The Daily Peeve / Rant

[freshstart]

I love Dame Maggie!

my mom and I get cheap season tickets to a rep company, $50 for 6 plays. Parking costs more. We love it and I know this is the last year because the odds of her being here are slim. It was so cool that I found out she likes this stuff (it's a little humorous watching your mom, in the front row, jump up and enthusiastically giving a stand O to Venus in Fur (google it and my mom was a nun!).

I thought her going today (to a really good one) was going to be hard, but the staff are great to her, once we get there we are fine. All I had to do was get the lightweight wheelchair out of the car and push her, she would drive the car.

No one will 'let' me go. They stopped a pill last week and I have been very wobbly. I knew if I had to deal with the wheelchair, the hardest part, if I could do that, I could go. I'm not driving so I won't hurt anyone, if I fall asleep at the play, who cares? I do not feel up to lifting that chair, thought take shower, will feel better and the parking lot guy would lift the wheelchair if I could not.

I go to shower, still dressed, they knock and ask me to come into the LR for a sec. This is feeling like they are going to tell me my dogs went to a "farm". They want me in bed, getting up only when necessary and must use walker, do I know how much I fell yesterday? Nope, I don't remember much about yesterday. They called heart doc yest, usual no BP reading able to be heard, but pulse was well over 200 and all I knew is I felt horrible and was really confused at times. He added a third dose of the drug that is supposed be bring my heart rate down, but also makes my BP plummet. They told me all this yesterday. Remember none of it. But if I am this sedated, I'm betting on that 3rd dose causing it. So no shower and sure as hell no play. My mom found a friend to take her.

I get it, I do not like it, but I get it. I want more memories with my mom and I am not making them happen. Ditto kids, dad, friends, family. But I have time, I hope, for them for many years. Not true with my mom and it sucks! I'm lucky to have her this long, I know that. Still sucks. Sorry for bitchin' and moaning, it's that kind of day.

[iris lilies]

I love Dame Maggie!

my mom and I get cheap season tickets to a rep company, $50 for 6 plays. Parking costs more. We love it and I know this is the last year because the odds of her being here are slim. It was so cool that I found out she likes this stuff (it's a little humorous watching your mom, in the front row, jump up and enthusiastically giving a stand O to Venus in Fur (google it and my mom was a nun!).

I thought her going today (to a really good one) was going to be hard, but the staff are great to her, once we get there we are fine. All I had to do was get the lightweight wheelchair out of the car and push her, she would drive the car.

No one will 'let' me go. They stopped a pill last week and I have been very wobbly. I knew if I had to deal with the wheelchair, the hardest part, if I could do that, I could go. I'm not driving so I won't hurt anyone, if I fall asleep at the play, who cares? I do not feel up to lifting that chair, thought take shower, will feel better and the parking lot guy would lift the wheelchair if I could not.

I go to shower, still dressed, they knock and ask me to come into the LR for a sec. This is feeling like they are going to tell me my dogs went to a "farm". They want me in bed, getting up only when necessary and must use walker, do I know how much I fell yesterday? Nope, I don't remember much about yesterday. They called heart doc yest, usual no BP reading able to be heard, but pulse was well over 200 and all I knew is I felt horrible and was really confused at times. He added a third dose of the drug that is supposed be bring my heart rate down, but also makes my BP plummet. They told me all this yesterday. Remember none of it. But if I am this sedated, I'm betting on that 3rd dose causing it. So no shower and sure as hell no play. My mom found a friend to take her.

I get it, I do not like it, but I get it. I want more memories with my mom and I am not making them happen. Ditto kids, dad, friends, family. But I have time, I hope, for them for many years. Not true with my mom and it sucks! I'm lucky to have her this long, I know that. Still sucks. Sorry for bitchin' and moaning, it's that kind of day.

awwww, I am so sorry to hear all of this. ugh.

[freshstart]

awwww, I am so sorry to hear all of this. ugh.

thank you, iris lilies.

[frugal-one]

Went to the laundromat today to wash rugs. Got there and one person was using ALL the machines. There were 8 regular machines and 4 double. I guess first come, first serve but it seems very inconsiderate to me.

[freshstart]

that is a lotta laundry! sorry you had to wait

[SiouzQ.]

Must get over for the 1000th time that certain people in my life (namely immediate family) will never be able to provide the type of emotional support and validation of feelings that I sometimes crave. Emotions, whether they are painful or joyous, and feelings in general are not allowed in my family of origin, as they make everyone waaaaay too uncomfortable. Thus you have a "family" group of utter strangers that just happen to share DNA.

And I guess, as always, it would be just too much to ask to get more than a "HB2U" greeting from my dad on Facebook. I don't think the guy has initiated an actual phone call to me in over 15 years...just saying. Somethings WILL never change, and I have to learn for the 1000th time to get over it.

[Ultralight]

Must get over for the 1000th time that certain people in my life (namely immediate family) will never be able to provide the type of emotional support and validation of feelings that I sometimes crave. Emotions, whether they are painful or joyous, and feelings in general are not allowed in my family of origin, as they make everyone waaaaay too uncomfortable. Thus you have a "family" group of utter strangers that just happen to share DNA.

And I guess, as always, it would be just too much to ask to get more than a "HB2U" greeting from my dad on Facebook. I don't think the guy has initiated an actual phone call to me in over 15 years...just saying. Somethings WILL never change, and I have to learn for the 1000th time to get over it.

While this sucks as a circumstance, you seem to be fairly resilient to it -- which is commendable!

Most of my family members are strangers too.

I have been fairly deliberate about trying to create an extended "chosen family." This has helped...

[freshstart]

Must get over for the 1000th time that certain people in my life (namely immediate family) will never be able to provide the type of emotional support and validation of feelings that I sometimes crave. .

maybe you will learn to accept it for what it is, but truly getting over a family like that is huge, it hurts, how could it not? It took me a long time to "not go to the hardware store for butter", and finally I don't, but decades of alienation, I can't get over, I can move on but it's still there. That's BS, I still go to the hardware store for butter thinking there is a glimmer of hope, always a fail.

Your dad is a jerk, he is missing out on what should've been one of the most important relationships in his life. I agree with UA, create your own family from the people in your life who would never treat you like that

[CathyA]

"Just" another school massacre. Everybody talks about it and is sooooo sad. But nothing ever changes. It's pathetic.

[freshstart]

I feel like it will never change, this was the 45th school shooting just this year. I'm with Obama on this one, “our thoughts and prayers are not enough.” While expressing condolences, he was clearly angry and said he expected to be accused of politicizing this issue and he responded with, "why shouldn't it be?" He brought up gun control. There were 13 guns there supposedly, how did one guy amass that many? The NRA has not responded because they want all the facts, I'm waited with bated breath for how they will spin this. Responsible gun owners, I can deal with, hunting, target shooting, perhaps in your home for protection. I can compromise. But open carry on a trip to Walmart, why is this ok? 2,500 kids killed so far this year. I'm done and ready for change. If there was a group not so frenetic as the NRA, who can compromise as well, we could get this done.