Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 22

Thread: Help me to not hate my neighbor

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    2,678

    Help me to not hate my neighbor

    When you live in close quarters to a neighbor or neighbors, there's a great potential for conflict. We've been lucky most of the time, but the last few years -- since a house was wedged into a too-small lot and is now very close to ours -- I've been having such trouble maintaining my serenity around this.

    I'm usually good at letting people be people. But these particular neighbors just make me insane. They heap piles of smelly junk all over their yard, which is already too small to give their kids a place to play. They scream profanity at their kids (2, 8, and 14) and at each other. They leave their dogs - they always have at least two, and they disappear at regular intervals, just to be replaced by another - chained outside, and the whining and barking and crying to get in just scrapes my pet-loving nerves raw. They grow pot (legally, with a medical card) but sell it to the neighborhood kids.....in fact that seems to be their only source of income aside from public assistance. Their youngest daughter was reported to social services for possible abuse, and so they took her out of school and are homeschooling her now "so that doesn't happen again" (according to the little girl).

    We've tried to talk to them, but they won't even come to the door (they peek out, see it's us, and don't answer)

    I'm trying to find a way to find peace with this, to live and let live. Nothing they're doing is illegal enough to get the attention of any local authorities...it's just really sad and sick and irritating, especially since I work at home and have to hear the "F this" and "F that" all day.

    How have you dealt with awful neighbors in your life? How do you find peace?

  2. #2
    Senior Member herbgeek's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    2,202
    I have no answers, just much empathy.

    Our first house was a condo. The owner of the condo next door decided it would be a good idea to rent to a section 8 tenant. I didn't have any objection to the section 8, per se, however I did object to parties under my bedroom window at 2am, jumping down 6 stairs at a time in steel toe boots, guests vomiting in my small square of yard, guests hanging on my back deck peering in, cars being backed up on the lawn with stereos blasting so loud I couldn't hear my TV, and the use of a chain saw /in/ the living room of the condo after midnight, and a general parade of unsavory looking characters at all hours of the day and night. I felt unsafe, due to several incidents of vandalism I couldn't prove, but were highly suspicious that they or their guests did the vandalism due to where and how it occurred. It was a miserable couple of years. We tried going away a lot on weekends, but after the vandalism that no longer seemed like a great idea. I did have a condo association to complain to, but they weren't particularly effective. The landlord called me a meddling busybody to the condo association. At the time I was working and going to grad school and away from home 14 hours a day, I just wanted to get some peace and quiet. I only lucked out because the tenants were deadbeats who moved out in the middle of the night (same way they moved in).

    I shouldn't take glee in this, but I do: when the tenants left in late October, they left all the windows open (they bragged to neighbors that they didn't have to pay for heat) with several days of below freezing temperatures. The landlord must have had to mostly gut the place, because I heard construction for a couple of months

  3. #3
    Member Gizmo's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    90
    What Herbgeek did, just buckle down and hope they move soon.

    I too lived in a condo with some really bad neighbors that pulled the same kind of crap that Herbgeek described. Their favorite method of torturing me was playing Mexican Polka music so loud it vibrated the pictures off the wall (and I didn't even live next door to them) and having drunken parties on the lawn all weekend, leaving the lawn strewn with empty beer cans the next morning.

    I tried the police and condo association with no luck. They both just kept saying we needed to talk to each other. Yeah, the time I tried that I ended up calling 911 for assistance, no joke, because they were getting so violent.

    One night (luckily I wasn't home that night, thank the gods) they ended up getting in a shoot-out with police at 3 am and barricading themselves in their condo with their girlfriend and NEWBORN for 2 hours.

    I ended up moving to Seattle, and having to short-sell my condo for a $50,000 loss (was a $100,000 condo when I bought it) because they brought the property values down so much.

    So, think of how much worse it could be and hope they move soon.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    3,120
    There can be bad neighbors in even regular SFH subdivisions. We had one with 4 little kids. One toddler got lost?, one son was picked up for vandalizing the construction sites, the daughter roamed, the other child was non verbal and not supervised. They went thru about 5 dogs in 2 years. They ran off 3 au pairs. Husband pretty much absent physically and wife mentally.

    I am childless by choice and just could not deal with the drama. At least they were not noisy.

  5. #5
    Mrs-M
    Guest
    We've been extra lucky in the neighbour department, but I do think living in residential neighbourhoods versus condominium and townhouse complexes helps. No advice to share, just the echo, "hope they move soon".

  6. #6
    Reyes
    Guest
    Can you move? Not an ideal option, but one you may have more control over versus waiting for if/when they move.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Zigzagman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Central Texas
    Posts
    578
    Don't feel bad, I hate my neighbor. They are right-wing, religious fanatics, pointy-toed sheetkickers. But I've found that people like that don't stay in one place very long.

    My solution, and it has worked for me, is to let them know that I don't really care what they do as long as it doesn't affect me or my DW. If they cross that line then I say that I will wring their neck like a chicken, and I mean it.

    Peace

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    2,678
    Quote Originally Posted by Zigzagman View Post
    I will wring their neck like a chicken, and I mean it.

    Peace
    I love the juxtaposition here, zigzag

    I don't think they're going anywhere. They own a Habitat house, their mortgage payment is very low, and they aren't allowed to sell the house until 2017. Can you tell I've hoped they'd leave?

    I think I could figure out a way to compartmentalize it in my head ("can't save the whole world, pug") if I just didn't have to hear it. But it is like nails on a chalkboard - the kids getting verbally abused (I was an abused kid), the dogs crying and crying 'til they get replaced with cute puppies, the poor chickens getting killed by foxes because they're too lazy to put up an enclosure taller than 3 feet.....it's a bleeding heart's nightmare.

    Maybe some kind of soundproofing work on my house? Fence? Sound-resistant windows like they put in houses around airports?

  9. #9
    Senior Member Zigzagman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Central Texas
    Posts
    578
    Quote Originally Posted by puglogic View Post
    I love the juxtaposition here, zigzag
    Keep it real!

    Peace

  10. #10
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    3,120
    Well, you can pray they dont meet the terms of the Habitat loan. Hubby is working on previously owned Habitat homes that have been repossessed. Sadly, a lot this year.

    The problem Habitat is having now is finding qualified people to buy the homes.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •