Cemetery plots

[happystuff]

My family mostly chooses to scatter the ashes to the wind, these days.

Ditto.

[catherine]

My family mostly chooses to scatter the ashes to the wind, these days.

I think that might be the way we're headed... it will save the kids from "guilt" in terms of feeling obliged to visit a gravesite--DH has that unreasonable guilt because he rarely visits his mother's grave. Of course, she's buried 7 hours away... but he still feels bad.

[pinkytoe]

I've decided that leaving someone my ashes to deal with won't be happening. I have heard several accounts of ashes found in storage sheds or closets because they were never dealt with. When my brother died, I found it very emotionally hard to deal with what to do with his ashes as I had just spent several grueling years being his caretaker. Luckily, a family member stepped in and scattered them in several of his favorite places. A small amount were buried next to our mother's grave along with a stone. It just seems unfair to put that on a family member unless that is something they are comfortable with or are expecting to do.

[catherine]

I've decided that leaving someone my ashes to deal with won't be happening. I have heard several accounts of ashes found in storage sheds or closets because they were never dealt with. When my brother died, I found it very emotionally hard to deal with what to do with his ashes as I had just spent several grueling years being his caretaker. Luckily, a family member stepped in and scattered them in several of his favorite places. A small amount were buried next to our mother's grave along with a stone. It just seems unfair to put that on a family member unless that is something they are comfortable with or are expecting to do.

You raise an excellent point. I STILL have my two dogs' ashes in the little cherrywood boxes they came in. My kids are completely creeped out about it. I do need to do something with them. At one point, Dog Mountain tried a fund-raiser that entailed being able to bury the ashes on their site under a tree sapling. I nearly did it, but put it off, and they don't offer it anymore.

So, I'm thinking I should definitely be very clear about my wishes so they don't have to provide me with shelf space in their homes for years...

[iris lilies]

I think that might be the way we're headed... it will save the kids from "guilt" in terms of feeling obliged to visit a gravesite--DH has that unreasonable guilt because he rarely visits his mother's grave. Of course, she's buried 7 hours away... but he still feels bad.

I told my mom I wanted “a place” to visit my father. That “ place” didn’t have to be a cemetery or a traditional holder of body remains or ashes, it could have been a park or other place of nature. She went the traditional route of cemetery and body buried there. I don’t visit it but I think about it. In fact, I was just recently in that town and thought I should swing by and visit and then forgot. I feel no guilt.

As for dog ashes, I have partial dog ashes, ashes from two dogs. I spread some of their ashes when they died at our old home in the city, but I brought some here to Hermann. As it turns out it’s a good thing and kind of funny, because I take one little container of Teddy Bear’s ashes with me to do a certain job. DH was always kidding me about how Teddy always liked to help me with a certain chore, when we make a cardboard run to the recycling center. So now I put the container of Teddy’s ashes in the car for those trips.

[rosarugosa]

IL: That is hilarious about Teddy running errands with you. That sounds like something we would do!
As mentioned in one of the decluttering threads, I interred all the cats' ashes that were awaiting interment. I can't quite make myself plant Oggie, which might be at least in part because his cremains arrived in such a lovely urn. He is staying put in the living room for now. The other cats are in various garden beds, and now we have Humphrey's Garden, Silvio's Garden, etc.
Mom's ashes will go in the ocean like Dad's did. I like the idea of mine getting scattered in Lynn Woods, although I don't suppose it will really matter to me at that point.

[early morning]

I STILL have my two dogs' ashes in the little cherrywood boxes they came in. My kids are completely creeped out about it. I do need to do something with them. At one point, Dog Mountain tried a fund-raiser that entailed being able to bury the ashes on their site under a tree sapling. I nearly did it, but put it off, and they don't offer it anymore

Catherine, I just returned from visiting Dog Mountain (among lots of other places) and you can scatter pet ashes almost anywhere there, you just can't bury them. It's such a lovely place....

[catherine]

Catherine, I just returned from visiting Dog Mountain (among lots of other places) and you can scatter pet ashes almost anywhere there, you just can't bury them. It's such a lovely place....

Oh, I'm so glad you got to see Dog Mountain! Thanks for letting me know about spreading the ashes. That would be a good reason for a late fall visit up there!

[Tybee]

Let me know when you go--I looked it up on a map when I was looking up Dartmouth Hitchcock and it's not that far.

[catherine]

Let me know when you go--I looked it up on a map when I was looking up Dartmouth Hitchcock and it's not that far.

Will do!