Are inheritances a common thing?

[Hattie]

I truly believe that the goal of this game of life is to end up with ZERO money in the bank (and owing no money). Hubby helps my Mom with her investments and every time she feels guilty about spending some of her savings I tell her that it is her money to enjoy and spend.

When my grandparents died and, more recently my Dad, all I asked for was one special item to remember them by. I didn't want anything expensive, just something small. From my Grandmother's estate I wanted the old pair of prospecting pants she wore as a teenager when she went prospecting with her Dad. I got those pants and proudly display them in my livingroom. *S* From Dad's estate I got an old tin lithograph he made when he worked years before. It's in the same room as my Grandmother's pants. I cherish them more than any money I might have been given (and there was none *S*).

When Hubby and I downsized into semi-retirement, we had a "get your inheritance now" party. Our new home is very small so we had to get rid of all our "stuff". We threw a big party with our kids and gave each one a different coloured sticky note. We drew numbers and the kid with number one got to put a sticky note on something they wanted. We went down the line of kids over and over again until there wasn't anything left in our house that didn't have a sticky note on it. Then the kids had 2 weeks to take their stuff out. Everyone had a great time and we got rid of all our excess stuff that we couldn't take with us. It was fun and surprising to see what each person (5 in total) chose.

[CathyA]

TMC......I'm sorry your parents are so selfish. There are all types and degrees of abuse. I don't understand why people have children, if they're not going to give it their all.

[JaneV2.0]

Many, perhaps most, people have children because it's expected or because birth control fails and abortions are stigmatized or difficult to get. I suspect only a minority of parents consider producing offspring a vocation.

I don't think parents owe their children a legacy beyond the life, food and shelter, and whatever wisdom they have passed along. Even less so if said children don't appreciate the efforts already made on their behalf.

Most people I know--of a certain age--have received modest inheritances, usually including property.

[catherine]

I truly believe that the goal of this game of life is to end up with ZERO money in the bank (and owing no money). Hubby helps my Mom with her investments and every time she feels guilty about spending some of her savings I tell her that it is her money to enjoy and spend.

When my grandparents died and, more recently my Dad, all I asked for was one special item to remember them by. I didn't want anything expensive, just something small. From my Grandmother's estate I wanted the old pair of prospecting pants she wore as a teenager when she went prospecting with her Dad. I got those pants and proudly display them in my livingroom. *S* From Dad's estate I got an old tin lithograph he made when he worked years before. It's in the same room as my Grandmother's pants. I cherish them more than any money I might have been given (and there was none *S*).

When Hubby and I downsized into semi-retirement, we had a "get your inheritance now" party. Our new home is very small so we had to get rid of all our "stuff". We threw a big party with our kids and gave each one a different coloured sticky note. We drew numbers and the kid with number one got to put a sticky note on something they wanted. We went down the line of kids over and over again until there wasn't anything left in our house that didn't have a sticky note on it. Then the kids had 2 weeks to take their stuff out. Everyone had a great time and we got rid of all our excess stuff that we couldn't take with us. It was fun and surprising to see what each person (5 in total) chose.

Love the idea of "get your inheritance now" party! I agree that we "owe" our children intangibles like respect, unconditional love, transmission of our values. Anything else is gravy--but sometimes it's arsenic. I feel badly when I see how people sometimes react with inheritances. And it's not greed--it's really more deep-seated than that. My DH has gone on and on about how his brother was named executor of his mother's estate! It was like a slap in the face because DH is older (and smarter when it comes to life skills). I know that my MIL felt that my BIL might not have enough say in his future, and he was her companion for his whole life, so she made him executor. But it's hard to explain that DH, he just sees it as "I wasn't loved as much." Argghh..

No wonder the story of Joseph in the Bible is so compelling... with four kids I always wonder, not IF there will be grievances, but will they be serious, damaging ones? I hope not.

[CathyA]

That is a good idea Hattie! The older I get, the more I don't want all this stuff and I don't want to leave a house full of junk for the kids to have to clean out. So I was doing something similar to what you did........Have the kids over and go through the house and they take what they want.
I spent so much of my life gathering stuff in. Now I want to let it go! And some things I sort of like, but don't want to give to strangers. So its nice to be able to give alot of things to my young adult children, so they can enjoy them throughout their lives too.