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Thread: Do I want to be friends with this person?

  1. #1
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    Do I want to be friends with this person?

    Today a friend was nasty to me. It totally took me off guard... or perhaps I am too sensitive??? I was talking about a day trip I would really like to do and she said "Do you go see the world's biggest ball of string too?". She then laughed and laughed. huh??? Remarks such as these make me want to stay away from her. I would never say such a thing to someone ... even if I thought them.

  2. #2
    Senior Member ctg492's Avatar
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    I like to think kind of people, but if they are not someone who makes me happy or brings me down in some way, I try to just wish them well in my mind....then stay clear. Why do I need to fill what time I have on earth with those that are like that?

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    How is the rest of your friendship? Does she just have a wicked sense of humor....do you know this about her? Did she think you would find it funny? (did you laugh or smile?) Or is she just a mean person?

    I have one friend in particular who knows that she can help me poke fun at myself in that way. I'd be likely to retort "String? Boring. But the world's biggest ball of aluminum foil? I'm there." She's a good, loyal, loving friend who just happens to see the world through silly glasses that way -- and I've known her long enough to know that she doesn't intend to cause harm, just mirth.

    Only you can look at this in the bigger picture of your friendship, what you know about her, how comfortable she feels cracking jokes with you, and whether she's truly malicious. I don't think anyone here can judge that based on one sentence taken out of the context of the rest of your relationship.

    But mean people? Like ctg, I have no time for people like that. If she's mean, to you or to others, kick 'er to the curb.

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    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    I would love to see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota!

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    Was she showing off for other people to hear? Sometimes it is more about them trying to impact others and very thoughtless about who they are with. I have had to talk to my husband about ganging up on me with others. It loses some of the funny parts.

    I wish I was strong enough and fast enough on the come back to just point out the hurtfulness of some comments.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by rosarugosa View Post
    I would love to see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota!
    My husband and I have always wanted to take a "roadside oddities" tour of the U.S. I think it would be a hoot. We were fortunate to be able to stop and see the World's Biggest Prairie Dog, the Highest Point in Iowa, the Green Giant in Blue Earth MN, and the big boot in Red Wing too. I think that stuff is hilarious....phooey on those who can't find the fun in everyday life like that! (like frugal_one's friend)

    Which reminds me that I'm dying of curiosity, frugal_one: What were you talking about visiting on your day trip, that she responded that way? I'll bet it was somewhere cool and fun.

  7. #7
    Senior Member treehugger's Avatar
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    Well, it all comes down to her intent and the context of your relationship. With my friends and family, such a comment would be taken as all in good fun, but we all tease each other good naturedly and always have. Only you can tell if she was actually being nasty or if you are too sensitive.

    Kara

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    Well this person is always trying to give impressive parties and always have things "just so". She invites the "who's who" of the town we live in. I could care less about that stuff. She invites me for coffee on her good china and cloth napkins. I told her I am not into that and I do invite her but use my everyday dishes and paper napkins. I think her comment was to belittle me and make herself more important. I think I'll let it go this time but if it happens in the future I will tell her and possibly end contact. I don't need to justify myself to anyone. I guess, she just took me by surprise. I was talking about taking a day trip to the only sock factory in the US. They have an awesome sale 2x per year ($16 socks for $2) and then planning other things to do on the way... possibly visit family. frugal-one!

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by frugal-one View Post
    Well this person is always trying to give impressive parties and always have things "just so". She invites the "who's who" of the town we live in. I could care less about that stuff. She invites me for coffee on her good china and cloth napkins. I told her I am not into that and I do invite her but use my everyday dishes and paper napkins. I think her comment was to belittle me and make herself more important. I think I'll let it go this time but if it happens in the future I will tell her and possibly end contact. I don't need to justify myself to anyone. I guess, she just took me by surprise. I was talking about taking a day trip to the only sock factory in the US. They have an awesome sale 2x per year ($16 socks for $2) and then planning other things to do on the way... possibly visit family. frugal-one!
    Some people have trouble thinking outside the box - and a lot of people don't have a very large box (no judgement on intelligence, but on being open-minded) to begin with.

    I'd like a trip to a sock factory - but then again when my kids watched Mr. Rogers, I always liked the film clips where they took the trips to see how things were made :-)

  10. #10
    Senior Member Gina's Avatar
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    Not sure about the big ball of string, but I would happily visit the sock factory - I love knowing how things are made, as well as good sales.

    As to your friend, she's on probation now. If you like her and derive other good things from this friendship, give her more lee-way but protect yourself. If she is just a habit, or you just don't want to hurt her feelings, that's a different story.

    Years ago I read a New Year's suggestion that I try to follow: Don't associate with people that bring you down.
    moo

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