Simple aresponsibility

[Teacher Terry]

I am really enjoying condo living because it’s so easy. My backyard is my balcony overlooking a beautiful courtyard. I have 3 plants and 2 dogs to take care of and enjoy doing it. Also my condo is only 833 sq ft so easy to clean and keep neat. It’s so relaxing to own just enough and really love the things I have.

[rosarugosa]

I never wanted to be responsible for children, and so I didn't have any, but I do rather enjoy tending to our cats and our plants and our garden. Those can be considered as experiences in my book - quiet, everyday experiences. I've gotten to spend a lot of time watering plants during this drought, and I find it to be a fairly pleasant activity.
I can't say that I particularly enjoy having so much responsibility for my mother, but I'm trying my best to rise to the occasion.

[catherine]

That also means I have to open the door to possible hardships later on, right now, I embrace that possibility.

People take responsibility from tradition, and once they're in, it's very hard to leave it, because you have a job, with responsibilities in order to keep it, and you have to keep it in order to have a family, and after family means a house, and a house means mortgage, more responsibility, and the greatest responsibility of all, children's. Some may argue that responsibility is what makes you cherish those things.

About Krishnamurti's, he said those words in Ojai 1977, if you click the link, scroll to the first comment, which I made, you can see the minute he said that.

Here's the full quotation, anyhow:


There's people that did all that responsibility business and left it all once they saw the retribution was not sufficient. I recently saw a video on a YouTube channel I enjoy very much, Soft White Underbelly. It's about a man, Joe. He had a career is sales, and one day decided to leave everything and have a life without responsibility, he's homless, so he took it to the extreme. There's also another video, also a man, Craig, he's on the streets because he wants his life to be simple.

The system we all live, that works, is based and founded on responsibility. The greatest minds we have today, those who are also some of the richest, have enormous levels of responsibility, they are the reason we have so much innovation, advancement, people that accept responsibility are those who cures the diseases that would kill us.

Life is leading me more and more towards Joe's and Craig's, not to the extreme of being homeless by my own choice, I would be one if I had to, but I don't want responsibility, I don't think money alone is enough to pay for responsibility, since it takes a lot of stress and energy from you. I'm a responsible person nonetheless, I want those around me to be okay.

Interesting stuff here.

As many here know, I have an ambivalent attitude towards money--I have had long stretches of hardship because of lack of money, but at the same time, I don't trust money and I don't subscribe its importance as many do in this culture. That's why I read authors who write about the gift economy, and about others who have eschewed money in their lives--my favorite is Daniel Suelo (The Man Who Quit Money by Mark Sundeen. I also have Mark Boyle's book Moneyless Manifesto, Peace Pilglrim's book, and a book called Twelve by Twelve about a doctor who lived in a 12x12 cabin as a Thoreauvian form of political protest.

I have made good money for the last 20 years, so that's the other side of the ambivalence coin--but I can almost agree with Krishnamurti when he said "I don't have money, thank God." I wouldn't go that far, but I have been responsible enough with my money to spread it around for providing for my family, paying for college educations, paying bills, and living a life free from the stress of poverty.

But the other interesting thing you said was "The system we all live, that works, is based and founded on responsibility. The greatest minds we have today, those who are also some of the richest, have enormous levels of responsibility, they are the reason we have so much innovation, advancement, people that accept responsibility are those who cures the diseases that would kill us." I'm not sure how tightly money is correlated with fulfilling a sense of responsibility. I think for many of these accomplished people the sense of responsibility stems from the drive to accomplish a "calling" rather than the accumulation of wealth. Steve Jobs famously lived in an unfurnished house, and had one black "uniform" because he didn't care about the trappings of money--he was driven by his vision for the technology that is enabling us to communicate right now. So when I talk about being aresponsible, I mean that I will always be responsible to my family, I try to be responsible for my health. Being aresponisble to me means not feeling an overblown sense of responsibility for others or other distractions--it means removing my sense of responsibility for anything that dilutes my responsibility to my "soul-force" and the callings I hear from it.

[Portuguese John Here]

That's why I read authors who write about the gift economy, and about others who have eschewed money in their lives--my favorite is Daniel Suelo (The Man Who Quit Money by Mark Sundeen. I also have Mark Boyle's book Moneyless Manifesto, Peace Pilglrim's book, and a book called Twelve by Twelve about a doctor who lived in a 12x12 cabin as a Thoreauvian form of political protest.

I've read both of these authors, Suelo's blog has interesting philosophies, although, the reason I found him interesting was to know how he lived without money, day-to-day.

I'm not sure how tightly money is correlated with fulfilling a sense of responsibility. I think for many of these accomplished people the sense of responsibility stems from the drive to accomplish a "calling" rather than the accumulation of wealth.

