Mine is not as bad as some either, but when I was pregnant with my oldest kid my vehicle broke down and I didn't have money to fix it. For several months I had to walk to work at Starbucks, 3 miles, at 2AM to get there in time for my opening shift. Because I had to walk past a park that was home to a lot of homeless men DH got up every morning and walked with me. It was completely exhausting. I was so sleep deprived.
My blog: www.sunnysideuplife.blogspot.com
Guess why I smile? Because it's worth it. -Marcel the Shell with Shoes
Y'all make me feel so grateful for all the blessings throughout my life - even though "poor", we've never gone hungry or had to live in unsanitary conditions. I need to remember this more often when reading or thinking about all the truly poor around the world today. Our hardest times:
- DH losing his job in '83, we have the 1 yr. old and are living on my part-time income (which has always been a sometimes-fulltime income, it fluctuates so much). I remember switching from jarred baby food to mushed up whatever-we'd-cooked-for-our-meals and whole milk instead of formula for DS, making a pound of bacon or hamburger stretch for 4 meals, and a lot of peanut butter sandwiches. And Granny showing up when we'd invited her to supper with a bag of baby food that she'd "just happened to see on sale at the store and thought we might be able to use it". But we were always able to make the house payment, and pay the utilities (with a very hot summer for us using bare minimum air conditioning), and have food in the house. And still being able to have friends over for a poker night, using chips but no money, and serving popcorn and iced tea for refreshments. There was always money to have popcorn and tea in the house to serve to guests. Good times.
- 2004 or so, when DH became disabled but hadn't yet qualified for SS. But the house was already paid for, so we just tightened our belts and again lived off my fluctuating salary. It never got that bad, I cut a lot of non-essentials (all of which has done me good to this day: magazine subscriptions, book purchases, new clothing, turn off or down the heat or ac), and got even more creative with our home cooking. We still laugh about one of those summers, a coworker of mine became gluten-intolerant and offered me the contents of her cleaned-out kitchen pantry (I think she knew we were going through a "making do" period), and also furnished us all summer with her garden zucchini excess. We grilled zucchini, we baked zucchini, we stir-fried zucchini, we deep-fried zucchini, we shredded and pattied zucchin, we salad-ed zucchinii; a treat that summer for us was a meal that didn't have zucchini as a major component. And guests were still always able to be offered at least a bowl of popcorn and iced tea.
I've said to myself for years that I'm not afraid to go back to being poor, 'cause we've been there and I know we can relearn how to make do. But reading your stories makes me realize that I HAVEN'T ever been truly poor. I've instead been lucky.....
I started to share experience, but they are all of the nature of youth being without ready cash and doing some stupid things (drivng a car with questionable brakes) and taking risks that only the youthful would do.
In the grand scheme of things, I was never without roof and food and didn't have to scrimp for those. I've not been poor.
A major thing about being poor in America is the safety factor. While it can be easy enough to score a meal or free groceries, find clothing at no cost, being or living in places where crime is rampant is a huge part of being poor. That is a huge problem. People being poor enough to watch food pennies, sleep on someone's sofa for 6 months, etc--not a big deal really in the grand scheme of things. Putting yourself in physical danger--that's a big deal.
Loving all these stories. It's amazing how much a family (with babies/young children) can save, just by opting to introduce a few simple/frugal things, like homemade baby food, cloth diapers, and expressed milk/whole milk.
Larknm. I realize people do what they have to do when faced with hard times, but the rats, OMG. Such a strong person you are.
Chrissieq. Pride, is such a strong thing isn't it. We've had to ask for money a few times (both sets of parents), and even though you know family is always there for you, it's still such a hard thing to do.
Zoe Girl. I second your comment- "bulk rice, oatmeal and potatoes", being the best.
Herbgeek. Knowing basic home-cooking is such a godsend. It really is the difference between "make it or break it".
Stella. You're such a trooper, even though I know you didn't have a choice.
Blackdog Lin. How were you diapering at the time? Cloth? Disposable?
Iris Lily. I caught your original entry and really liked it. (Wish you would have kept it).
Reading through everyone's posts, I realize how fortunate I have been, even though I know if push come to shove, I'd do whatever I had to do to keep the household/family going. But even with that said, I do question my ability as to being able to cope with some of the circumstances (and conditions) some of you had to.
Great quote! Thank you for the good laugh!Originally Posted by catherine
Somewhere along the way I missed Catherine's saying. Thanks for bringing it up, Jemima!
My father suffered from an inferiority complex all of his life because of that prejudice. He was born in the early 1900's, long before anyone thought of welfare, and his father, the party boy, abandoned the family for long spells, leaving for good when my father was eleven. The family ate, but not very well, and I have a photo of my father wearing hand-me-downs that would be comical had it not been for real.
People apparently thought nothing of making fun of the poor back then, and it scarred my father deeply. I try to keep a lid on my part Irish temper, but when people make snide remarks about welfare recipients it breaks out of its cage and attacks.
I, too, have been blessed and have only experienced near-poverty once in my life. I'm ashamed to say it was self-inflicted - I got in over my head with credit cards for the second time in my life.
At the time I was working as an addictions (heroin) counselor which had a residential program and where staff were free to take meals with the residents. I was so short on money I took advantage of that at the end of one month and I felt so embarrassed, as if everyone knew I was needy. However, I did have a nice house and a decent car, so I was far better off than many.
I've never misused credit cards since then. The pain was worth it for the lesson learned.
Some people remember the food, I most clearly remember the lack of accommodation choices that came with poverty. I remember being incredibly grateful for a dark, dank room sandwiched between an all-night brothel (with very loud movies booming through the paper-thin walls) and a butcher shop that started chopping up carcases at 4am. The place was right on a main road with trucks shaking the building 24/7. The memory of the smell of that mouldiness and greasy diesel still makes me feel queasy. But although the 8 months was torture, that room was relatively safe for me (next door had a guard, which balanced out the creepy clientele a bit) and had 4 walls. It's all relative.
Like many I don't think I have had any truly desperate times but, when we were first married there was very, very little money
and two babies in two years...
So we did all of the usual things gladly eating at the my parents or the inlaws once a week to stretch the food budget but, I had a recipe for oatmeal cookies and
made them so often for tea, gifts and the kids...at the time I thought the dab of jam in the centre made them look fancy...lol...sure I wasn't fooling anyone as to how cheap
they were to make.
DS worked at a garage and could get deals on used cars and he would do thinks like a change the oil and spark plugs and clean the engine and we would clean it inside and out and
maybe make $50.00 or some times more, for all the work when he resold it....he had a good eye for a deal and we didn't mind the work. Of course that was back in the old days before safety checks. It kept us
going many months. We must have done this at least 20 times in the first 5 years we were married.
I washed clothes and diapers in a wringer wash and line dried...every couple of days because there wasn't enough to last us more then that.
The thing I remember that I think would still be a good idea...I would have x number of $'s for a weeks food (not much), and I would write out a menu plan and then a list with a price expect to pay beside
every item if the total was too high I would redo the menu plan.....DS would pick me up to get groceries after work (of course only one car) and we would eat after we got home (because there was so little left in the house) and it would be some really good fast food like fish sticks..lol
We bought second hand, did all our own reapairs. sewed from old clothes, grew vegetables and took anything people would give us.
I don't remember them being really bad times and we survirved and thrived..
Last edited by danna; 2-19-12 at 7:13pm.
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