Sharing domestic chores

[Greg44]

Bastelmutti. I find it comforting to hear from someone else Re: their domestic territorial ways. My mom's domestic territory (aside from everything domestic) has always been laundry. She takes laundry serious. .

I had a friend who ruined several pieces of his wife's clothing...he was banned forever from the laundry...he said with a wink!

[Mrs-M]

Originally posted by Greg44.
I had a friend who ruined several pieces of his wife's clothing...he was banned forever from the laundry...he said with a wink!

The DIRTY rascal..... I see that look in your eyes. LMAO! Hope your not getting any ideas.

[Mrs-M]

One area related to shared domestic chores (in our house) that never came close to materializing, was diaper changing. My husband would not for the life of him, deal with a diaper, not even one that was piddled in, so that aspect of domestic duties always fell on me. My dad was the same.

Another area where DH managed to escape responsibility, cooking. To this day DH can't boil a pot of water without making a mess, and he breaks out in a cold-sweat, if he has to make himself a slice of toast, so everything kitchen, falls on me, which I'm perfectly OK with.

[JaneV2.0]

I had a friend who ruined several pieces of his wife's clothing...he was banned forever from the laundry...he said with a wink!

My mother once "accidentally" rested a hot iron on the center back of one of my father's shirts long enough to make an impression, so to speak. As long as I can remember, he ironed his own clothes. The women in my family are gifted in many ways, but not easily domesticated.

ETA: my beloved is much tidier and prone to keeping up with household chores than I am. I love that about him.

[larknm]

DH and I are in our late 60's. He does things I hate to do and vice versa--these are few, but hate to the extent that they wouldn't happen if the other one didn't do them. That means he makes the bed and I mop. Otherwise, we do favors for each other, doing chores the other more often does, and we divvy up--like I put the clothes in the washer and turn it one, he hangs them out more often than I do, but more often we do it together, same with taking them in, folding them up, putting them away. Weavoid lots of tasks we don't like by keeping it simple, like not buying stuff that needs to be ironed (have no iron or board), have few things so not much that needs to be put away and have no storage space. Have a small house so it's not only cheaper but quicker to maintain--including it doesn't hold much stuff, another reason we don't have that stuff. When it's time for something to go, it most often gets set out on the street for any neighbor who might need it, so no hassle about how to get rid of or time spent doing so.

[Zoebird]

So, an update, and this is interesting. I read my old pieces.

While a lot of it is still true, a lot has changed in the year.

Last year, I did most of the household chores. I was home in the mornings while DH was at work, and DH was home in the evenings. It was no problem to keep the house clean and tidy, because I wasn't working as much. Now, I am working all day Mon, Tues, and Wed, and then half days Thurs/Fri. DH is working half days Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and every-other wednesday. He is home the majority of the time.

So, because of this, he actually started to take on more. It started with an assertion that he has to do "everything." But I pointed out that his life is pretty much the same as before. He's still working his normal hours, and he still gets his gym/workout time. The difference is, that I'm working much more than I was before, and there is only so much time in my day.

He was frustrated that 'nothing was getting done' becuase he was no longer doing things. Cooking was about 50-50, but at this point, I wasn't cooking at all. So, he was getting frustrated about this. Then, when he does cook, he doesn't wash all of the dishes or wipe down the kitchen, so the kitchen, of course, was "no longer functional!" and so on and so forth on down the trail.

Eventually, I just said to him that he'll have to do it. I'm happy to help out -- and I do. I help with laundry, I do some of the dishes and wipe down countertops, I cook when I can (often on weekends), and I do a lot of decluttering each evening. I also use Thursday mornings to do my scrubbing chores of the day -- it really only takes about an hour to do the whole house (dust, mop, scrub everything, vacuum, windows, etc) if the house is overall tidy. On Fridays, I do the garden, sweeping around the house, scrubbing the house down (of spider webs, mold, sand/salt, etc), and then wash/vacuum the car. DS usually helps, and of course, we tidy the house before we leave, so that DH and DS come home to a nice, clean and tidy house. Or on Fridays, we all do.

This really means, that DH has to do most -- to all -- of the cooking, as well as clean the dishes and wipe the countertops and such. In addition, when he does laundry, he also has to fold it and put it all away. And finally, he has to tidy with DS before the bed-time routine.

