The family matriarch is dying

[catherine]

It makes me wonder if death was such a long process way back before all the interventions.

The only thing I would advise, not for any real reason other than I hadn't really considered it at the time--they say that the seemingly unconscious people close to death can hear everything. I know that my brothers and I were talking as if she were already dead--discussing funeral plans and other things, and if I had to do it again, just to hedge my bets, I would have spent more time speaking directly to my mother with words of love and comfort.

[pinkytoe]

I think they discuss that stuff out in the hallway. MIL actually still mumbles words that make sense and gets angry at the nurses who try to help her so I guess she's still in there. Dh was going to say his goodbyes and come back, then both of us go back for the funeral but his sibs are shaming him into staying until the funeral is over. There seems to be an unspoken belief that we must stay with people till they take their last breath. I don't know why but I think I would wait to be alone to exit.

[KayLR]

Thinking of you pinkytoe. I hope she is comfortable and at peace. Peace to your whole family.

[happystuff]

It makes me wonder if death was such a long process way back before all the interventions.

When we all gathered to say good-bye to my mother last September, we all had our conversations with her. I really believe she knew we were there and could hear us. We all - in our own way - told her it was okay for her to "go to sleep" (that is how she put it and wanted it). We all tried, in our own way to re-assure her that, although we would miss her, we would be fine; that she could "go". I truly believe she heard us.

As I consider myself a Buddhist, I do believe that there is a definite process to death. One of the first Buddhism books I ever read was The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying. Very informative.

Again, prayers to all

[pinkytoe]

Just learned that the assisted living place MIL is staying has been sold to a hedge fund effective March 15. No doubt they will lay off staff and raise prices.

[Tybee]

Just learned that the assisted living place MIL is staying has been sold to a hedge fund effective March 15. No doubt they will lay off staff and raise prices.

One of the few blessings of having Mom and Dad gone are that those places are no longer a factor in my life. We had five years of them, three different places.

[pinkytoe]

After two weeks, the drama is over. Watching another human die slowly is grueling. She went a whole week without food or water, gasped for every breath and we all began to wonder why she was lingering. After non-stop vigils, DH and his brother finally left the building one morning and sister left the room for a bit and she passed quietly. Perhaps some people really do want to be alone in their final moment. The whole affair was anything but simple and makes one think a lot about how you'd like your final days to be...if you have any say in the matter.

[Tradd]

So sorry to hear. But sounds like it’s a relief it’s over.

[catherine]

So sorry for you and your DH's family, pinkytoe. It is definitely a relief that she is now at peace.

[Tybee]

I'm sorry it was so difficult for her and for her family.