Cemetery plots

[Tybee]

I am much closer to getting the ashes of my parents and grandparents buried in the earth. I have had a hard time getting columbariums located and no one would return my emails. Found a church on the island where we lived that has a columbarium and is much closer to their old house and town. Rector called me back and he was very kind. I am purchasing three niches, one for parents, one for grandparents, and one for me. That way, if I die any time soon, there is a place to put me, and we're all together. If family doesn't want to use it when I go, they can put me somewhere else, but we have the option, and it will be paid for.

It's very simple, exactly what they all would have wanted if they were selecting a grave site. I really struggled with where to put them, and considered two family plots as well as two public cemeteries, but I know Dad wanted to be buried in consecrated ground. Best of all, it is walking distance to where they were happiest in their lives, and if they choose, they can walk down and have a beer and go fishing on the pier.

[iris lilies]

It is good that you are closing that chapter. You had the burden of GRANDPARENT ashes, too? Good Lord.

[Tybee]

Yes, I did, and one option was trying to lay them to rest with THEIR parents who were so old that they were in the Civil War Veterans part of the cemetery in Omaha. Another cemetery that did not get back to me and answer my email!
They died in the 1960's.

[iris lilies]

Yes, I did, and one option was trying to lay them to rest with THEIR parents who were so old that they were in the Civil War Veterans part of the cemetery in Omaha. Another cemetery that did not get back to me and answer my email!
They died in the 1960's.

That would not be my family. We get the business of the dead done and move on.

Personally, I see this as you breaking a chain of obligatory grief mongering by gently and firmly putting the dead where they belong, their long-term resting place.

You’re being respectful and careful, and I’m sure they appreciate it. Certainly your children will appreciate not having to deal with anyone’s ashes, except perhaps, for the generation immediately above them.

My mother-in-law in ash form was interred in a Swiss cemetery in her hometown. Those folks dig up the interred every – –? 20 years – – Periodically anyway. They have to make room for the newer dead people. I always wonder what happens to the remains they have removed.

[catherine]

I agree with IL.. you are doing this in a very considered, respectful, and loving way.

[Tybee]

I am trying. This one particular church and grounds feels really, really right. It's where my parents were happiest, and my grandparents loved to come visit them there. And it's near my mother's family plot, but not right in it, just like they were in life--close, but they had their own happy place on the island. I was a bit freaked out by writing the check, but it's actually very inexpensive, of all the options-- about the same as the public cemetery upfront, but I think fewer add on charges later. And if I get buried there, too, it would be an easy bike ride to the house where I was born, so I'd be coming full circle.

That is so interesting about the Swiss--they are so practical, aren't they.

[bae]

My family mostly chooses to scatter the ashes to the wind, these days.

[Tybee]

Yes, that is so prevalent now. I think that is why the demand has gone down and it's harder to find a space, perhaps? Here's a photo:



That wall is traditional tabby, which is the oldest form of building on the island, and what our house was-- seashell mixed with lime and sand.

[bae]

Yes, that is so prevalent now. I think that is why the demand has gone down and it's harder to find a space, perhaps? Here's a photo:



That wall is traditional tabby, which is the oldest form of building on the island, and what our house was-- seashell mixed with lime and sand.

My small island has three currently-operating public cemeteries. (Which is three more than the number of ICU beds we have in our medical facility). There's not much room left in them at this point, some have been in use since the 1800s. The smallest of them still exclusively hand-digs the graves - I'm on the team of people who are on-call to do the work, as embalming isn't common practice there because of logistics, and you only have a short period of time to get the job done - we often will pre-dig a grave as the word goes out that there is an upcoming "customer". There is a strong overlap between this grave-digging group, and our fire department's rescue team, as the rescue team assists the county coroner in the movement of almost all the bodies on the island, and it is helpful to the team members to see the whole job to its conclusion.

We do have several businesses here that assist with burial at sea, which is becoming the dominant method locally.

[iris lilies]

Tybee, that spot is very pretty and restful.