As much as I agree with the notion "they are only little once, household chores can wait," the reality is that the chores take very little time if they are "built in" AND they are time with DS. DS loves to help out.

Today, for example, he was out in the garden whiel I was scrubbing the bathroom. I then moved on t scrub the kitchen, and heard DS using the toilet. I came in to ask him if he needed a wipe, and discovered that he was planting tomatoes in the middle of the clean-and-still-wet bathroom floor. In addition, he was using his own urine to both fertilize and water this plant, so that it will grow in the nice, warm and wet bathroom. Apparently, I'd said something about it being a strange summer, and the tomatoes probably needed more warmth and moisture. Problem solved, the bathroom is the obvious place!

So, I cleaned the bathroom again.

In any case, the reality is he is a helpful kid, and tidying is a fun task for us. So is getting dressed and brushing teeth and all of the mundanities of life. It is still "with" him, even if it's not cuddling or playing. And, we do a lot of that too -- in a clean and tidy house.

Seeing that he really only works about a 4 hr day, and is away from home 6 hours total (usually), and he has the remaining 6 hrs until I get home with DS, and 2 of those hours are spent on bed-time routine. . . it turns out that he CAN finish things like folding and puttin the laundry away, or tidying up the blocks before dinner (which is what I used to do on my dinner-home nite).

This has been good for me, as it makes it easier for me to clean on my day.

[Mighty Frugal]

My dh and I both work full time outside the home, so we share chores. He does most of the laundry and most of the cooking as well as all outdoor chores. He also cleans the basement washroom. I clean the upstairs bathroom, change all the bedding and clean the kitchen-counters, floors, dishwasher. I also do all the dusting.

Oh, and dh does most of the vacuuming.

I HATE vacuuming and TRY to get him to do it because he got to decide on the type of vacuum cleaner we would buy.

He chose a Miele (great) but upright (HATE uprights). So this big boxy clumsy monster is constantly bruising my shins, absolutely refuses to climb up the stairs, and keeps bashing his big dumb head against the couch and bed because he is too big to fit underneath!

How do people with stupid uprights clean under furniture? And don't tell me to use that nozzle hose attachment thingy..because firstly Mr. Miele Upright refuses to release it without a fight...then once the hose is ready and has sucked up my hair a few times (he loves showing off his sucking power) then what?

Do you honestly think I am going to lie on the floor while I wave this hose up and down and back and forth under the furniture? How long would it take for me to clean the entire floor under the furniture? The nozzle's sucking head is a mere 2 inches wide....it never does a good job.

So I yank out the stupid nozzle, and then fight Mr. Miele Upright to let go of the attachment-he hangs on tight. Finally get it off, and the hose sucks my hair up again..cram the stupid attachment back in the holder which doesn't hold it and it falls on my foot....argh..I HATE uprights! Thinking they are so smart with their stupid light at the front. Who cares about a light. It's not like I vacuum in the dark! I have lights on my ceilings thankyouverymuch.

I miss my canister vacuum who would glide under my furniture with nary a growl....who would happily scamper up as I vacuumed the stairs

But now that we've spent tons of money on the stupid Mr. Miele Upright I am stuck with it..and they don't die...not even if you poison them...or put a hex on them.....so I now refuse to vacuum.

[Stella]

Today, for example, he was out in the garden whiel I was scrubbing the bathroom. I then moved on t scrub the kitchen, and heard DS using the toilet. I came in to ask him if he needed a wipe, and discovered that he was planting tomatoes in the middle of the clean-and-still-wet bathroom floor. In addition, he was using his own urine to both fertilize and water this plant, so that it will grow in the nice, warm and wet bathroom. Apparently, I'd said something about it being a strange summer, and the tomatoes probably needed more warmth and moisture. Problem solved, the bathroom is the obvious place!

Hahaha! I know that kind of thing is really irritating the moment you discover it, but it's the kind of thing you'll laugh over when he's 30. That is hilarious.

[Zoebird]

Oh, no, stella. I thought it was very funny. It was upsetting of course, becuase I had to re-clean the bathroom, but it was so funny. And I couldn't really get mad at hime. I said "just as mommy next time you want to plant some plants, ok? I'll help you find the right place and help you do it." And he goes 'But I can do it by myself!" and I siad "I know that you can, but it would be great if we could do it together. It's more fun together."

It works out. But seriously. Twice cleaned bathroom today!

[Mrs-M]

Lots of fun reading everyone's entries!