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Thread: Declining family events because of...well, money

  1. #11
    Senior Member Polliwog's Avatar
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    I wouldn't decline the invitations unless you really do not want to go. Instead of gifts, maybe you could make some cookies, or banana bread, etc. and give it with a card. It may be a situation where the cousins just want to include you. Hold your head high and go without a gift.

  2. #12
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    I try to assume the best in everyone, sometimes I am more sucuessful than others, LOL. If I didn't want to go to the parties but wanted to continue the friendship, I would decline but offer an alternative time to get together. "Sorry I can't get together for little Suzy's birthday party. I would like to see you tho, could we meet at the park...." I think people are busy and it is hard to add one more get together.

    I also would have no problem bringing something small for a baby shower with, "My sisters kids just loved this little book when they were small" The same with the 2 yr old's birthday. Sometimes it is the small thoughtful gift that says a lot.

  3. #13
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    I agree with the small gift. At the 4 year old's Bday party, I used a handmade Elmo card that got a huge amount of good comment and a small ballerina doll. The birthday girl gave more comments to it than all the clothes and some of the big toys she got. It cost me very little since I think it was a garage sale purchase from some time ago. It was pink and had a big smile.

    Note that one of the present was a tie dye set that was for 8 year old + kids and had permanent dye in it. Not the best thing for a 4 year old even with a "hippy" mother. The best toy of the lot for the 4 year old was the Play Doh set. It kept 4 kids busy and out of the adults hair for over an hour. Yea.

    ps: The cabbage patch doll that I gave her last year has lasted beautifully and is still played with. They are great toys.

  4. #14
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    I absolutely agree with Early Morning. I hate it when I'm only invited for gift giving occasions.

  5. #15
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    If you really don't want to go - at all - consider sending a nice, heartfelt letter that makes your fondness for the kids clear, but explains that you can't be there.

    If you DO want to go but can't afford the present thing, it seems like the suggestions above (either biting the bullet and just bringing a card, or bringing something small and meaningful) would work.

    Depends on whether you want to be there, or are indifferent to being there. Unless you have a crystal ball, you have no way of knowing 100% whether they're just trolling for gifts, so leave other peoples' expectations on the curb and just do what is right for you.

  6. #16
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    Money is tight for us as well. It sounds like you aren't particularly close to these people and don't really want to go. But if you do there are plenty of gifts you can bring that don't cost very much money. One thing I have done for small children is to take a nice folder, add some pretty paper and stickers inside of it, tie it closed with some rafia and attach a pretty pencil.

    Kids shouldn't need big expensive gifts - it is having family there and the little things that should make them most happy.

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