You look at Elon Musk, the guy was heavily bullied at a younger age, admitted to a hospital after being beaten, but he liked science, and he was in his room all day imagining and learning, it's exactly a calling like you said, and a complete delivery to that calling, that's what made them who they are, and after they create the products, or service we all needed for the betterment of civilization, for advancement, you can disagree with advancement, but we as a specie have many things that could kill us, and this system that promotes competition allocates money to the hands of those who promote that advancement, afterwards responsibility comes along, and they have to embrace it, and they do, I mean, the creator of Facebook, so many people dislike him, he said a couple of days ago that he wakes up with a knot in the stomach, the cellphone full of notifications of problems to solve. Bill Gates left Microsoft CEO position to promote progress by creating toilets, because he understands that water will be the most important asset in the future, he can do that because he made billions previously, and maybe, he will make even more money in the future if the product he creates is the innovation society needs.

So when I talk about being aresponsible, I mean that I will always be responsible to my family, I try to be responsible for my health. Being aresponisble to me means not feeling an overblown sense of responsibility for others or other distractions--it means removing my sense of responsibility for anything that dilutes my responsibility to my "soul-force" and the callings I hear from it.

In that sense, these people can also be aresponsible, as long as their entire focus is on their calling and nothing else.

[catherine]

In that sense, these people can also be aresponsible, as long as their entire focus is on their calling and nothing else.

Yes! I admire that kind of aresponsibility!

[Rogar]

I have the book, but it's about three books down in my reading order so I may be deviating from the issue. But for some reason lately I've been thinking about what it means to be a "good citizen" in the local community or globally. My thinking is that there are certain basic things that a person should do as a matter of fact without debate that maintain integrity and add some value to the place we live. Basics could be staying informed and voting, recycling, a bit of charitable giving of money or time, maintaining a living space that's clean and in decent repair, eating and shopping responsibly. I don't see it as being long complicated list, but not up for debate. I don't know where being aresponsible fits with being a good citizen.

[catherine]

I don't know where being aresponsible fits with being a good citizen.

I think it's consistent. I looked up "responsible" and the definition is:

"having an obligation to do something, or having control over or care for someone, as part of one's job or role."
"being the primary cause of something and so able to be blamed or credited for it."
"(of a job or position) involving important duties, independent decision-making, or control over others."

I think we all feel a certain sense of being obligated to be part of our communities in a way of serving others, or being part of the organizational process. I am not giving up on being a good family member, community member, or citizen.

Maybe my desire to be aresponsble at this point in my life stems from being first born and a long-time codependent, but there are times now--after all these years--when my inner voice tells me "I don't have to worry about that. I can let it go. That's somebody else's deal." And I can also stop myself from taking on responsibilities that I feel I "should"--"so-and-so asked me to lead this volunteer group, and because she has faith in me and needs my help, I should do it." Being aresponsible is about saying "no" at the right times.

[Tybee]

I think it may be part of getting older and letting go. I enjoy my granddaughters because I get to hang out and do fun stuff and teach them things and enjoy their delightful selves, but my sense of responsibility is somewhat limited. My energy is much more limited that it was when I decided to have their father. So I can see a future when I will want less and less to take care of, just not quite there yet.

[flowerseverywhere]

I was shockingly able to get the Mark Manson book here in maga book banning land at the library and the art of doing nothing is on hold.

I read a daily inspiration every day and a few days ago the essay was about minding your own business. As in not caring what people do that you don't approve of. Like a relative told me they might declare bankruptcy again. They recently took money out of their house to pay for a European trip and credit cards. It has nothing to do with me so why did I have a disapproving opinion of what they are doing? It is none of my business. So I'm thinking the Manson book will be a good read right now for me.

[catherine]

So, back to this topic. DH has something he has to go back to NJ to do. He asked for our DS#1 help (the one who lives in NJ). DS just jumped on it and has it all arranged, schedule outlined, paperwork done already, and instructions clearly delivered to DH in a text.

I was so overwhelmed by his proactive control of this "chore" that I had to thank him in a text and tell him how much I appreciated how "smart" he is. Granted, he's not a kid--he's in his 40s. He should know what to do. But he really took control and my visceral response was, "oh, this is great. I don't have to worry about it." He thanked me profusely for the text--it was "approval" from his mother, which kids like, I guess, but I didn't think of it as being a big deal. I just felt a thank-you was warranted.

I told him, "It makes me feel good that I can loosen my grip on responsibility." That's how I see it. Not that DH isn't responsible--of course he is. But I have someone else, who at this stage being younger by 20+ years, is probably better equipped to handle some things than either DH or me.

It also makes me think that maybe I dwell on my responsibilities too much, and that's why I appreciate it when someone helps me release the pressure.