I’m in the twilight years of my life and I’m not gonna beat myself up about having too much stuff, But I have only the amount of stuff that I like to have.

    But I will tell you that I almost posted a rant yesterday about how I spent the entire afternoon driving electronics around town trying to deal with them. This is representative of having TOO DAMN much stuff.

    . I had one of those modems that I’m supposed to mail back to the provider but the serial numbers didn’t match so I didn’t know what the funk That meant and I had to come back and call the provider and spend an hour on the phone in order to have them tell me “oh often our serial numbers that we sent to you in email are wrong so just ignore them. “ thank you assholes.


    And then I’m here with a broken iPad I’m trying to unload, but I don’t know where to take it. The electronics recycling place moved across the river to another state and I’m not going to drive over there to get rid of a tiny iPad mini. I don’t know who else takes them.

    And then I drove all the hell the way out to Outer Yahoo Ville to visit the garage door company that services our condo garage because I needed to order additional remote controls. They don’t know how to order another one because I don’t know what kind of “operating system “our old garage has. These are the people who service it. So I’m supposed to climb up on a ladder and take a photograph of the operating system to find a name, any name on it. That is complete bullshit. So now I’m thinking about trading my heated garage space for a surface parking spot, trading with somebody in my condo building.

  3. #3
    Senior Member littlebittybobby's Avatar
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    I have spent a considerable amount of time, making sure my petts have a nice yummy din-din. Yeppers. For examplew, I mixed up their oral anti-parasitic meds with canned food, and melted a 1/3 stick of butter in my repaired, sparingly-used microwave, to mix with it, to make it more palatable(yummy). How do you like that?

  4. #4
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post
    ...

    We have been dog sitting DD/DSIL's dog for a while until she can get him acclimated to the new baby. So the discussion goes back to, do I want a dog again? The answer is still no. As I said to my son, "I have spent my whole life been responsible for a lot of things. I don't want to be responsible anymore. I want to be irresponsible."

    I don't like being irresponsible, so I think what I want to be is aresponsible-- meaning responsible for as little as possible, except for the things that truly call to me. I really think aresponsibility (which isn't a word but I think I should offer it up to Webster's) is a good hallmark of the simple life.

    What do you think?
    I couldn't agree more. I've been totally responsible for everything forever, and I'm so over it.

  5. #5
    Senior Member KayLR's Avatar
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    Aresponsible---I like it, Catherine! I do not like being the shoulder of so much family weight. A lot of it is brought upon myself.

    I wonder if some of it is not wanting to be "not responsible" yet at the same time, wanting to be productive in some way. I have yet to give myself the grace of not accomplishing something on a given day.
    My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already!

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    Simply the fact that I am still working makes me "responsible" for several/many things. I keep wondering how much I can let go/walk away from when I am no longer in the work force. I'm looking forward to finding out!
    To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer." Mahatma Gandhi
    Be nice whenever possible. It's always possible. HH Dalai Lama
    In a world where you can be anything - be kind. Unknown

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    Quote Originally Posted by JaneV2.0 View Post
    I couldn't agree more. I've been totally responsible for everything forever, and I'm so over it.
    This speaks to me. I no longer want plants, flowers, a house that requires too much maintenance or anything that I HAVE to do every day. I have always valued experiences over things and am more so now. I never cared what other people had or thought. I never bought into the big house or fancy car mentality... thankfully.

  8. #8
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    Aresponsibility sounds like a simple living tenet to me. I am watching soon-to-be 40yo DD's suburban life from afar with all its unnecessary complications - those things we are raised up to think we should do. Big house, cars, pets, babies, new furniture and so on. They had to have a very expensive dog (that her husband just had to have) put down due to very aggressive behavior. After thousands spent on vet bills, training in hopes it would calm down, etc. I get my dog fix by walking around the park and seeing other people's dogs. I do however still have two cats - but so far - they are easy as pie to care for. Plants and gardening are my medicine so not giving that up just yet.

  9. #9
    Junior Member Portuguese John Here's Avatar
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    This is a good thread.

    I'm currently on a struggle precisely about that, responsibility.

    I'm about to make a career path that is not based on responsibility for others, and that means I won't make the amounts of money I could make.

    That also means I have to open the door to possible hardships later on, right now, I embrace that possibility.

    People take responsibility from tradition, and once they're in, it's very hard to leave it, because you have a job, with responsibilities in order to keep it, and you have to keep it in order to have a family, and after family means a house, and a house means mortgage, more responsibility, and the greatest responsibility of all, children's. Some may argue that responsibility is what makes you cherish those things.

    About Krishnamurti's, he said those words in Ojai 1977, if you click the link, scroll to the first comment, which I made, you can see the minute he said that.

    Here's the full quotation, anyhow:
    I have no problem because I don't mind what happens. I don't mind If I fail or succeed. I don't mind if I have money or not money, personally I have no money, thank god. I don't want money, but I need food and clothes and shelter, and if somebody gives me it's all right. If somebody doesn't, I live where I am. I have no problem because I don't demand anything from anybody, or from life.
    There's people that did all that responsibility business and left it all once they saw the retribution was not sufficient. I recently saw a video on a YouTube channel I enjoy very much, Soft White Underbelly. It's about a man, Joe. He had a career is sales, and one day decided to leave everything and have a life without responsibility, he's homless, so he took it to the extreme. There's also another video, also a man, Craig, he's on the streets because he wants his life to be simple.

    The system we all live, that works, is based and founded on responsibility. The greatest minds we have today, those who are also some of the richest, have enormous levels of responsibility, they are the reason we have so much innovation, advancement, people that accept responsibility are those who cures the diseases that would kill us.

    Life is leading me more and more towards Joe's and Craig's, not to the extreme of being homeless by my own choice, I would be one if I had to, but I don't want responsibility, I don't think money alone is enough to pay for responsibility, since it takes a lot of stress and energy from you. I'm a responsible person nonetheless, I want those around me to be okay.

  10. #10
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    I guess it depends, probably on age... I had SO MUCH responsibility throughout my life that now, when I am older, I want none of it. People try to guilt me into volunteering but it doesn't work. I have done my share and now am done with that too.

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